Karen Kingsbury
18 min read ⭑
“I think we all have a Paris. Something we said, something we did, a moment in our lives when we wish we hadn’t done that or said that thing. … But at the end of the day, it’s not just forgiving yourself; it’s finding that God is true and that Romans 8:28 is real—that he will work good out of any situation for those who love him.”
The following is a transcript of a live interview. Responses have been edited and condensed for brevity and clarity.
QUESTION #1: ACQUAINT
There’s much more to food than palate and preference. How does your go-to meal at your favorite hometown restaurant reveal the true you behind the web bio?
My go-to meal is much more about the kind of conversation that my family is going to have. It's going to be right here at our home in Brentwood, Tennessee, where my husband will be grilling up his famous steaks, burgers, chicken, or some other great protein, and I'll make something like whipped cauliflower. My kids laugh at me for making that, but it's so healthy and good for you, and it tastes delicious when it's whipped with butter and salt. (No pepper, though, because I'm allergic to pepper.)
Once dinner is ready, we sit around the table and play a question game. We ask great questions like “Which disciple would you want to go to dinner with and why?” or “If you could hang out with an author, living or dead, who would that be?” or “If you had a million dollars and you couldn't give it away, how would you use it to better the world? What would you do?” We have these great questions and we get to know each other even better.
I think it's interesting that when the kids were younger, my husband and I believed that if we respected them and asked for a level of respect in return, they would give it. We were intentional in our parenting so that, when they were older, they would be our friends. And that is what we’re seeing now. We all work together. Pretty much everyone in the family is on the team of Life-Changing Fiction, doing some aspect of it. So we get to sit around a table and talk about that and talk about things we wouldn't have known about each other.
Ben Sauer; Unsplash
QUESTION #2: REVEAL
We’ve all got quirky proclivities and out-of-the-way interests. So what are yours? What so-called "nonspiritual" activities do you love and help you find spiritual renewal?
Well, I’m pretty good at ping-pong. I remember the day when, probably 10 years into my writing career, I realized I wanted to play it. It was late at night, the Olympics were on, and the women were playing ping-pong. (This was during the early years of women's ping-pong, so they put it on at midnight.) I was putting away laundry when the television caught my eye. I stopped, looked at the women playing, and thought, I could beat those girls. I think I can do that. Keep in mind, I’m about 35 or 40 at this point. My husband was already in bed falling asleep, so I went over to him, shook his shoulder, and said, “Honey, Honey, wake up.” He roused up out of his sleep, looked at the television, and asked, “What are you doing?” I replied, “Look at them. I can beat them!” He watched them for a minute and said, “You need to go to sleep.”
We laughed about that, but the truth is, we now have a ping-pong table downstairs, and our adult kids bring their friends over all the time to play. We even have a trophy we pass around. (Granted, it's only three inches tall, but it’s still a trophy!) We do doubles tournaments, and it's always fun because my grandsons say, “Wait until you see my mom! My mom can totally play.” It’s just cute. I'm so thankful that it's a place where we can connect and laugh and have a lot of fun. And then afterward, I'm ready to sit in a chair the next day to do the writing.
QUESTION #3: CONFESS
Every superhero has a weakness. Every human, too. We're just good at faking it. But who are we kidding? We’re broken and in this thing together. So what’s your kryptonite and how do you hide it?
I care a lot for my readers, so I pray for them. I care deeply for them. So it can be hard not to let criticism get to me. My advice to myself is to fly at 30,000 feet. That way, if somebody says something kind and amazing about me, then all glory to God. And if they say something less than amazing, something mean, let it just roll off. It's not supposed to stick.
