Auntie Anne Beiler

Sep 23

22 min read ⭑

“You may have experienced trauma, tragedy or abuse, and you’re happy today because you survived it. But there’s a whole level beyond surviving, and it’s called the overcoming life. … The overcoming life is when you begin to walk in the light and bring all of your deeds into the light as the Bible instructs us to do. ”

If you’ve ever grabbed a warm, salty, soft pretzel at the mall, chances are it was from Auntie Anne’s®. What started out as a single stand in 1988 has since become the world’s largest hand-rolled soft pretzel franchise with over 2,000 stores. But before becoming a successful entrepreneur, Anne Beiler grew up baking pies for her Amish Mennonite family’s market stand and, later on, endured years of trauma and despair. Thankfully, her story doesn’t end there. In her brokenness, she discovered God’s true purpose for her life — and now, she shares her story of healing and compassion with others who need encouragement and help finding their voice.

Today, Anne isn’t holding back as she shares honest details about the darkest years of her life (starting with the death of her young daughter and, later, the abuse she endured from her pastor). Come discover how she and her husband experienced God as they worked through marital struggles and how she found healing through confession. You’ll also learn how she pursues God’s presence, the books that have reshaped her theology and the secret to what she calls “the overcoming life.”

The following is a transcript of a live interview. Responses have been edited and condensed for brevity and clarity.

QUESTION #1: ACQUAINT

There’s much more to food than palate and preference. How does a go-to meal at your favorite hometown restaurant reveal the true you behind the web bio?

I grew up in the old-order Amish culture — meaning horse and buggy and no electricity — until I was about 3. Then my mom and dad became Amish Mennonite, which meant we could have a black car, electricity and telephones. So I wasn’t deprived of too much when I was a little girl. It was a very safe environment. There were eight of us kids on the farm, and we had dairy cows, so we milked cows, worked the field and had a very large garden. It really was all about putting food on the table — literally. It’s how we grew up. Going to the grocery store was mainly for sugar and flour and some of the basic staples we couldn’t grow.

When you ask about my hometown or my favorite restaurant, there are so many things that come to mind, but my heart goes all the way back to those days on the farm. The older I get, the more memories I have about sitting around the table in my mom’s kitchen. It was three times a day — breakfast, lunch and dinner — without fail. We never started eating until all of us had sat down at the table. If my dad was out in the field, one of us had to go get him and say, “It’s time to eat.” Everybody knew about what time we were eating, so it wasn’t random. It was always around 7 in the morning, noon and 5 in the evening.

My favorite kitchen would be my mom’s kitchen. I was the only one out of eight kids who had allergies, and back in the day, all they knew to call it was hay fever. My allergies were pretty severe at times. They finally figured out that it would be better for me to work in the house with Mom in the kitchen than it would be for me to go out and work in the hayfield or in the barn. So that’s what I did. It’s there in my mom’s kitchen that I learned how to cook and how to bake.

About a year ago, I released a cookbook called “Come to the Table.” I love this subject because it really is very meaningful to me — coming to the table, my mom’s table, and eating the food that she cooked for us, most of which was pretty meager. Maybe there were 10 to 15 dishes that we knew we were going to have, but that’s all we knew, so it didn’t really matter. The meal I loved the most was one my mom made every Sunday: roast beef, mashed potatoes, a vegetable and always a dessert. The dessert could be anything from caramel pudding that we made from scratch to shoofly pie, which is a very Amish pie. It’s like a molasses pie (almost a crumb cake of some sort) in a crust. So every Sunday, Mom would put the roast in the oven before we went to church, and when we got home, you could cut it with a fork. I’ve adopted that recipe, and still today, it’s one of my favorites. If you come to my house in Salado, Texas, for a meal, I will put a roast in the oven for you, and we’ll have an Amish meal. It may not be fancy, but I can promise you it will be very, very tasty.

My cookbook “Come to the Table” has all the recipes my mom made. As a young girl, when I got home from school on a Thursday afternoon, my mom would often be at the family’s market stand. It was a 2.5-hour drive from our house. My mom and dad would go Thursday night and set up for Friday and Saturday, and my mom would leave me a note asking me to make 60 or 70 pies and cakes for market the next day. So by the time I was 11 or 12, I could make some really delicious baked goods. I loved doing that because I knew it pleased my mom and dad. So my favorite kitchen and hometown memories are from Lancaster County in the town of Leola, Pennsylvania, where we lived.

QUESTION #2: REVEAL

We’ve all got quirky proclivities and out-of-the-way interests. So what are yours? What so-called “nonspiritual” activities do you love and help you find spiritual renewal?

Again, I grew up in a very safe family. I grew up learning about God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. I wanted to please God. I wanted to serve him. My whole dream was to do whatever it was that God wanted me to do throughout my life. Growing up, it was all about faith, family and community. Everything we did centered around one of those three or all three at the same time. My dad was very funny and liked having fun. Back in the day, he would take us to a couple of beaches for one swim day per summer. As a family, we would always go to the lake or to an actual beach in Maryland. That would have been our one-day family vacation as we grew up. That was the most nonspiritual thing we ever did as a family.

