12 min read ⭑

QUESTION #1: ACQUAINT

There’s much more to food than palate and preference. How does a go-to meal at your favorite hometown restaurant reveal the true you behind the web bio?

Clam chowder, lobster bakes and cold New England days are distant memories that speak to my childhood but look nothing like where I live today. Nowadays, you can often find me in our not-so-small Southern town of Franklin, Tennessee, enjoying a delicious meal and specialty cocktails with live music in the background.

My husband, Stephen, and I love to treat guests to our favorite restaurant spot nestled between boutiques on a bustling street in our quaint town of Franklin called Gray’s on Main. We love to get there just before the dinner crowd and order fried pimento cheese and fancy drinks. We’ve experienced so much laughter and so many conversations over steaks, salmon and yummy pasta dishes. The atmosphere is warm and welcoming, and the staff is so attentive. I love the food, friendships and most of all, the warmth of feeling connected and content within the community we live in and the relationships we have.

QUESTION #2: REVEAL

We’ve all got quirky proclivities and out-of-the-way interests. So what are yours? What so-called “nonspiritual” activities do you love and help you find spiritual renewal?

Road-tripping 12 hours every summer for the past 24 years brings great anticipation and joy to my soul. Over the years, the cars have changed, the suitcases have grown in number and the destinations have adjusted, but the feeling of anticipation and joy has remained the same. Over the last 11 years, we’ve packed our vehicle with suitcases, food, beach games, tents and chairs. Our four children have climbed into the vehicle with great expectation, knowing they will get our undivided attention for the next two weeks.

Between the road trip and the condo on the beach, our family looks forward to the connection and rest we all so badly need. I love the stories the kids share and how the landscape changes as we drive to our destination. It’s in those small moments that I see the beauty in creation.

But the true magic of the trip for me is the beach. The beach itself is a place of refuge and reprieve for me. The roar of the ocean and the pulling of the tide always leave me speechless. I crave the heat of the sun on my body. It feels like a weighted blanket that calms my anxiety and clears my racing thoughts. I feel fully alive and free at the beach with my family surrounding me.

QUESTION #3: CONFESS

Every superhero has a weakness. Every human, too. We’re just good at faking it. But who are we kidding? We’re broken and in this thing together. So what’s your kryptonite and how do you hide it?

From a young age, I believed that it was my job to make sure everyone was okay. If they were okay, I would figure out how to be okay. This pattern of thinking became so ingrained in me that I wasn’t even aware of it. I would make sure my older sister had her lunch packed, and I made sure my mom had what she needed because if they were okay, I would be okay, too.

I had no idea how afraid I had been growing up until a few years ago. I’ve been on a journey of self-awareness and healing, and I’ve discovered I had been living the past 40 years with a deep sense of fear of abandonment. You see, my parents divorced when I was a small child, and my sister and I had to figure out a lot of life on our own. Our mother was working and putting herself through school to ensure a better life for herself and us.

I’m so grateful that my mom did this for us, but it left me with some baggage. I wanted connection, and I wanted to know that I was safe and secure, so I figured out how to get these needs met by doing for others. This pattern of doing for others and making sure that the people close to me were taken care of caused me to lose myself through the years. I got married at 21, became a mom at 24 and proceeded to have three more children over the next several years.

Because of my fear of abandonment and my need to feel safe and secure, I made it my mission to make my husband happy and my kids content. It wasn’t until a week-long counseling intensive several years ago that I realized I had lost myself and my voice, and I didn’t feel like it was okay to take up space. I had tried to be what was expected of me, but in the process, I had lost myself.

Over the past few years, I’ve worked on finding myself and my voice again. I’ve intentionally invested in myself in ways that previously felt self-indulgent or even extravagant. I’ve begun to realize that my voice matters and that it’s okay for me to take up space. I’m not for everyone, and that’s okay. Finding my people and learning my worth has been a journey that I’m so happy to be on. I no longer have to make sure the people around me are okay, so I can then figure out how to be okay. Instead, I know the people around me are okay because we are deeply connected and we have safe and secure relationships.

Using your voice and taking up space is scary for many of us. Small steps toward self-awareness and self-acceptance are key components to finding yourself again in the midst of your own story and personal journey.

QUESTION #4: FIRE UP

Tell us about your toil. How are you investing your professional time right now? What’s your obsession? And why should it be ours?

