Stasi Eldredge

Spend a few hours with author and speaker Stasi Eldredge, and you’ll encounter a fresh perspective of God’s heart you’ve likely never seen before. As the best-selling author of "Captivating," Stasi has a deep passion for helping women live as they are meant to live—at peace with themselves and with God.

That description of a close relationship with Jesus often runs contrary to what the world says. Messages from the world and even the church might pressure us to take on more than we can healthfully handle. But Stasi believes there are few things more important in life than simply knowing how loved we are. Learn how Stasi grows in that knowledge day by day, what resources are building up her faith and how she battles the temptation to run to food as her comfort in this interview.

The following is a transcript of a live interview. Responses have been edited and condensed for brevity and clarity.

QUESTION #1: ACQUAINT

There’s much more to a meal than palate and preference. How does your go-to order at your favorite hometown restaurant reveal the true you behind the web bio?

As Christmas Eve rolls around every year, I’m exhausted. Because of that, our family doesn’t have a big dinner. For years, we’ve been getting Chinese food to-go. But then our go-to Chinese place went out of business. We were so disappointed.

But, at that same time, our family’s palates were changing in the direction of Indian food. So now, my Christmas-eve favorite is Chicken Tikka Masala and Garlic Naan. What it evokes for me is the beauty of our family when we are at rest.

I love Christmases because all the work is done. The house is beautiful, lit with candles and we are filled with expectancy. We sing carols. We talk about joy. And we feast; we feast with ease. I’m not bustling around trying to make the food good or make the plates shiny. The mood is relaxed and the food is delicious.

We go to the same Indian place often now — even when it’s not Christmas Eve. We do it because of the simple fact that it’s become, for us, very much associated with rest and beauty and hope and connection with loved ones.

QUESTION #2: REVEAL

We’ve all got quirky proclivities and out-of-the-way interests, but we tend to hide them. What do you love doing that might surprise (or shock) people?

The first part of my answer won’t surprise anyone. I like movies. I like going out to the movies. The part that people don’t know about me, the part that’s a bit quirky and weird, is that I have a penchant for end-of-the-world movies. I like disaster films — things like 2012 and The Day After Tomorrow. The problem is, no one will go with me. But I go — because I love them.

And I haven’t quite figured out what weird thing this interest says about me — except that I do long for everything to be made right again. Maybe it’s just that these films portray a cleansing or a breaking. That’s a nice thought about what it could be. But another answer could be that I am just weird and like tornados.

QUESTION #3: CONFESS

Every superhero has a weakness. Every human too. We’re just good at faking it. But who are we kidding? We’re broken and in this thing together. So, what’s your kryptonite and how do you hide it?

In “The Sacred Romance,” Brent and John called these things “less wild lovers.” I wish that I could say mine was hidden, but it’s not. The place that I go, that thing I can control, that can offer me some soothing when I am feeling out of control, when I’m feeling overwhelmed, when I’m feeling terrified that I’m not going to be enough for what’s being required of me, is food. My weight is a roller coaster. When I get it under control and lose weight, I think, “I’m done. Yay! I’m finished. I finally found it, and I figured it out. And God’s come through for me in deep ways. Woohoo!”

But so far, in my life, I haven’t been able to hold the ground. I think the longest I’ve held it is a year. So I’m currently at a weight that I never thought I would see again. And it’s not just COVID-19 weight. It is a stranglehold that the enemy uses to keep me from operating in the fullness of who I’m meant to be. It’s an open door to shame and diminishment. And so it requires a ton of faith and diving deep into Jesus to stand firm against that and still show up and offer myself — to offer what I have to give to people, despite feeling embarrassed about how I look.

QUESTION #4: FIRE UP

Tell us about your toil. How are you investing your professional time right now? What’s your obsession? And why should it be ours?

I need to talk about “Captivating.” We are re-issuing new versions of both our “Wild at Heart” and “Captivating” books in March. They’ll have new covers and new content. I’ve also created a new “Captivating” journal, and I’m working on a new study guide. And then, next week, we’re filming a new six-part video series, which people will be able to download. It’s been so fun and encouraging for me to get immersed again in the message of “Captivating.” In some sense, I never left, but we wrote it 15 years ago.

My passion is always to help women to come alive. To help them discover who they are — who they are in Christ and who they’ve been created to be, uniquely, as his women. The gifts they have. The desires they have. The immeasurably important role that is theirs to play — to bring the kingdom of God to bear on the world that needs them so much. My passion is to help women awaken to the reality of the world that they’re living in and, primarily, to teach them how loved they are. All those things are the passions of my heart. So right now, the most exciting venture I’m part of — professionally — is putting tangible tools into the hands of women all over the world, to do all these things.

