Ally Yost
6 min read ⭑
During my “Girlypop era,” it wasn’t hard for me to tell others — people who were technically strangers online — that they were worthy. Without knowing my followers’ names or even a single thing about them, I’d confidently say things like, “You are worthy of good things. You’re worthy of love and you’re worthy of happiness.” And I really believed that in my heart; I believed everyone was worthy of being loved well and being happy.
But as I look back on that season of my life, I realize that it was so easy for me to believe others deserved good things, but that it wasn’t as easy for me to see that for myself. Maybe I felt led to offer such messages to others because it was something I needed to hear or wished I believed for myself.
If feeling worthy is a challenge for you, too, it might be worth pausing long enough to ask where that belief first took root — not to place blame or reopen wounds but simply to notice. When did you start to believe the lie of unworthiness? Was it a moment, a season or a slow accumulation of messages you absorbed without realizing it? For many of us, those beliefs didn’t come from nowhere. They were planted early, often during childhood or in seasons when we were especially impressionable. Maybe it was something said casually that stuck longer than it should have. A moment where you felt overlooked, rejected or not enough. Or maybe it wasn’t a single memory at all, but a pattern feeling like love had to be earned, or approval depended on performance.
Dali Bek; Unsplash
You may notice that a lot of self-doubt traces back to seasons when you didn’t yet have the tools or language to protect yourself. When you believed what you were told. When you internalized silence as rejection, or criticism as truth. And it’s okay if those memories feel blurry or uncomfortable. That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. Healing often begins simply by asking, Where did I learn this about myself? And then allowing Jesus to meet you there with compassion.
For many of us, low self-worth shows up in how we stay far too long in relationships we should never be in to begin with. We let people tell us who we are or aren’t, and what we’re worth. We may also misunderstand what real worthiness is or believe it to be something we have to earn.
All of that was certainly true for me. Before knowing Jesus, I had obviously been influenced by culture, and a lot of my mindset was shaped by societal norms. Society tells us that we deserve what we put out into the world. So, if you’re a good person and love others, you deserve that love in return. The world often operates on the principle of what we can do or achieve. I felt like I had to earn love, which meant loving people first and loving them well.
What’s crazy is the gospel speaks an entirely different story. The Bible says, “We love because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19, ESV). God was showing me that I only knew how to love because Jesus loved me first. Before I could ever love him or choose him, he loved me first. He loved me so much that he died on a cross for me before I ever knew my sin.
And that was something I never earned or deserved. In fact, I gave Jesus every reason not to die for me, and he chose to do it anyway. It was his sacrifice on the cross that allowed the forgiveness of my sins and granted me the ability to stand before God, worthy of his love.
What we need to understand is that our worth is not dependent on anything we do or say. For me, I realize that I was never worthy to begin with, but not in the ways I initially thought. I wasn’t worthy of Jesus dying on the cross for me and choosing to love me first, especially when I chose to ignore and misunderstand him for most of my life. Yet he did it anyway.
His unconditional love for us is what makes us worthy. As I eventually learned, everything he did for me says, “But Ally, you are worthy to me. I will be the sacrifice for you because that’s how worth it I believe you are. That’s how much I love you.” It was never about the works I could ever do to earn love or to earn worthiness because the work was already done by him.
This revelation stirred in my mind for weeks. Are you telling me that I was never truly worthy, but only through Jesus I am? And because Jesus says I’m worthy, I should accept nothing less than the kind of love he demonstrates and fully embrace the love he’s so freely given me.
The truth that God revealed to me helped me understand the true meaning of worthiness — its origin, why we’re worthy and that it’s never been about what the world tells us. Now, you could be thinking at this point, “Okay, Ally, it’s great that we now know why we’re actually worthy and who has made us worthy, but how do I start actually believing that? I don’t know how to believe I was ever worth that, even though I know Jesus says that I am.”
I have compassion for you if this is a real thing that’s hard for you to wrap your mind around. I think it took me a while to understand, as well. How do we come into agreement with this truth that apparently God says about us, when you can’t seem to be convinced it’s true about you?
“Of course, the answer was Jesus, and it always will be Jesus.”
What’s My Identity?
Another piece to this puzzle of worthiness is identity. Understanding our identity and getting it from somewhere that’s lasting is also an important part of knowing our worth. If we don’t truly know who we are or what we’ve been created for, how will we ever feel confident in what we deserve?
The primary reason I needed Jesus so desperately wasn’t just because I was drowning in my own sin and the life I had built without him. Rather, I needed Jesus because I lacked true identity. The deep sense of unworthiness I felt stemmed from this lack of true identity. I placed too much value on what people said about me or how they treated me, which are the most unstable foundations upon which I could have ever built my identity.
Think about it, people’s opinions change daily, sometimes even hourly. If we place our identity on what others think of us, our identity will constantly be shifting. And more than likely, we’ll receive different “identities” from different people, and that feels like a life-sucking way to live.
When I first started gaining traction online, I received all sorts of feedback and took all of it to heart because I wasn’t getting that sense of validation or identity from anywhere else. I definitely wasn’t allowing myself to receive it from God. As I was blowing up on the internet, I could scroll through my comment section for hours. A lot of it was actually pretty positive.
People would say things like “Ally, you have no idea how much this saved me.”
Or, “Ally, you’re literally the best.”
Or even compliments like, “Ally, you’re the most beautiful person I’ve seen.”
I share these not to brag, but just to show you how dangerous it was for me to have my identity rooted in something as fleeting as people’s opinions — even if they seemed positive.
One day I’d feel on top of the world and maybe a little prideful because I’d take to heart every positive thing people would say about me. I’d let people validate my character, who I was as a person and even my looks so that I could feel beautiful. But as quickly as I could get boosted, I could sink.
I’d scroll a little farther and read something like, “Wow, this girl is a joke.”
Or, “I’m sorry, has anyone noticed her teeth? Get them fixed already.”
And suddenly I was questioning whether what I did was impactful or if it was corny and silly, and whether I was beautiful at all or should get Invisalign.
Isn’t it crazy how quickly life can change in a second? One moment, we can feel on top of the world, and the next, completely torn down — all because of a little comment someone made about us. I experienced this because I’d rooted my identity in whatever people said about me, which is such an unstable foundation.
After my encounter with God, the question quickly became: What is a stable enough foundation for my identity to be rooted in, one that isn’t so fleeting and fickle? Of course, the answer was Jesus, and it always will be Jesus.
Ally Yost is the creator of Christ with Coffee on Ice, a podcast cultivating a community of young adults seeking honest answers for their faith. A popular lifestyle and faith-based digital creator, she shares her day-to-day life, connecting with her followers in a personable and relatable way. Ally’s mission on the internet is to spread laughter, light and love to the world. In addition to her Christian resources, she also has a large following on her personal social media accounts sharing her adventures, fashion and other entertainment content. She lives in Los Angeles, California, with her dog, Gracie.
Taken from “Love That Lasts: Finding Purpose in the One Who Never Fails” by Ally Yost. Copyright © 2026. Used by permission of WaterBrook.