Several years ago, I took my twins, that were around two at the time on a walk with my girlfriend and her daughter. I was excited to see my friend, and the girls were looking forward to being outside. Halfway through the walk, the day took a sharp turn. The twins started fighting each other and somehow navigated their way out of the straps of their stroller and slid out, running in different directions. I was overwhelmed, embarrassed and so frustrated.

By the time I got them wrangled and strapped into their car seats, I was exhausted. That evening, my girlfriend sent a message to let me know she had ordered a book for me that she thought I would enjoy. I was so excited to receive a book as a gift, and I thought perhaps it would be the latest best-selling novel. But to my surprise, when the book arrived, it was not a best-selling novel. Instead, it was a book about personalities called “The Wisdom of the Enneagram.”

I very much realized at that moment that my friend thought I needed help and that this book might do the trick. I have to say, I was not at all offended, but I was deeply curious. As I began to read the book, I felt seen and understood for the first time in my life. I didn’t want to put the book down. I was so enthralled with the clarity I was receiving about myself as I read the words on each page. It changed the trajectory of my life. It gave me language about myself that I had been trying to figure out for years. I wasn’t lost, broken or so far gone but rather disconnected and overwhelmed.

Once I began to make sense of my story and recognize my patterns of behavior, I knew others could benefit from this type of work, too. That is why, today, I am a certified Enneagram life coach as well as a certified experiential specialist. It’s my passion to help people uncover and discover who they are with the helpful tool of the Enneagram and different modalities.

My hope is that people begin to see they are more than their patterns of behavior. In my new book, The Enneagram and Your Marriage, I help couples learn about each other side by side. I help them to grow in empathy and compassion toward one another as they learn the depth of who they are. We are all human beings created for connection, and in this new book, I help couples learn how to connect through understanding and attunement. After all, don’t we all want to be seen, understood and celebrated by our partners?

QUESTION #5: BOOST

Cashiers, CEOs, contractors, or customer service reps, we all need grace flowing into us and back out into the world. How does the Holy Spirit invigorate your work? And how do you know it’s God when it happens?

When I start working with a client, I don’t know their story, hurts, patterns or wounds. I do know that they want to do the work of uncovering and discovering more about themselves. As I walk a client through Enneagram awareness for their particular personality type, I lean into discernment and the Holy Spirit. I’ve learned to trust that the Holy Spirit will reveal to me in time what areas will be most beneficial for each client.

I’ve found that when I make it a point to get away with the Lord in the stillness and silence of my office in the early morning hours, he meets me there. And this helps me to stay attuned in my sessions. I spend time wrapped up in a soft blanket, looking out my window and listening to the birds chirping because this brings peace to my soul and helps me stay grounded throughout the day.

I feel a great sense of responsibility and honor that so many people have allowed me to be part of their journey as they seek to learn more about themselves. I don’t take the conversations I have daily with my clients for granted, and I often pray for those God has entrusted me with. I’m passionate about the sessions I have with my clients being client-led. I make it a point to listen intently to them and allow the Holy Spirit to lead me toward what needs to be uncovered and discovered at that moment. I find that as I actively listen to my clients, God guides the conversation. I’ve seen huge breakthroughs and aha moments happen in people’s lives when I’m obedient and disciplined in my approach.

QUESTION #6: inspire

Scripture and tradition beckon us into the rich and varied actions that open our hearts to the presence of God. So spill it, which spiritual practice is workin’ best for you right now?

I created a space in my house that I had longed to have for years. It has big, floor-to-ceiling windows; a soft, grey, C-shaped swivel chair; a bookshelf full of all my favorite books; a small marble table with gold legs to hold my coffee; and the softest, muted animal-print blanket I could find. I love to close the black-trimmed French doors, wrap myself up in the muted animal-print blanket, and get lost in the Word of God.

In this season, I’m seeking to understand Jesus. I want to know him more. I want to understand his words and his ways. I’m drawn to the Word like a deer is to the water. I spend time not only reading my Bible but also reading the commentary and listening to podcasts that unpack the words that I’m reading. I want to understand Greek and Hebrew as well as the context of the times in which the Bible was written. I find myself seeking the truth more than feel-good theology. I want to know Jesus is the phrase that runs through my mind often, and I feel the beckoning of the Holy Spirit to get away into the sweet, safe place that I have created so I can see him, feel his presence and get lost in his goodness.

QUESTION #7: FOCUS

Our email subscribers get free ebooks featuring our favorite resources — lots of things that have truly impacted our faith lives. But you know about some really great stuff, too. What are a couple of resources that have impacted you?