There was a time when a reader sent an email with the subject line “Karen Kingsbury fan, no more.” I don't have time to read all of the emails. (Thankfully, my mom does that now. She'll read them and answer “From Karen's mom, Anne”—it's very precious.) But this letter in particular came in a few years ago, and I remember reading it. The reader said something to the effect of “Now that you've written so many books and you have so much success, you obviously have abandoned your family and you're not a good mother and you're not a good wife. You neglected them. Now that I see you’ve become so famous as an author, I am not a fan any longer because you've abandoned your family.” That note made me cry. I sat there in the quiet, alone in front of my computer, with tears streaming down my face.
But my daughter Kelsey did something sweet. (This was a few years back, so she was still at home before she got married.) She came down, saw me crying, and said, “What happened?” And I replied, “You know, this shouldn't bother me—it's like when you have a million clear drops in the glass and you put one drop of red in, and the whole thing turns pink. So I know this email shouldn't bother me, but it is.” So Kelsey read it while I was heading out to go do something with one of the other kids. When I came back, I found out that Kelsey had written back to this woman. She said, “You don't know my mother. My mom loves and cares more about us than any of the books.” And then, of course, the woman wrote back and said, “Well, now I know you're a terrible mother because your daughter is rude,” even though Kelsey’s letter was very polite.
I see my readers as friends in my living room. I don't care if it's millions or not—that’s how I see them. God put a story on my heart, but he has their hearts in mind, so their hearts are in my mind, too. And that makes my position as an author a very vulnerable place. My writing ministry isn’t cavalier. It’s not all about numbers—I care about each reader, and I pray for them. I see the messages they send in. I go on Facebook and Instagram to respond to their posts and talk to them on Tuesdays at my Storytime Tuesday on Facebook Live. I care about them, and sometimes that brings a feeling of loneliness because, at the end of the day, they're not in my living room. As a writer, you give a lot, and sometimes you don’t get a lot back because your readers aren’t physically here. That’s why it doesn’t take much—sometimes just the wrong comments—for me to think, They don’t even like me! That kind of insecurity comes up a bit from time to time, but for the most part, I wouldn't trade my calling for any other. I love being vulnerable with them and caring that much, so I'll keep doing it.
QUESTION #4: FIRE UP
Tell us about your toil. How are you investing your professional time right now? What’s your obsession? And why should it be ours?
My obsession right now is Forgiving Paris: A Novel. It's my new book that I wrote a year ago. (An author is always about a year away from the book that they wrote.) People often ask me, “Do you have a favorite book?” And I like to say, “Well, you don't have a favorite child. You're clapping loudest for the one who's on stage or on the field.” And in this case, Forgiving Paris is on stage.
Forgiving Paris is the story of going back to your past. In the novel, my main character is going back to her past where she made this terrible decision. She's having to face it and realize that even though God has forgiven her, she hasn't forgiven herself. So this is a time not only for her to forgive herself but also to find redemption and beauty in the broken pieces and in the ashes of what happened there.
I feel like readers are loving it because they have a Paris. I think we all have a Paris. Something we said, something we did, a moment in our lives when we wish we hadn't done that or said that thing. This book will vicariously take you to your own Paris. Even though you're walking around the arrondissements of Paris, and you're walking the bridges and seeing the museums of Paris, you will still be in your own heart in your own Paris. You will find yourself having to recognize the good that God brought out of that time. At the end of the day, it's not just forgiving yourself; it's finding that God is true and that Romans 8:28 is real—that he will work good out of any situation for those who love him.
QUESTION #5: BOOST
Cashiers, CEOs, contractors, or customer service reps, we all need grace flowing into us and back out into the world. How does the Holy Spirit invigorate your work? And how do you know it's God when it happens?
I have a little studio where I can work. There's no television or anything in it—just pictures of the beach because I love the beach and feel the Holy Spirit there. To clarify, I feel his presence where I am, and I feel his pleasure whenever I'm writing something he's put on my heart. But in that workspace where I'm by myself, time stands still and everything else fades away. I might put on one of those beautiful Christian instrumental worship albums, maybe something by Bethel Music or Hillsong, and I’m in a different place. I pray and ask the Lord to bring the story to light. And I know he needs me in that place because I forget that I'm writing—I feel like a reader. I feel like I am the first reader to the point where I'm laughing and I'm crying.