QUESTION #5: BOOST

Cashiers, CEOs, contractors or customer service reps, we all need grace flowing into us and back out into the world. How does the Holy Spirit invigorate your work? And how do you know it's God when it happens?

I need extended times with God every day. When I first became a Christian, it was a monumental achievement to have what most people call a “quiet time.” That was 15 minutes long. Fifteen minutes then was victorious. And there are days when it is still victorious. But now, more is being required of me and my walk with God. And that means I need more time with Jesus. So I have a little place where I go, I get into a comfortable chair, and I spend some time in prayer. I’ll take my coffee and my journal. I’ll take my Bible but usually don’t open it. I’ll turn on some soaking music or quiet worship music. That pulls my mind back to reality. It turns it back to what’s true. And I’ll just sit and be quiet. I just sink down and curl up under a blanket. And I can do that for a long time because I will encounter God in my spirit. I “think” myself into his presence. I sense him. See him. It’s incredible and beautiful and empowering and relaxing and peaceful. So much so that when I end that time, any pressures or feelings of being overwhelmed by what’s required of me for the day are gone. And I know that I’m living my life with him — but I’m also so immersed in his love and his favor that my outlook on my life is just really, really good. And when I speak to people later in the day, it’s encouraging and truthful. And when I drive to the grocery store and a person is driving 10 mph below the speed limit, I don’t get mad. So the fruit in my life is tangible. I’m a much nicer person after I’ve encountered the Holy Spirit.

Another practice that I started about a year ago was taking communion every day. There are these communion to-go cups that you get from Amazon. As a spiritual practice, communion brings me back to God when my heart has wandered. It dials me back to the reality that Jesus is my daily bread, that I can’t wander very far from him, and that I need him. And then I’m so grateful for what he has won for me through dying for me. It dials me back to the core of reality and re-centers my whole focus. Everything else shrinks.

QUESTION #6: inspire

Some people divide things sacred and things secular. But you know, God can surprise us in unlikely places. How do you find spiritual renewal in so-called “nonspiritual” activities?

I have so many answers to this question — beauty being the framework under which they would all fall. I’ll limit my answer to three things. There’s a walking path near our house where it doesn’t take very long, maybe 10 minutes, to get in the woods. The fragrance of pine. The feel of the dirt and the stones. The sound of a little stream that goes by. Being immersed in nature is healing to my soul.

Another place is my front porch in the evening. I put little twinkle lights in a couple of the trees in our yard; those turn on in the evening. And then winds and coolness come — and the crickets sing in the summer. The moon will come up. It’s just the place to unwind. It’s beautiful, and it helps me tap into rhythms that are deeper than the crisis of the moment. It helps me tap into the eternal.

The most important one for me right now, though, is playing on the playground with my grandchildren — pushing them in swings. There was a moment long ago when I was doing the same thing with my youngest son in our backyard. I remember hearing my husband and our other two sons out front laughing. And the way the air felt, the scent of the flowers, the warmth on my skin and the sounds of my sons’ joy — they are seared into my soul. I knew I was touching eternity in that moment, and I will never forget it.

Well, recently, I had the same experience while I was pushing my grandson. The scent of the flowers. The warmth of my skin. His joy. The sounds whirring around me. It just connected me to that moment in my backyard with my own child. I knew I was touching eternity again.

QUESTION #7: FOCUS

Our email subscribers get free ebooks featuring our favorite resources — lots of things that have truly impacted our faith. But you know about some really great stuff too. What are three of your favorite resources?

There’s a teacher named Liz Wright, and she has a book and a Bible study called “Ekklesia Rising: Visitations from Jesus Revealing the Truth and Power of Who We Really Are.” Ekklesia is a Greek word for the body of Christ ... us. And Liz’s book is about the truth of the Gospel — the union with Christ that we’re made for. It’s about how much we are loved. What is available to us in the day-to-day. And it’s inspirational because Liz shares her experiences of Christ. But it’s also very tangible in that it’s an invitation to know him . . . like gnosis know . . . like to really know . . . to experience him. I read it last year, then I read it again. Her book is just really life-giving.

