11 min read ⭑

QUESTION #1: ACQUAINT

There’s much more to food than palate and preference. How does a go-to meal at your favorite hometown restaurant reveal the true you behind the web bio?

The food was always tasty. The memory is now tender. My favorite hometown meal was eaten like clockwork, every Sunday after church in my mom’s home around a wooden table. Same day. Same meal. Same love. Tacos with Granny.

Mom was a gifted cook who never ate leftovers. So preparing the same meal every Sunday got a little monotonous for her. But she kept preparing it week after week for us. I can still see her, dancing like a teen to Latin music, mentoring my daughter in the art of homemade tortillas, directing each one of us to chop tomatoes or shred cheese or set the table or pour the sweet tea. Even at 82, my Mexican mama’s presence brought the party to any room.

She went to church early so she’d have the time to make the Spanish rice from scratch, heat up and doctor a can of refried beans, and fresh-squeeze grapefruit juice when it was in season. Soft-frying the corn tortillas would wait until we all were present. And in between, while everything was warming in the stove, Mom would sit outside on her red porch swing facing the direction we’d soon appear from on the road.

That was always the first course of Sunday tacos: Seeing Granny waiting for us all. We’d park and, in turn, receive hugs and kisses as she opened the door and scents a la garlic and cumin greeted us. Then we’d hold hands to pray, “Thank you, God, for family and food. Amen,” grab our plates, and follow one another through her small kitchen.

Tortilla. Cheese. Meat. Lettuce. Avocado. Salsa.

And together, we’d sit and soak in Granny’s unconditional love.

I couldn’t eat tacos for a year after she passed. The first time we mustered up the courage to make tacos as a family, I ate mine with tears.

QUESTION #2: REVEAL

We’ve all got quirky proclivities and out-of-the-way interests. So what are yours? What so-called “nonspiritual” activities do you love and help you find spiritual renewal?

It was the flood of the century. Days of rain saturated our few acres and then the newest rainstorm began carrying things away. Our youngest was the first to see that the ground beneath the carport was being swept south. “Have you looked outside?” he asked, taking us to his window. Within minutes, he and my husband were outside with shovels trying to coax the water to take a different route as feet of gravel and dirt kept collapsing all around them.

That was two months ago. And today, Jesus taught me from it in an unexpected way. That’s where he teaches me — real life. Or more specifically, as I notice real life. From the tree whose biggest bough broke to the cardinals dropping nesting material as they jump from my deck to their home, simply noticing what is real and really near has been a source of spiritual renewal to me. I’m a watcher and I process what I see with God.

Today, our noticing and talking went something like this: “Well, Jesus, here comes the concrete crew. All that gravel. All gone. Exactly what was required — and then some. But not enough for what was to come. We’ve tried to avoid pouring concrete because of the cost, but now it’s unavoidable. I guess there are times when we do the best we can — and then some. But the flood of a century washes all our work away. And through the loss, you position us to do what we’ve been avoiding: investing in something more solid, more sure, more durable. Because you see what I cannot — the future. So pour away, God. Build what you need to. And grant me the grace to pay the cost. Again.”

And it all started with noticing a pile of moving stones.

QUESTION #3: CONFESS

Every superhero has a weakness. Every human, too. We’re just good at faking it. But who are we kidding? We’re broken and in this thing together. So what’s your kryptonite and how do you hide it?

“Unplug everything, don’t brush your hair, and stay away from the windows!” This was the advice I received from my generous, loving, fun mom whenever a storm would approach. She was afraid of lightning but even more afraid of somehow missing an opportunity to keep me safe, of harm coming to me that she could have prevented if she had warned me more fiercely, protected me more closely, or taught me more carefully.

Dad stepped in to turn aside the fear of storms by taking me onto the covered porch every time one drew near. He purposed that I would not inherit Mom’s fear of storms, and he succeeded. Ever since I was small, I’ve associated storms with an opportunity to spend time with my dad.

But the fear of accidentally causing harm, the fear that somehow I could have done something to prevent pain in others’ lives, that fear remained. Not surprisingly, I’ve especially struggled with that fear as a parent. God faithfully continues to reclaim that ground from fear inch by inch. And one of my greatest breakthroughs to date came when I was diagnosed with cancer.