If I'm home and working on that, my husband will come by and pat me on my shoulder and say, “It'll be okay. You are making it up, you know.” But the truth is, it doesn't feel like it. It's such a beautiful, deep, rich story. When I finish a book like Forgiving Paris, I stand up and have my fist raised in the air—victory! I celebrate because it's good, and it's good because God gave it to me. It's not like I'm applauding myself; I'm applauding heaven. I’m applauding what the Lord has done through the power of words. I'm reminded that, when Jesus was on earth, if he wanted to tell someone something, he would tell them straight. And when he wanted to make a point, he might turn over a table. But when he wanted to touch a heart and leave someone with something deep to ponder that might change their life forever, he would tell a story. Because of that, I feel very connected to the Creator when I'm in that place where the words are flowing. When I finish a chapter or a book, all I can say is “Wow, I am doing what I was created to do.” It is such a beautiful and holy experience to be in that place.
QUESTION #6: inspire
Scripture and tradition beckon us into the rich and varied actions that open our hearts to the presence of God. So spill it, which spiritual practice is workin' best for you right now?
Memorizing Scripture works very well for me. Sometimes I have to write—or I get to write—late into the evening. Right now, I'm working on a couple of television series. I'm writing the screenplays for the first seasons of two different television series with Tyler, our oldest son. There are a lot of late nights. And you know what they say—don't be on your screen late at night because you won’t be able to fall asleep. So the best spiritual practice for me is to cozy up with the Lord when I go to sleep and go over my memorized Scripture.
I never get to the end of the list—I'm asleep before I get through my list, but I just picture my Lord and Savior. He's many things, but he's the Prince of Peace, and he stands up for me. And as I memorize—and those words are coming to life again and again in my heart and Scripture is working in me, alive and active—I sense that presence of the Prince of Peace saying, “It's okay to let it all go. The day is over. Go to sleep.” I don't lie there, tossing and turning, which allows me to wake up and start over by being in his Word again.
QUESTION #7: FOCUS
Our email subscribers get free ebooks featuring our favorite resources—lots of things that have truly impacted our faith lives. But you know about some really great stuff too. What are three resources that have impacted you?
I became a Christian in my mid-20s. Before that, I had a belief in God but never had opened the Bible, and I didn’t have a relationship with Jesus as I would come to have later. I gave my life to Jesus while I was dating this guy who would end up being my husband. (We've been married 33 years now.) Now, let me tell you a bit about my husband at that time. He didn't come from a background of faith, but he knew there had to be more to life. His life was full of a lot of divorce and emptiness when it came to his parents and family members. So he thought, I’ve got to do it differently. So he decided to start reading the Bible. Who does that? It’s such a beautiful picture of how a man can choose to be after God's heart, and that's what my husband chose. (He's really the one you should be talking to!)
While we were dating, he always wanted to bring his Bible whenever we went out. I thought he was so crazy and weird. But I also thought he was very good-looking, handsome, and clean-cut. We had met in Los Angeles, and to meet someone like that there seemed like a small miracle. So since I didn't want to lose him too fast, I put up with the Bible reading. But whenever he brought the Bible, we would go back and forth about it, and over time, the tension in our conversations about the Word grew. You see, at that point in my life, I had developed my own moral code of sorts. If you'd have asked me about my morals, I would have said, “Well, I'm definitely a good person, and these are the things I think are good. They don’t mean anything, though. They're just me. They’re meaningless.”
So about three months into dating, I did something a bit drastic. We were standing by his car on a sunny Southern California afternoon, and I took that beautiful Bible and threw it on the ground, breaking it in half. He didn’t get mad. He just picked up the pieces, gave me a sad look, and drove off with the broken Bible. After he left, I thought, Okay, no matter what my viewpoints are, if I have to break the Bible to prove them, something's wrong. Obviously. I thought the ground was going to open up or that I would be struck by lightning or something. I knew throwing the Bible was a horrible thing.
