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When Dieula Previlon was just a baby, her visionary parents immigrated from Haiti to the United States, where she joined them 10 years later. Their act of love and self-sacrifice laid a foundation for Dieula’s current career and ministry as a therapist, pastor and founder/executive director of ElevateHer International, a nonprofit that helps women heal from trauma and thrive. She recently added “author” to her list of titles after compiling 20 years’ worth of personal and professional wisdom in her new book, “Does God See Me?” Today, she’s getting honest about grief and loss, the fear of rejection, spiritual disciplines that calm her anxiety and Womanist theologians who have inspired her.

QUESTION #1: ACQUAINT

There’s much more to food than palate and preference. How does a go-to meal at your favorite hometown restaurant reveal the true you behind the web bio?

I was born in Haiti in a town along the ocean called Gonaives. My hometown is known for this vegetable called lalo. I recently learned the English name for lalo, which is “jute.” Lalo is the consistency of spinach, made as a vegetable stew mixed with beef, shrimp and crabs.

It’s not a meal you can make for just one person. Lalo is meant for sharing. In fact, I remember my grandmother making lalo for that very purpose — to share with our less fortunate neighbors. Around lalo, you can hear the sound of the community. There’s always chatter, laughter, play and joy. Lalo is not just a meal that feeds the body but also the soul. It’s a filling meal to be eaten with rice and/or sos pwa blan (white bean sauce). (I don’t always care for the white bean sauce. The lalo and white rice do it for me.)

This meal has never been just a meal but an experience. It’s a meal that has connected me to ancestors I never met and the present community that carries their legacy of cooking the same meal with the community in mind. Whenever I eat this meal, it transports me to my grandmother’s community in Haiti. I can almost hear the sound of children playing in the distance, the men telling jokes, the women sitting on their stools serving the meal to all who were present. This meal represents many of my values — my love for food, community and my heart for service.

QUESTION #2: REVEAL

We’ve all got quirky proclivities and out-of-the-way interests. So what are yours? What so-called “nonspiritual” activity (or activities) do you love engaging in, which also help you find essential spiritual renewal?

My parents are first-generation Haitian immigrants. When they left for the U.S., I was just a baby. I didn’t officially meet my parents until I was about 10, which means there are many experiences I didn’t get to have with my parents, especially my mom. Things like getting my hair braided by my mother are foreign to me.

Perhaps this is why I’ve developed a love for braiding hair. I’m not a professional hair braider, but I love learning new styles, and over the years, I’ve had the pleasure of practicing on my sons, nieces, nephews and whoever else wants their hair done. I was surprised by how much I enjoyed braiding hair. Hair braiding is an intimate connection between me and the person whose hair I’m doing on that day. In this space and time, we’re connecting. I’ve learned deeper details about each person whose hair I’ve braided. For example, my mother-in-law’s grief over a child she lost more than 50 years ago. I listened to her as I braided, and in that exchange, I sensed the presence of God holding her as she continued to grieve her child. This simple, seemingly mundane activity has taught me that if we slow down, pay attention and listen, we will meet the presence of God. Hair braiding continues to be an activity that allows me to connect with myself, others and God.

QUESTION #3: CONFESS

Every superhero has a weakness. Every human, too. We’re just good at faking it. But who are we kidding? We’re broken and in this thing together. So what’s your kryptonite, and how do you hide it?

Fear of rejection and abandonment, which leads to unhealthy behaviors of people-pleasing, is the cluster that constitutes my kryptonite. In my profession as a therapist, I often meet people who are unaware of the reasons for their behaviors, but that’s not the case for me. I’ve always known of this fear; it’s always been a presence in my life. My parents’ brutal migration history plays a major role in this fear.

On most days, I function well. However, I vacillate between having all the friends and isolating in fear of being too needy so that I won’t be let down or disappointed. On most days, I can coach myself not to care what people think, to use boundaries, or to rationalize the need for conflict and confront problems head-on. However, the mental exercise required to get to the place of health is often exhausting, so I either defer or stay in isolation. There are times when I’ll make great strides and feel the love of God carrying me through one difficult conversation after another, and then there are times I’m crying out to God, asking why being human is often so difficult. I’m definitely a work in progress.

QUESTION #4: FIRE UP

Tell us about your toil. How are you investing your professional time right now? What’s your current obsession? And why should it be ours?

I’ve been working in the field as a therapist, coach and minister — specifically in the area of empowering women to heal from trauma, flourish and thrive — for the past 20 years. In this season, I’ve compiled wisdom gained from working with women as well as professionally into a book, “Does God See Me?”

Let’s say this book is my baby. It’s the book I wish I read in my 20s, navigating healing from trauma. It’s a traveling companion as you go through your healing journey. I began working on the book in 2019, right before the COVID pandemic, and that holiday season, we experienced two tragic losses in our family. Those losses caused me to express myself more profoundly and authentically. The book asks the question that clients, women around the world and my sister Hagar in Genesis 16 have all asked. It gives women permission to wrestle, struggle and have real human emotions when confronted with pain and suffering.

Yes, there’s a lot of discussion about trauma in the book, but it’s all necessary in order to lead us to the hope and joy that are possible even when we’ve suffered. This project makes me rejoice because, as a therapist, I know the cost of therapy, and there’s a large number of women who will never be able to access formal counseling. This book is for my sisters, mothers, aunties, cousins and friends in Haiti who don’t have access to traditional counseling. They now get to learn how to enter the healing journey without the limitation of money.

