Should Everybody Strive For Leadership?
Jim Daly
Focus on the Family
A weekly advice column written by Jim Daly, Focus on the Family draws upon a deep, abiding Christian faith to help heal broken marriages and troubled families, built on a foundation of “the power of hope and second chances.” Focus on the Family’s sound, Christian guidance gives readers helpful answers on how to navigate a steady path in an uncertain world.
Q: I’m beginning to progress somewhat in my career, and I’m interested in what various people think about leadership. I hear a fair bit along the lines of “everybody should strive to be a leader.” Do you have any thoughts on the subject?
Jim: In my opinion, the greatest leader who ever lived had some revolutionary things to say on the subject. His words were paradigm-shifting 2,000 years ago, and they still have some pretty radical implications for our contemporary concept of leadership.
One of the most pivotal ideas was — and is — that whoever wants to be truly great must become a servant. I’d submit that if you study other great leaders, such as George Washington and Martin Luther King Jr., you might conclude that the reluctant leader is probably the best candidate for the job. Put another way, the person best suited to exercise authority is likely the one who wants it least.
I’d suggest two reasons why. The first is humility. The reluctant leader is a good leader because he or she acknowledges their weakness and inadequacy. These individuals pray for wisdom and surround themselves with people who compensate for their own deficiencies. On the other hand, the arrogant leader can easily fall prey to carelessness and bring disaster on those they’re supposed to guide.
The second reason is more subtle. A true leader understands the personal demands and self-sacrifice required of genuine leadership. They realize that lonely days and sleepless nights — not perks and privileges — are part of the package of shepherding others.
So, the bottom line in my view: Don’t seek leadership for its own sake. Rather, look to serve wherever you may be. If God should put you in a position of leadership, exercise it with an attitude of humility and accountability. Put other people’s best interests ahead of your own.
Q: My wife and I have our occasional “issues,” but we get along a lot better than most couples we know. A little bit of conflict is normal in marriage, right?
Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President, Marriage & Family Formation: Yes, but ... let me answer with a question and an analogy. What would you do if you saw a crack developing in a wall of your house? Would you ignore it? Cover it with paint? Or would you find the source of the problem and fix it?
In 1995, employees at a five-story department store in South Korea noticed a crack in one of the building’s support columns. Engineers quickly issued warnings, but the store’s owner refused to close for repairs. While he insisted it was a minor problem, the crack was actually a symptom of a much larger structural failure. Just a few hours later, the entire building collapsed — killing more than 500 people.
Similar catastrophes occur within marriages every day. Couples notice cracks in their relationships but often choose to ignore them. Maybe a problem seems small and insignificant; why invest the emotional energy of discussing it, perhaps for nothing? What these couples fail to recognize is the crack may be the first sign of a larger issue developing within the relationship. If we ignore those problems, the structure of the marriage could weaken over time and eventually come crashing to the ground.
So, if you want a healthy marriage, identify the cracks in your relationship and address the larger problems hiding there. Strengthen your marriage by repairing small problems before they become large ones.
To jump-start this process, our organization has resources to help you identify the strengths of your relationship as well as weak spots. And we have plenty of tools to help you fix the cracks. Start at FocusOnTheFamily.com/TheMarriageAssessment.
Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author and president of Focus on the Family. He is also the host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at jimdalyblog.focusonthefamily.com or at Facebook.com/JimDalyFocus.
Distributed by Andrews McMeel Syndication. Copyright © 2024. Used with permission.