Jim Daly

Focus on the Family

A weekly advice column written by Jim Daly, Focus on the Family draws upon a deep, abiding Christian faith to help heal broken marriages and troubled families, built on a foundation of “the power of hope and second chances.” Focus on the Family’s sound, Christian guidance gives readers helpful answers on how to navigate a steady path in an uncertain world.

Q: My cousin and his wife recently adopted a child. My husband and I had never thought about doing that, but now we're curious. I've heard you're a big proponent of adoption — why?

Jim: Let me do a little name-dropping: Babe Ruth. Eleanor Roosevelt. Nelson Mandela. Nancy Reagan. President Gerald Ford. Dave Thomas (the founder of Wendy's). Steve Jobs. These successful people all share the distinct privilege of having been adopted as children.

I spent a year in the foster care system myself, so I know what it means to be an orphan. I also know the stability and nurturing a loving adoptive family can provide a child.

That's why I never forget that there are thousands of children across the country — and around the world — who need a family to bring them into their home, to love them, and to show them their worth. No doubt, adopting a child is a serious responsibility. But the rewards are priceless. And it can make all the difference in the life of a young person in need — literally changing their entire future.

Admittedly, not every adopted child will grow up to be a head of state like Nelson Mandela or a groundbreaking entrepreneur like Steve Jobs. But we can't overstate the lifelong impact that growing up in a loving adoptive family can have on a child. Everyone needs love, a sense of worth, and the security of knowing that we belong. Without the gift of adoption, many children will grow up without those things.

For more information about helping an adopted child to thrive — or coming alongside a family that has adopted — visit FocusOnTheFamily.com. And if you'd like to read some inspiring stories, I highly recommend a book by my friend Paul Batura titled "Chosen for Greatness: How Adoption Changes the World."

Q: How can I help my young kids learn to manage their emotions?

Dr. Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting & Youth: Whether in humor or in desperation, I hear this question a lot! Children begin learning self-awareness and self-control between the ages of 3 and 5. Your adaptability and intentionality help children navigate the colorful and challenging world of emotions from an early age. Here are six things you can teach your kids to do:

1. Notice Emotions. Have your kids stop to take inventory of their feelings — positive, negative, good or bad. Then, have them try to explain what they feel at that moment.

2. Name Emotions. Use tools like an emotions wheel for accuracy. Labeling emotions correctly results in being clearly understood and known.

3. Explore "Thought Bubbles." Write out some of the thoughts that caused specific emotions to pop out. Draw out separate "thought bubbles" for each so they see they have several different thoughts to choose from. As they get older, ask how (and why) they chose the thought bubble they did.

4. Explore Interpretations. Teach empathy by helping your child consider interpretations beyond their own experience. For example, they could say, "Maybe the kid who was rude was having a bad day and not intentionally wanting to be mean to me."

5. Consider the Impact. Discuss how emotions influence actions and affect others. Celebrate when your child expresses negative emotions respectfully or brings positive emotions as a gift to others.

6. Decide Which They Want More — and Why? Together, explore what leads to the desired emotions. Make a menu of thoughts, relationships, and experiences that create those positive emotions for your child and show them how others may also enjoy those things.

As you listen to your kids share, build trust by validating the experience of their emotions, perceptions and relationships. For more practical age and stage parenting tips, visit www.MyKidsAge.com.

Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author and president of Focus on the Family. He is also the host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at jimdalyblog.focusonthefamily.com or at Facebook.com/JimDalyFocus.

Distributed by Andrews McMeel Syndication. Copyright © 2024. Used with permission.

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