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QUESTION #1: ACQUAINT

There’s much more to food than palate and preference. How does a go-to meal at your favorite hometown restaurant reveal the true you behind the web bio?

I believe I live in the greatest city in the world. But like many New York City natives, there’s much I haven’t experienced in this enormous city. I think the endless options have overwhelmed me and have led me to the — gasp — suburbs of New York for my go-to meal. (I feel great shame writing these words.)

For almost 20 years, I have frequented a place called Grand Lux Cafe. Why? Well, for one, I can find parking fairly easily near the restaurant (a big deal for New Yorkers).

More substantially, the pasta — especially the dish called “Sunday Night Pasta” — is my go-to meal. I’ve had Sunday Night Pasta every day of the week. And when a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon is added, I’m in my happy place. My wife, Rosie, and I have been eating at this place since we started dating. And our children can’t get enough of it either.

QUESTION #2: REVEAL

We’ve all got quirky proclivities and out-of-the-way interests. So what are yours? What so-called “nonspiritual” activities do you love and help you find spiritual renewal?

As a pastor, I know I’m supposed to say “reading,” but that may be too on the nose. I certainly love reading all kinds of books and find great life in doing so, but a few other activities in recent years have added joy and delight to me.

The first is YouTube reaction videos. (Talk about “nonspiritual”!) It’s strange to write this, but I have found a new community among people who make a living reacting to the shows and movies I love. I love all things Marvel and Star Wars, so when I discovered in 2020 that I could watch people react to the stuff I watch, I found a unique space for connection. When they laugh at the things I laugh at or cry at the moments that make me shed a tear, I feel connected.

This connection has led me to reach out to a few YouTubers, asking if they’d like to hang out, but no one has taken me up on that yet. I guess they will remain my imaginary best friends.

Another activity has been sitting by the fireplace in our home. After a long day, I’ll light a fire and take in the crackles and warmth. Sometimes I sit for 30 minutes contemplating my life before God. When I do, a favorite desert father story comes to mind: One day, Abba Lot went to Abba Joseph and said to him, “Abba, I fast a little, I pray and meditate, I live in peace and as far as I can, I purify my thoughts. What else can I do?” Then the old man stood up and stretched his hands towards heaven. His fingers became like 10 lamps of fire and he said to him, “If you will, you can become all flame.”

QUESTION #3: CONFESS

Every superhero has a weakness. Every human, too. We’re just good at faking it. But who are we kidding? We’re broken and in this thing together. So what’s your kryptonite and how do you hide it?

What are my weaknesses? My kryptonite? Well, how much time do you have? I find myself frequently struggling with a few things in my life — comparison, perfectionism and fear of failure, to name a few. But I’ll focus specifically on comparison.

One of my regular prayers is asking God to help me live beyond comparison — in ministry and the rest of my life. This is a regular prayer because it’s a regular struggle. For example, in 2022 my wife and I purchased our first home. We absolutely love our home. It has a spacious-coziness feel. But one day, I went on Instagram and saw a friend’s home. And boy, was it a nice house! Something shifted inside of me and I started to have second thoughts about my home — and not just my home but my books, too.

I’m so grateful that my first two books have been widely received. But there’s always someone else in my vocational world whose books will do better than mine. It’s remarkable how self-loathing I can be without anyone knowing. And it’s sad that I can easily go down a road of scarcity thinking. Oh, and don’t forget my tendency to compare my church to others. Or my car. Or my looks. Or my social media following. Or my spiritual gifts. The list goes on.

In many ways, this struggle reminds me of my deep need for the mercy and love of God.

QUESTION #4: FIRE UP

Tell us about your toil. How are you investing your professional time right now? What’s your obsession? And why should it be ours?

In many ways, I have one objective with my work: to reimagine spiritual formation for emerging generations. When I wrote my first book, “The Deeply Formed Life,” I had my Queens congregation in mind. I wanted them to integrate the particular values that have marked our church for many years.

But as I neared the end of that project, I realized that this was more than a book for a local church, but a message for the larger Church. I want to help people see the large, often polarizing issues we face through a gospel and formation lens. Whether we are talking about race, sexuality, politics or prayer, all of these things require a deep and expansive vision of spirituality.

My second book, “Good and Beautiful and Kind,” is in that same vein. I’m passionate about naming the sources of our fragmentation in a way that goes deeper than a pointed finger. I don’t want to just name the problems. Instead, I want to offer a creative path toward interior, interpersonal and institutional wholeness.

I’m finding that this reimagination of spiritual formation is needed if we are going to reach people in a world where Christianity is losing credibility. So that’s what keeps me coming back to my computer and toiling over frameworks, formational practices and faith.

QUESTION #5: BOOST

Cashiers, CEOs, contractors or customer service reps, we all need grace flowing into us and back out into the world. How does the Holy Spirit invigorate your work? And how do you know it’s God when it happens?

