JUSTIN CAMP

4 min read ⭑

Jennifer and I lost Fulton to cancer a few weeks ago. Fulty, our sweet rescue dog, was a treasured member of our family for 13 years. His life spanned our kids’ formative, growing-up years. In dog years, he was 91 — so he lived a long life and was showered with an embarrassing amount of love. Still, there were lots of tears in our home.

This season was not the first time cancer struck the poor guy. Jenn took him to our local vet when he was six years old because he had been sluggish. There, she was told he had hemangiosarcoma — an aggressive and malignant cancer that attacks dogs’ blood vessels. It causes internal bleeding, which was why he was so lethargic.

Fulton’s vets removed the tumor and stopped the bleeding but told us the odds of his recovery were somewhere between minimal and zero. The survival rate for hemangiosarcoma is quite poor. In fact, they gave Fulton only days to live, weeks if we were lucky. So, we started gentle treatment, but we all began saying goodbye, too.

That particular season seven years ago was a busy one for the Camp family. It was before COVID-19 had struck, and we had a full schedule; it was a rich and hectic time. At one point, feeling like we’d perhaps gotten too rutted in our work, travel and family routines, I remember sensing the Holy Spirit inviting us to pray. You see, we were in execution-only mode. We were getting things done, but we’d stopped dreaming about the future. Too busy to take the time, we had kind of stopped dreaming with God and praying big.

So, we invited our kids into a special family prayer time — something we rarely did, actually — and gathered in the small front room of our small home. We handed out notecards and encouraged everyone to write down three “impossible” prayers: things we hoped would come to pass but which felt too big to even pray for. The only other criterion we suggested was that they should be things likely to please God’s heart. So, we took a few quiet moments to plumb the depths of our own hearts, the places where true desire lives, and we each wrote down three items.

I’m embarrassed that I don’t remember what I prayed for that day. I can’t actually remember what anyone prayed for except for our middle son, Oliver. I remember his prayer only because I happened to come across his notecard a few weeks ago, right before we put Fulton to sleep. The first item on Ollie’s list was that we might return to Africa: we’d gone on a short-term mission trip to Kenya the year prior, and the kids longed to reconnect with the children they had befriended. The third one was personal to Oliver, but the second item was that Fulton would recover fully.

When I saw that long-forgotten notecard, I sensed two things. First, it felt like God was reminding me of Fulton’s first diagnosis. It felt like he led me to find the card right before we got his second diagnosis: that the cancer had returned. It felt like he wanted me to know what he’d done — how he’d loved so deeply the hearts of my wife and children during those seven additional and unexpected years with our old guy.

And second, it felt like God was telling me he’d protected Fulton … because Oliver had asked him to. And I have to be honest right here. There’s a ton of mystery around God and healing and miracles. Anyone in healing ministry will tell you that God heals some people before they die on earth and others only after. My mom was not healed before she passed. She died of leukemia when I was 21. But I think Fulton might have been. I think my precious boy’s impossible prayer might have put him into the former category. I don’t know for sure, of course, but even Fulton’s vets will say something very unusual and extremely unlikely happened.

My mind has been on Oliver’s prayer lately. It was especially so when Jenn and I attended a retreat in the mountains of Idaho last week. You see, the man hosting us caught me off guard. He told stories about his life — of fleeing Afghanistan, coming to America as a child refugee, playing linebacker at Fresno State, building a career as a mixed martial arts coach, coaching fighters to championships and building a lodge focused on maximizing human performance and well-being.

He talked so easily about his prayers and dreams — and this guy dreams big. He currently has some audacious plans for how he wants to serve people with the lodge he’s built. And that got me thinking about Oliver. I suspect there’s a tight connection between dreaming big and seeing (some of those) dreams come to fruition. I’m inclined to believe there’s a close correlation between praying impossible prayers and having incredible stories of supernatural occurrences in the pursuit of our Godly dreams.

Please hear me: there’s a ton of mystery around this stuff. God is God, and I am not. But God is also my father. And as a dad myself, there are many things I’ve done for my kids because they asked me to. I’ve not done everything they asked, of course. They are kids, and that would be not very smart on my part. But I’ve done many, many things at their request. And I think it might be the same with God — when we ask.

So, here’s my commitment to you, myself and God: I’m going to start dreaming and praying big again. I’m going to pray for the impossible. I’m going to start right now.

Question to Ponder

“Only God can move mountains, but faith and prayer move God.” —E.M. Bounds

Imagine you are walking the streets near your home. Imagine that you are walking with Jesus and, at some point in your conversation, he tells you that you can ask him for anything. What would you ask? What do you hope for that’s both impossibly big and, based on what you know of his heart, would please him to do?

Okay, now, back to real life. Remember: Jesus is here right now and wants to know your heart. So, in this moment, ask him. Ask for whatever is on your heart.

Justin Camp is the editor-in-chief of Rapt Interviews. He also created the WiRE for Men devotional and wrote the WiRE Series for Men. His writing has also been featured and seen on Charisma, Moody Radio, Focus on the Family, GOD TV, The Christian Post, Crosswalk, Belief.net, LifeWay Men and other media outlets.

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