Through the years, there have been several resources that have helped me draw close to the Lord. One resource that greatly impacted my life is “The Best Yes” by Lisa TerKeurst. In the season I read this book, I felt overwhelmed and alone. I was a stay-at-home pastor’s wife managing our four kids and expectations that felt more than I could bear. Reading the words in that book helped me see clearly why I felt overwhelmed and gave me practical steps to help me overcome those feelings. It’s a book I still reference often.

Another book that I bought numerous copies of and sent to family and friends is “A Lineage of Grace” by Francine Rivers. This book stirred my faith and caused me to want to read my Bible in a whole new way. I love this book because the way she writes makes the Bible stories we have heard throughout our lives come to life. This is a book I will continue re-read for the rest of my life. I love books and resources that help us make sense of ourselves and stir our faith.

We all have things we cling to to survive (or thrive) in tough times. Name one resource you’ve found indispensable in this current season — and tell us what it’s done for you.

I have been inspired and impacted by many authors, speakers, teachers and friends throughout the years, but I have to say one of my all-time favorites is Lisa Harper. She’s an author, speaker, Bible teacher and podcaster who helps me understand the Bible and encourages me in my faith journey. Her podcast, “Lisa Harper’s Back Porch Theology,” is a weekly must in my life. I feel like a learn so much truth in the one hour I spend listening to her which helps shape the person I am becoming.

I also love Tara-Leigh Cobble and her podcast, “The Bible Recap,” along with her book, “The Bible Recap.” This podcast and book study help me to intentionally read my Bible and unpack what I’m reading so I can fully understand what the Scripture means and how I can apply these truths to my life. I’m always a student, and I love to learn and grow in a lot of areas in my life. I’m also passionate about my faith and about learning how to be a better human.

Another great author, therapist and teacher is Dr. Sue Johnson. She is the founder of Emotionally Focused Therapy, also known as EFT. Through her books, Hold Me Tight and Love Sense, an online course I’m currently enrolled in, and years of going through EFT, I’ve learned and I am still learning the importance of human connection. In this season of my life, I find curiosity to be the driver around being a compassionate, caring human who is freely seeking Christ. I’m always learning and trying to stay in a posture of growth.

QUESTION #8: dream

God is continually stirring new things in each of us. So give us the scoop! What’s beginning to stir in you but not yet fully awakened? What can we expect from you in the future?

As an Enneagram Seven (the Enthusiast), I’m always dreaming about what’s next. I am over the moon with my newest book release, “The Enneagram and Your Marriage,” but I do believe there’s more to write. I’m working on growing my coaching practice by having a few life coaches join the Enneagram with JB group. This is both incredibly exciting and terrifying if I’m being honest. I want to offer support and growth to my audience, and I know that in order to serve more people, I must expand. Even typing this out, I feel incredibly vulnerable, but I believe in the vision and mission that God has placed on my heart.

Because of that, I have a few other areas of interest that I’m exploring. One is hosting Enneagram retreats, another is launching certification courses for the Enneagram, and lastly, writing another book. I find myself waking up with thoughts of the next book in my mind, so I’m working on mapping out the content and flushing out the ideas right now.

I love to dream! But even more than that, I love it when my dreams become reality. So I have to remind myself one at a time, and I need to finish what I start. This reminder helps me to slow down and set an appropriate pace as well as allows me to pray about each piece and make sure I’m staying in my lane and aligned with my purpose.

Are you a dreamer like Jackie? There’s beauty in new ideas, and it’s easy to get swept up in the excitement when a fresh one springs to mind. But as Jackie points out, we can’t stay in idea mode forever. Instead, we have to slow down, make a plan, and work.

As King Solomon wrote: “The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty” (Proverbs 21:5, NIV). And even more importantly, “Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans” (Proverbs 16:3, NIV).

So what ideas are stirring in your heart? And how can you partner with God in creating a plan to make that dream a reality?

Jackie Brewster is a certified Enneagram coach and experiential specialist as well as the author of Hearing God Speak, Enneagram Essentials and The Enneagram and Your Marriage. She lives in Franklin, Tennessee, with her husband, Stephen, and they are parents to four amazing children. Together they started a consulting company that helps people, teams and organizations overcome being overwhelmed. Jackie focuses on helping individuals, couples and groups uncover who they are and how to grow toward health through the teachings of the Enneagram and biblical truth.

Related Articles