Silence. Silence is where my inspiration is primarily found. My approach to prayer is quite simple. I sit comfortably with my hands open and placed on my lap. I slowly pray, “Jesus, here I am” for 10, 15 or 20 minutes. Out of that place, I create.

In this stillness, my soul is centered and ready to receive. For someone like me who is easily distracted and often overwhelmed by all the things I need to get done, silent prayer is a purifying act. It reminds me that the work I do is holy and requires deep, interior space to fully realize its significance.

QUESTION #6: inspire

Scripture and tradition beckon us into the rich and varied actions that open our hearts to the presence of God. So spill it, which spiritual practice is workin’ best for you right now?

There are a few practices that open my heart to the presence of God. I’ve already mentioned silence as one of them. Sabbath is another. My wife and I have practiced weekly Sabbath for nearly 15 years. But there’s another that comes to mind: praying through my feelings and reactions.

I know what it’s like to avoid myself. For years, I had a spiritual gift (or better yet, spiritual gap) in avoiding sadness, anger and anxiety. There is so much revelation to be found in our reactions, but those parts of my life were closed off to God. I’ve learned, however, that some of the work of the soul is in curious and compassionate self-confrontation. I’ve found that journaling my anger, sadness and fear has exposed the deeper lies, assumptions and false narratives I’ve had about God and myself. When I make space to prayerfully process these difficult emotions, I find myself ushered into a greater awareness of God’s presence and grace.

QUESTION #7: FOCUS

Our email subscribers get free ebooks featuring our favorite resources — lots of things that have truly impacted our faith lives. But you know about some really great stuff, too. What are three resources that have impacted you?

1. I have read just about every one of Henri Nouwen’s books. But I’ve come back to “Return of the Prodigal Son” many times as it reminds me of the love of God in ways that my soul needs to hear.

2. I just love the Bible Project. I have appreciated the way the team takes complicated ideas and makes them accessible for the everyday person who is looking to learn more about holy Scripture.

3. I’ve really appreciated the He Reads Truth and She Reads Truth team. Their commitment to training and inspiring people to read Scripture daily is much needed and so well done.

We all have things we cling to to survive (or thrive) in tough times. Name one resource you’ve found indispensable in this current season — and tell us what it’s done for you.

Every day I use the Centering Prayer app. It’s simple to use and has some nice-sounding chimes. Plus, it grounds me in my need to be still before God amid the unrelenting pressures of life.

QUESTION #8: dream

God is continually stirring new things in each of us. So give us the scoop! What’s beginning to stir in you but not yet fully awakened? What can we expect from you in the future?

One of the things I’m regularly thinking about is resourcing people to cultivate a deep life with God. I’m thinking about podcasts, video curricula and trainings to help people grow in formation practices and preaching. I’ve experimented a bit with training preachers over the years and have sensed a deeper desire to train “deeply formed preachers.”

At New Life Fellowship (the church I pastor) we have started a School of Formation. We are in our second year and have seen some remarkable fruit so far. I’m hoping to further develop this program for pastors and leaders around the country.

All of this is connected to my writing endeavors. I’m currently working on a book called “Narrow Path, Spacious Life.” It’s an exploration of the Sermon on the Mount. There might not be a more important section in all of the Bible than what Matthew and Luke record around Jesus’ kingdom manifesto. I’m looking forward to taking his words and applying them to our generation.

All of this feels overwhelming, and part of me just wants to play video games, but I think that as I pace myself, something helpful might emerge.

Earlier in our interview, Rich described his kryptonite as comparison. The temptation to compare his home, his life, his ministry, and more can be a difficult battle. Rich isn’t alone. If we’re being completely honest with ourselves, most of us can say we’ve dealt with the same struggle.

The problem with comparison is that it robs us of the joy of simply walking in the calling God has for us. It also puts our focus on ourselves and distracts us from what’s most important in life — Jesus himself.

Paul saw the danger of this trap and said: “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ” (Galatians 1:10, ESV).

Rich’s and Paul’s humble insights challenge us to search our hearts and ask: “Where do I compare myself to others? Where do I strive to win others’ approval with my own efforts and abilities? And how can I shift my focus back onto Jesus where it belongs?”

Rich Villodas is the Brooklyn-born lead pastor of New Life Fellowship, a large, multiracial church with more than 75 countries represented in Elmhurst, Queens. He is also a key speaker for Emotionally Healthy Discipleship — a movement that has touched hundreds of thousands of people. Rich graduated with a bachelor’s degree in pastoral ministry and theology from Nyack College and went on to complete his Master of Divinity from Alliance Theological Seminary. His award-winning book, The Deeply Formed Life, was released in September 2020, followed by his second book, Good and Beautiful and Kind, in July 2022. He and his wife, Rosie, have two beautiful children and reside in New York City.

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