That experience made me realize that I should read the Bible for myself—and that’s when I remembered there was a Christian bookstore about a mile and a half from my house. All my life, I had passed by this strange place but I never went in. But this time, I went to the Christian bookstore and said, “I'm looking for a Bible in English. I'm looking for something I can read and for a way to look up words.” And so this girl takes me to the back of the store and she handed me an NIV Bible and a Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance. This was before we had apps, so I was buried under the weight of these huge books while taking them out to my car. When I got to my car, I didn’t even start it—I had to look up some things in my new Bible first. I had been raised in a denominational faith, but it was so distant that it wasn't even a faith. It was more like a club. So I started looking up certain words, but they were not there. You see, I had some manmade beliefs and thoughts of what should be in there. At that moment, I could hear the Lord for the very first time. He was saying to me, in my spirit, “You can either fall away with all your manmade beliefs or you can grab on to my Word and never let go.” So I grabbed on, and I've never left that. That reliance on God’s Word only gets stronger with every passing year in my life. I will only attend a church that goes by the Word of God. That's it. That's the most important thing to me.
All that to say, the Bible would be my first and favorite resource.
The second resource I would recommend is actually a song. A couple of years into our marriage, my husband and I realized we had some big differences. I'm super outgoing and extroverted. Him? Not as much. Our love languages were also different. His way of saying I love you is offering to do the dishes while mine is spending quality time together. I'd say things like “Why don't you want to sit with me? It seems like you're ignoring me.” So while we had these differences that we had to figure out, there was a time when I felt that the darkest darkness was trying to pull me away from him. It was trying to separate us and cause us to lose our marriage early on. And during that time, a friend said to me, “I can tell you're about to have an affair. I can see you're not doing good. I want you to listen to this song, ‘Whatever You Ask,’ by Steve Camp.”
At that time of my life, I was writing true crime books from my days as a reporter. The day my friend talked to me, I was driving two hours to go visit a killer in prison and talk to him. That was my assignment for the day. So during the drive, I listened to “Whatever You Ask” on cassette tape over and over (which wasn’t easy to do, mind you). I probably played it 25 times on the way there and 25 times on the way back. During the first 49 times, I was angry at God, thinking, No, I don't want to stop there. He won't go with me to places. I was whining and giving excuses for why I didn't feel like I was going to make this marriage work. But on the 50th time, the last time I played that song, it just broke me, and I wept and wept and wept. I thought, How could I ever think that God's plans for my life were not the very best plans? It was a beautiful picture.
Scripture talks about godly sorrow, and that’s what I was experiencing—godly sorrow. I had not had an affair, but I was surely tempted. And at that moment in the car, I was broken before God, feeling his love and grace and forgiveness. I was able to start fresh. After that, I ended up attending a Bible study called, “How to be the Wife of a Happy Husband.” (Can you imagine how many ways our culture would cancel that today?) But it was amazing, and I learned how to love my husband and build him up. Today, we have the most beautiful marriage, and that moment in the car with God was key.
My last recommended resource would be the YouVersion Bible App, especially the functionality where you can choose a verse from Scripture; create an image with fonts, colors, and other effects; and then share the verse on Instagram. It is so powerful because I will post things about my books and I'll give my own inspiration to readers—I love them, care for them, and I care what they're seeing. And occasionally on my stories or in my post, I will give a glimpse into how I feel about how things are going on today. I have particular views, but I don't want to be known as a political person, and I certainly don't want to be divisive. I want to be known for telling people about Jesus and leading them to him. But occasionally, I do have those moments when I share something that I think is important for people to know. Every time I do, I always surround it with beautifully done YouVersion memes that include Scripture. People reach out to me and say, “We love that you were being brave and sharing your views, but we mostly thank you so much for sharing those verses.” That's a really big thing right now.