Trying to convince me to take a route that no other specialist had recommended and that I did not feel peace with at all, one doctor said, “But don’t you want to be able to tell your kids that you tried everything?” And that’s when it hit me: It’s impossible to try everything. There will always be something else to read or research or risk. There will always be another book or idea or possibility to explore. “Everything” is beyond me. But love is not. I can make loving guesses, and in fact, that’s truly the best I can do.

The battle against fear continues, but now it’s quieter — most days.

QUESTION #4: FIRE UP

Tell us about your toil. How are you investing your professional time right now? What’s your obsession? And why should it be ours?

“Alicia, I’m a pastor. I teach and preach about Jesus every week. But I don’t think I believe what I’m saying anymore. I’m not sure about Jesus or the Bible,” a leader whispered to me in a hallway.

“Okay,” I replied. “Thank you for your honesty.”

“‘Okay’?” they gasped. “‘Okay?’ Doesn’t what I just said make you nervous?”

“Nope,” I answered sincerely. “God’s not nervous, so I have a really hard time figuring out why I should be. He’s actually quite secure. And your honesty is your key to staying near him, especially in the dark.”

This conversation is a snapshot of my passion. It touches on what I hope to leave for future generations. I want to normalize the night in the life of faith.

In the beginning, the night was one of the original residents of Eden. Pre-sin, pre-fall, pre-curse, pre-drama, there was day and there was night. This means that from the start, walking with God required both day faith and night faith. But we prefer day faith. We like to see and be seen, to know and be known, to walk confidently into a well-lit future.

Although faith shines best in the sun, it grows in depth in the dark. There, where we can’t see enough to self-lead, our love and trust muscles get a workout and we grow.

“The Night Is Normal” is the overflow of 30 years of study, living, and mentoring. It will help readers realize that the night doesn’t mean that their faith is failing but that their faith is growing. And then it offers 28 tools to help navigate the night with hope. It’s my life’s work, and my prayer is that it provides a framework for processing spiritual pain for a generation that has confused emotion for devotion and, consequently, mistaken disillusionment for failure.

QUESTION #5: BOOST

Cashiers, CEOs, contractors or customer service reps, we all need grace flowing into us and back out into the world. How does the Holy Spirit invigorate your work? And how do you know it’s God when it happens?

Honestly, it’s in the boring, small things. That’s where God refreshes and inspires me. That’s where he infuses my offerings with grace. It’s in the little and the ordinary of life.

Like the crunch of gravel and grass under my feet as I walk. The smile and laughter of my kids as they run through a room. The orange sunset on the horizon or the barren winter tree in my backyard.

It’s in being present to what is here more than what is feared, to what is real more than what is regretted. And it’s especially in the silence.

This may sound nuts, but silence is my favorite music. Catching up with my thoughts and emotions in God’s presence is pure therapy for me. Even right now, I’m sitting in silence in my writing room typing these thoughts to you on my laptop. The floor is not pristine — it has smudges and shoe-dirt and more than a few stray ladybugs. The piano needs dusting and two boxes of books are awaiting space in the closet.

It’s gloriously imperfect and wonderfully unexciting. And this space — this ordinary space — is where Jesus and I do our best thinking together. It’s where we do our best journaling and praying and weeping together, too. The silent boring. It’s what keeps my soul refreshed.

QUESTION #6: inspire

Scripture and tradition beckon us into the rich and varied actions that open our hearts to the presence of God. So spill it, which spiritual practice is workin’ best for you right now?

Simmering my soul in a short string of words, maybe three or five (or occasionally seven) — this is my favorite, most soul-strengthening spiritual discipline. I’m not sure what to call it. But I think I can describe it. Have you ever let a chunk of excellent chocolate dissolve in your mouth? Have you savored it until it melted away and became a part of you? That’s what I do phrase by phrase through the Scriptures.

For example, I’ve been letting portions and phrases of the Gospel of Luke melt away into me for over five years. I’m almost in chapter 9 now. Yes, I love studying and researching. And yes, I love diving deeply into themes, characters and context. But this practice of holding Scripture in my soul and letting it melt into me has changed me.

It goes something like this: In recent weeks, I’ve savored small chunks of Luke 8:48,49.

“Daughter.”

“Your faith has healed you.”

“Go in peace.”

“Your daughter is dead.”

“Don’t bother the teacher.”

With each phrase, I roll it around in my mind, considering each word, calling upon my God-given imagination to see myself in the scene, hearing and seeing. Recognizing the woman’s desire to remain hidden from Jesus and the crowds. Weighing the ruler’s risk in being visible and vulnerable with Jesus among the crowds. Considering this father’s response to the report of his daughter’s death during the delay.