QUESTION #5: BOOST

Cashiers, CEOs, contractors, or customer service reps, we all need grace flowing into us and back out into the world. How does the Holy Spirit invigorate your work? And how do you know it’s God when it happens?

I have a strong sense of the Holy Spirit’s movement in my life. When I’m working on something or my spirit is processing something, the Holy Spirit’s movement will manifest in dreams. The dreams are often a sign of caution telling me to pay attention. And not just pay attention but be on high alert because God’s about to do something and I don’t want to miss it.

Years ago, right before I was ordained in my denomination, I was unsettled and unsure of the next steps to take in life. I had left a church position, and the season was absolutely dry. I loved the church, but I was burned out and tired. My husband and I found a small neighboring church, and we just began attending with our three sons. Not long after I began attending, I had a dream that I still remember today. I was struck by what seemed to be a bolt of lightning in the back of the church where I normally sat, and then I saw myself holding a communion tray and passing out communion. At that time, I was just a visitor, so it struck me as odd that I’d have that dream. I believe this was the Holy Spirit preparing me for the next seven years of my life. I founded a nonprofit ministering to women around the world, became ordained through that church’s organization, and started my preaching ministry after that dream. The journal entry of that dream is still a great reminder for me to pay attention and be sensitive to the movement of the Holy Spirit in my life.

QUESTION #6: inspire

Scripture and tradition beckon us into the rich and varied habits that open our hearts to the presence of God. So let us in. Which spiritual practice is working best for you right now?

I’ve been through many seasons with God, and each of those seasons required a different way of connecting with him. There was a time when the practice that connected me to God the most was listening to worship music at the highest volume possible. However, now I’m in a tender place with God where quiet, solitude, nature walks, people watching and paying attention to the movement of God are what sets me up to hear from him. In those tender moments, connecting to God isn’t just an activity but an experience that mustn’t be rushed. Through this daily discipline, my thoughts are calm, my needs are few and I feel steady and grounded. Through this posture, I can feel love, joy and peace surrounding me.

I’m often reminded how spiritual disciplines aren’t just about connecting our minds to God. Rather, every part of our being is integrated to benefit from having a discipline that connects us to God. I wear many hats in my professional career, which often causes me to deal with anxiety. Practicing spiritual discipline calms my fears and worries. It settles me so I can go about my work with confidence.

QUESTION #7: FOCUS

Looking backward, considering the full sweep of your unique faith journey and all you encountered along the way, what top three resources stand out to you? What changed the game and changed your heart? What radically altered your life? What changed your reality?

After years of going to seminary, I realized I needed more for a fuller practical theology as it related to my lived experiences as a Black woman. As a minister, there were still many places where it was forbidden for me to preach. So I began looking into Womanist theologians like Wilda Gafney, author of “Womanist Midrash;” Dr. Angela Parker, author of “If God Still Breathes, Why Can’t I?” and Rachel Held Evans, who wasn’t a womanist theologian but wrote “The Year of Biblical Womanhood.” These all led me on the path to affirm my calling as a Black woman minister. Their books made me think more critically and ask better questions.

We all have things we cling to to survive (or even thrive) in tough times — times like these! Name one resource you’re savoring and/or finding indispensable in this current season, and tell us what it’s doing for you.

The book of Ruth is currently an anchor for me. It gives me hope, reminding me that God is in the details. Although pain and suffering will often occur, destroying a sense of self, trust and at times, hope, God continues to be in our midst, working it all out. The book of Ruth reminds me that God is for us, and it’s a source of hope for me in the present.

QUESTION #8: dream

God is continually stirring new things in each of us. So give us the scoop! What’s beginning to stir in you but not yet fully awakened? What can we expect from you in the future?

My coach recently asked me about my B.H.A.G. (my big, hairy, audacious goal), so I’ve had some practice sharing this. Honestly, when I share what I’m working on, friends reading this won’t be surprised. In fact, they’ll affirm it. My husband and I have a vision to do ministry in Haiti on a semi-full-time basis. We go back frequently to train women on trauma, host sankofa trips (learn more here) and create opportunities for people to thrive and flourish through our nonprofit, ElevateHer International. We’re daily strategizing to move toward that path.

I’m also creating a group coaching program for women who have gone through trauma. The cohort will help women start over again after they’ve experienced loss and defeat. Women often feel isolated and alone when trying to start living again, and this program will allow women to help each other along the way with me as a guide. We’re excited about what the future holds.

In this fallen world of ours, trauma is rampant. And for women, it can look even more sinister. Consider:

• More than half of women with mental health issues have suffered violence or abuse.

• 91% of victims of sexual violence are women.

• 94% of female victims of sexual violence will experience PTSD symptoms within two weeks of the incident.

Healing from trauma doesn’t happen by accident — or by pretending it never happened. It takes honesty, vulnerability, hard work, time and a safe and loving community. This week, let’s pray for those who are hurting and for ministries, like Dieula’s, that are helping women heal.

Dieula Previlon is a Haiti native and the founder and executive director of ElevateHer International Ministries with a vision to empower women to heal from trauma and thrive. She is a counselor and life coach in private practice and an ordained minister. She’s also the author of a new release in May, Does God See Me? Her professional career in counseling, coaching, pastoring and international ministry spans over 20 years. The proud mother of three adult sons, Dieula lives in New Jersey with her husband of 26 years, Fresnel. Learn more at dieulaprevilon.com.

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