Dreaming Bigger by Asking Better Questions
J.R. Briggs
5 min read ⭑
I’m a professional question-asker. As a faith-oriented leadership development coach and consultant, I’m called to ask questions of leaders from a wide variety of backgrounds and vocations every day. I’ve read dozens of books on asking questions. Over the years, I’ve studied and interviewed countless leaders and their questions. I’ve written various articles on the topic. I’ve taught at numerous training events and facilitated a wide variety of trainings around it. I wrote my dissertation on how to equip faith leaders to ask better questions for deeper impact. I’ve been thinking deeply and ironing out the concepts around this topic for well over a decade.
I’m passionate about questions because I have seen the impact they can have in people’s lives — and in my own. The more I study, utilize and train people around questions, the more convinced I become: questions are a powerful force in the world, far more potent than we’ve given them credit for. And yet, I’ve not arrived; I never will. I’m still learning how to ask questions of substance and significance. None of us fully arrives, but we can all improve in the questions we ask.
Deep Trivedi;Unsplash
I have a bone-deep conviction that all of us need to ask more questions — and better questions. Doing so can change your life and the lives of those around you. I’m not the only one who is convinced that questions are powerful. Dozens of research studies have revealed their numerous benefits. People who ask frequent questions are more popular among their peers and more often seen as leaders. They have more social influence and are sought out more frequently for friendship and advice. Asking better questions helps you to navigate crucial conversations effectively and handle conflict productively. And they lead to more effective reading comprehension.
They also have massive neurological effects. Questions stimulate your brain, releasing serotonin and a rush of dopamine. They trigger a reflex called instinctive elaboration, which takes over your thought process, rendering you incapable of thinking of anything else. Questions are so powerful that researchers have described them as having the ability to hijack our brains. Let me give you an example: What color are the shoes you’re wearing? (See what just happened — you couldn’t help it, could you?) Our thoughts are shaped by the questions we’re asked. While most of us believe we’re good at multitasking, numerous studies reveal that humans are terrible at it. Which means that when you ask someone a question, you have hijacked their thoughts, even if for just a brief moment. A good question is an invitation for participation and engagement — with others and inside your own body.
Asking great questions is an art. Nobody should create a spreadsheet and declare they are 37.4% better at asking today than they were last quarter. Asking better questions is a mindset. It is a posture. A way of life. Growing in our asking is not about ticking off a checklist of dos and don’ts.
“Few things can bring about change more effectively than the right question.”
Answers play an important role in the world. We need answers. If I am going into surgery, the last thing I want is a surgeon asking the nurses what they think should be done. Answers provide information, perspective and crucial context to how we think, feel and act. And yet, it astounds me how much power can be found in asking questions and how easily accessible that power is to every one of us. Questions are free and readily available, yet they remain largely untapped. Now is the time to awaken the sleeping giants from their latent state and unleash their power for good in the world.
Differentiating Between Question-Asking and Questioning
It’s important to differentiate between questioning and question-asking. Questioning someone or something can be helpful at times, but it can often assume a posture of distrust, confrontation or doubt. When we feel we are being questioned, we may go on the defensive and feel uncomfortable and suspicious. Or when people question the faith of others or their own, it can sometimes lead to conflict, division and doubt. Whether fairly or unfairly, people who ask these types of questions are often labeled as revolutionaries, doubters, cynics, rebels, troublemakers — even heretics.
But this questioning posture is not what we are talking about. I am focusing on question-asking, where we seek to ask questions that emphasize honor, care, discovery and growth. It encourages wonder, or what we might call holy curiosity. It’s more about possibility than doubt, more about creativity than cynicism. These kinds of questioners ask, “Can you tell me more about . . . ?,” “I wonder if . . . ?,” and “Imagine if we considered . . . ?” These questions hold the power to unlock the doors of discovery and place us on the path toward new paradigms, creative solutions and previously unimagined ideas.
What Are Good Questions Like?
Good questions are gifts we extend to others.
They are like keys on a key ring, capable of unlocking doors and opening new passageways.
They are windows by which we see others and mirrors by which we see ourselves.
They are archaeologists’ tools — trowels, shovels and spades — excavating hidden treasures lying beneath the surface.
Good questions are flashlights shining a light on where we need to go next.
They are screwdrivers that pop open a stuck lid on a can of paint.
They are like neck muscles that move the head to focus on certain things and turn away from others.
And some questions are like gadflies and midwives. They are tools used to leverage good in the world, but we don’t use the same tool in every situation. Therefore, we need wisdom to discern which tool to use when.
Asking great questions has the power and potential to improve the quality of every single area of life — your relationships, your career, your faith and your future. It can have a significant impact on neighborhoods, schools, churches, workplaces and online. In fact, there’s not a single area where improving the quality of the questions you ask won’t improve the quality of your life and the lives of those around you. Few things can bring about change more effectively than the right question. Once you see how rich and textured and colorful the world can be with better questions, you won’t want to turn back.
J.R . Briggs is the founding director of Kairos Partnerships, an organization committed to equipping kingdom leaders through coaching, consulting and speaking. Before starting Kairos Partnerships, he served for fifteen years in ministry in megachurches, church plants and house church networks. J.R. has written, cowritten and contributed to fifteen books, including his newest, “The Art of Asking Better Questions.”
Taken from The Art of Asking Better Questions by J.R . Briggs. Copyright © 2025. Used by permission of InterVarsity Press.