We all have things we cling to to survive (or thrive) in tough times. Name one resource you’ve found indispensable in this current season—and tell us what it's done for you.
It is an app called Bible Memory Verses. I always tell myself, even if I'm stuck in an elevator—thankfully that hasn't happened—I can go in here and focus on memorizing Scripture. It is the coolest app. It has hundreds of verses people like to memorize in case you are not sure where to start, or you can add your own. It has your favorites, your memorized verses, your targets recorded, and so on. It also allows you to go in and delete. You can hit a button and half the words will disappear. So it's a very great visual memorization tool.
I don't think we put enough focus on how important it is to hide the Word in our hearts. We only operate out of what's in our hearts because out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. So if we hide his Word in our hearts, we are no longer operating in the flesh. We know that the mind of the flesh is death and the mind of the Spirit is life and peace. So if you want life and peace in the middle of these divisive, crazy, and scary times, memorize Scripture. It changes everything.
QUESTION #8: dream
God is continually stirring new things in each of us. So give us the scoop! What’s beginning to stir in you but not yet fully awakened? What can we expect from you in the future?
Well, he is always stirring things in my spirit. I gave you a little glimpse of this earlier, but screenwriting is a big deal. I also have two more novels coming out next year, one of which is The Baxters. It's a prequel that will set up all of the stories of the Baxters, so it will be the new Book 1. And next year, The Baxters will also show up on television. The deal hasn't closed yet, but it's looking like it will next year, and then that will have access to air on Prime. So that's going to be exciting. I get to edit those scripts, so I can stand by them, and I'm excited about that.
Then there will be two other television series debuting next year. Angels Walking: A Novel is a trilogy I wrote a few years ago, and A Thousand Tomorrows is a standalone book I wrote two years ago as well. Both of those books are going to be the subject of separate television series debuting next year. I'm so excited about that. But probably the thing that makes me most excited is I get to write these latter two series with my son, Tyler. He's an amazing screenwriter. We wrote Maggie's Christmas Miracle, which was on Hallmark a couple of years ago.
It's a passion project for me because it's visual and I know it's going to reach so many more people. There aren’t a lot of great things for us to watch on television or any of the streaming services. There's a lot of very concerning things that are out there, so I’m proud to provide something excellent.
On that point, it's a thrill to me to switch over to television. It’s not that common for authors who write fiction to switch over and write screenplays. Most of the time, people assume you can’t do that because they're very different forms of writing. So it's been a challenge, and I love that as well. And overall, it was really fun. Just last week, we heard from one of the studio heads. He had read the first three episodes we had turned in, and he loved them. When I heard that, I thought, We're going to get to do this—I'm a screenwriter, and it's just so exciting. So I would say people can expect a lot more screenwriting from me.
Have you ever found yourself at the edge of a mistake wondering, “How on earth did I get here?” If you recall, that’s where Karen found herself in the early years of her marriage (see Question 7). Her spiritual enemy found a weak spot and tried to exploit it, tempting her with an affair.
By God’s grace, though, Karen turned away from that potential mistake. She chose to wrestle with Jesus until her heart was soft enough to let him into her marriage. And she let him teach her a new and better way to live.
What if we followed Karen’s example when we were tempted to make a wrong choice? What if we chose to wrestle with Jesus until he broke through the hardness in our hearts?
What if turned around from the edge of that mistake—and fell straight into the arms of our loving Father?
Karen Kingsbury is a #1 New York Times and USA Today bestselling novelist with more than 25 million copies of her award-winning books in print. Her latest 12 novels have appeared at the top of bestseller lists, several of her novels are becoming major motion pictures with Hallmark Films, and her Baxter Family books are being developed into a TV series slated for a major network. A former journalist, Karen is also an adjunct professor of writing at Liberty University. She and her husband, Don, live in Tennessee. Learn more at KarenKingsbury.com.
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