I also just endorsed a friend’s book. It’s mostly for young women. It’s called “His Warrior Princess: A Girlfriend's Guide to Being Lit from Within.” The author’s name is Cheryl Wright. (No relation to Liz.) I’d known her from a distance for probably 20 years, but I hadn’t really spent much time with her. But then, about a year ago, I spent just a little bit of time with her and went . . . Who are you? And, I want to know Jesus the way you know Jesus. She’s the kind of person that you go . . . OK, when can I see you again? And I’m bringing my journal. She was just finishing up writing this book, which is more for young women, but I think it’s actually for everyone. It, too, is about finding God not just the dailies and pressing into the more that’s available. I’ve been a Christian for more than 40 years, and I have expanded my experiences and my knowledge of what is available here and now. But this book is blowing those up again — what’s available in knowing him, and seeing him, our sanctified imagination, and all of it. She says it’s a girlfriend’s guide, and it really is. It’s like sitting down with a girlfriend and talking about things. It’s great.

The third thing is “The Passion Translation.” For me, it breathes life into the Scriptures. I love it. It’s really fun. I’ve got “The Passion” New Testament. I’m in 2 Peter 1, and I can’t get out of it. It is really bringing a lot of encouragement and life to me right now.

We all have things we cling to in order to survive (or thrive) in tough times. Name one resource you’ve found indispensable in this current season — and tell us what it's done for you.

I’m in Spotify a lot. People send me worship songs almost every day. I probably get six a week. Lately, I’ve been listening to Maverick City Music. I love their songs “Refiner” and “Most Beautiful/So in Love.” Of course, I love everything from Hillsong. I love their song “No One but You.” I can put that on repeat. Isla Vista Worship. I love their song called “My Portion.” There’s John Mark Pentana. I love him. I love “Meet Your Maker” and “Diamonds as Your Skin.”

Worship is the way I’m encountering him in this season. Sometimes I’m in my car. Sometimes I’m standing up and dancing around the room — if I’m worshipping in our living room. My gaze can, so easily, go to the left or the right. And when I worship, it’s like he grabs my face and pulls it back on what’s true about who he is. Well, it’s kind of twofold. I’ve got worship songs all about who he is, how magnificent he is. That just lifts my soul. And then there is the other kind — love songs. Those songs help me get into the reality that the King of the Universe is actually in love with me. I am undone by that. It’s so counter to what the world and my experiences tell me. They’re not telling me I’m worth loving. My flaws and failures are what the world reflects back to me so often. So I need to hear that the defining reality of my life is that I’m the love of Jesus’ life. That’s breath to me.

QUESTION #8: dream

God is continually stirring new things in each of us. So give us the scoop! What’s beginning to stir in you but not yet fully awakened? What can we expect from you in the future?

I’m a real believer in dreaming. I think there’s power to it. I believe that God invites us all to dream. There are all kinds of statistics about it — how powerful it is. I wrote about it in “Becoming Myself: Embracing God's Dream of You.” And honestly, right now, I’m in a dearth. Beyond what’s happening with the re-filming of “Captivating,” I’ve been very curious about this next season of my life and what God has for me — and for my ability to reach more women. We did “Captivating” events pre-COVID-19. Post-COVID, we will again. Those are in Colorado. Women fly to Colorado and attend in-person and have four-day encounters with God. Those are amazing. But you have to have a lot of disposable income to attend. Or you have to save up for four or five years. And so, what we’re dreaming about here, what I’m dreaming about, is bringing it to people. So I’ve begun working on a one-day “Captivating” event that we can take to L.A. and Atlanta and Detroit and Chicago — and it won’t cost very much money for women to attend. It’s amazing how much you can do in one day. It really is. We’re going to record that in January — so that women can host events in their homes or their churches. We’re making it really user-friendly.

And then the other thing I’m dreaming about — a lot — is a house in Ireland. I want a cottage over the sea with gardens. And I’ve actually found a couple of them. You see, what’s been fun for me is dreaming about the restoration of all things. I was lying in bed the other night just thinking about the places where I want to live. And my shortlist is 30 different countries. But I’m 61 years old, and I want to live in each of these 30 different countries for at least a year. So my thought process wasn’t like, I’m never going to do that but rather I do want to begin scratching the surface now. And so my home in Ireland is going to come. I just don’t know which side.

When was the last time you paused and thought deeply about just how much Jesus is in love with you? For men, that might sound like a strange thing to do, but the truth is that each and every believer is part of the corporate bride of Jesus. That means Christ is madly in love with each member of that bride, including you. Our challenge to you is not to let that become a stale truth. Let that beautiful fact sink deep into your mind and heart. Maybe you need to do what Stasi does — sit alone in a quiet place for a while and “think” your way into God’s presence. Why not start today?