And this week, I’m sitting with Jesus’ words to the distraught dad: “Don’t be afraid.”

Don’t be afraid.

I think about how Jesus might have said it. I imagine Jairus’ face before and after he heard it. And then I realize that Jesus attended to Jairus’ emotions first. With compassion, he spoke to the father’s fear. And suddenly, I also realize that Jesus is speaking to my own fear, to this mother’s fear.

And through savoring, the Word becomes life to me.

QUESTION #7: FOCUS

Our email subscribers get free ebooks featuring our favorite resources — lots of things that have truly impacted our faith lives. But you know about some really great stuff, too. What are three resources that have impacted you?

“Practicing His Presence” by Brother Lawrence and Frank Laubach opened my heart to the glorious adventure of seeking to be attentive to God in every moment. Laubach’s assertion that “there lie ahead undiscovered continents of spiritual living compared with which we are infants in arms” captivated me early in my faith walk. The thought that I could tune my mind to think with God instead of just about God has shifted my understanding of faith from a solo (heard by the Author) to a duet (sung with the Author).

“How to Read the Bible for All Its Worth” by Gordon D. Fee and Douglas Stuart gave me practical tools to build a relationship with the Scriptures. It helped me be fearless in studying hard passages and committed to letting the Word shape me instead of conforming the Word to my image.

“Margin: Restoring Emotional, Physical, Financial, and Time Reserves to Overloaded Lives” by Dr. Richard A. Swenson shaped me during a sabbatical season in a way that surely detoured me from burnout or breakdown. Dr. Swenson is a medical doctor who starts by addressing what overload does to us physically and then sneaks up on shocking you with what it does spiritually. This is a book we ask all the leaders we mentor to read.

We all have things we cling to to survive (or thrive) in tough times. Name one resource you’ve found indispensable in this current season — and tell us what it’s done for you.

Two resources are near me always: A Paperblanks pocket journal and the “YWAM Personal Prayer Diary Daily Planner.” The first is filled with my conversations with God. I seem to pray best through my pen. There’s something about the paper and pen meeting that simply helps me focus. And the second, the “Daily Planner,” provides weekly, monthly and yearly space to plan and dream and is bookended with opportunities to pray for those I can’t see.

QUESTION #8: dream

God is continually stirring new things in each of us. So, give us the scoop! What’s beginning to stir in you but not yet fully awakened? What can we expect from you in the future?

I’m often asked what my current dreams are. I’ve had a handful over the years. When I was a teen, I dreamed of being a lawyer and then running for public office. In my 20s, I dreamed of teaching English in China. In my 30s, I dreamed of seeing a student revival. In my 40s, I dreamed of my own children seeing themselves as God sees them and following Jesus wholeheartedly.

And now? Ten years after being diagnosed with breast cancer and three recurrences later, my dreams have changed. I’m guessing I still have a lot of life in me, and I certainly have ideas for new books and projects. But truly, my dream is to love well. My dream is to love God, live loved by God, and love others toward God. And if at the end of my life, my incredible children, my faithful husband and my close friends can say, “Well, she lived loved,” then my dearest dream would have come true.

It’s human nature to want to know and understand things. We want to know what’s going on, why good or bad things happen to us, and what’s going to happen next.

But let’s be honest — we rarely get the answers we crave. More often than not, we have no clue why we go through certain trials or what the future has in store. And in life’s hardest moments, we might feel totally alone with our questions.

And yet God calls us to trust him, not because we have all the answers, but because he’s always good, he always loves us and he’s always in control — no matter what. So what about you? How is God teaching you to trust him right now despite life’s uncertainty?

Dr. Alicia Britt Chole is a speaker, award-winning author and mentor. Her raw faith and love for God’s Word hold the attention of saints and skeptics alike. She loves thunderstorms, hot tea and even hotter jalapeños. In addition to her newest book, The Night Is Normal: A Guide Through Spiritual Pain, Alicia’s other writings include Anonymous: Jesus’ Hidden Years and Yours; 40 Days of Decrease: A Different Kind of Hunger, A Different Kind of Fast; and The Sacred Slow: A Holy Departure From Fast Faith. Learn more about Alicia at aliciachole.com and follow her on Instagram @aliciabrittchole.

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