For me individually, probably the most nonspiritual thing I’ve done (most people might not see God in this at all) has to do with when Jonas and I went through a very difficult time in our marriage. If you’ve read any of our story or any of our books or if you follow me at all, you’ve probably heard about the trauma and tragedy we went through, the death of our daughter, and then the abuse months later. So life was really, really hard for us for a number of years.

During that time, Jonas and I had drifted apart. We were still together and loved each other, but in the pain of it all, we were silent. We had two daughters at that time, and at the age of 30, my husband had a motorcycle. He encouraged me to go get my own motorcycle so we could ride together. So we did. We bought me a brand-new 1980 Yamaha and a 350 Yamaha, and I tell you, that was probably the most nonspiritual thing I’ve done in my entire life. I have been riding motorcycles for 40 years. God is everywhere all the time, so everything we do, whether we think about it or not, God is with us in those moments. Whether I’m doing activities that are not spiritual or whether I’m sitting in church, he is there. Because we both had motorcycles at that time, we were able to go and just ride around the countryside for an hour or so before stopping at a restaurant and having a light lunch or dinner. In a strange way, it kept us connected. I would look forward to the times when he and I would get on a motorcycle and just ride. There are probably many things we can do that are nonspiritual, but I like to think that God is with me everywhere I go. And in that sense, his presence is always spiritual.

The other thing I do a lot where I’m living right now is enjoying nature. The Bible talks a lot about God’s creation and how he created it for our enjoyment. I’ve spent the last 15 years every morning outdoors just because I want to be outside and feel and see nature. That may seem nonspiritual to many people, but again, the backdrop is his creation. I enjoy that time, and I’ve learned to appreciate the sky, the trees, the flowers and the nature all around.

QUESTION #3: CONFESS

Every superhero has a weakness. Every human too. We’re just good at faking it. But who are we kidding? We’re broken and in this thing together. So what’s your kryptonite, and how do you hide it?

The thing I struggle with the most is something I’ve talked about often — feeling rejected. In fact, I was just telling my husband once again how it’s one of my greatest weaknesses and one of the hardest things for me to get past, no matter how much I pray, share my story and talk about it. Sometimes I wonder, Is it my cross to bear? The feeling of rejection pops up in weird places and at different times.

This struggle started way back when I was a little girl. Sometimes when I was in the kitchen, my mom and three sisters would end up being outside together. I didn’t understand when I was a little girl, but I understand clearly now that I wanted to be with them. Throughout the years, some of the things that have happened in my life have magnified this feeling of being left out and alone. Feeling alone and feeling lonely are two different things. Feeling alone for too long leaves you feeling lonely. The other thing that really added to the rejection I felt (not always from my sisters, but that was the root of it) was the loss of our baby girl and the abuse I endured from a spiritual leader. Jonas and I began to disconnect during that time, and we didn’t know what to do with our grief and our pain. I felt rejected by him. Again, this is not a blaming session. This is a truth-telling moment because I believe there’s strength in voicing what’s bothering you.

The rejection that I felt from Jonas — because we were not able to really talk about how we felt — really put me in an “alone place.” In those places, we think things like, Nobody cares about me or Nobody would understand. Or we blame somebody else for how we’re feeling because they rejected us. I’ve discovered over time that the greatest way to overcome that is actually to talk about it. I don’t feel rejected by Jonas anymore. We know each other well and have been to hell and back. We know that darkness, silence and not being able to talk about things really puts us further into that place of feeling alone or rejected. He and I have really been able to work through that — and that’s a beautiful thing. Still today, there are things that trigger me — maybe it’s my own children, or it could be my extended family members or something. It’s almost like PTSD because it’s that strong. It often hits me when I’m not expecting it, but the good news is that I’ve learned that breaking my silence is the key to overcoming rejection or anything else that’s really challenging.

I’ve discovered that breaking the silence by talking about it is truly the way out, and there’s great power in that. That idea is found in James 5:16, where it tells us to confess our faults. Confess your faults, sins and struggles — the things you can’t seem to handle by yourself. Things that you may not like about yourself. Whatever it is, confess that one to another. That passage isn’t talking about telling God about it; it’s talking about one another. It also tells us to pray and we will be healed. I believe that verse absolutely means that when I’m able to talk to somebody about what I’m struggling with, relational healing happens. It’s not about my relationship with Christ. It’s about relational healing. And so that’s really my go-to when I feel like I’m in too deep. I’m just going to break my silence.

The silence actually becomes a stronghold. You feel like you’re strangled. You cannot talk. I love a quote that I heard many years ago: “Satan builds his strongholds in the secrets of our lives and reinforces them by silence. When we break our silence, we break the stronghold.” So I’ve learned how to do that, and that has really helped me tremendously to where my feelings of rejection are not nearly as strong as they used to be.

QUESTION #4: FIRE UP

Tell us about your toil. How are you investing your professional time right now? What’s your obsession? And why should it be ours?

I believe that everyone, at some point, experiences trauma and tragedy. I don’t necessarily mean the death of a child or abuse — it can mean anything that just grips you. Something so unexpected that it puts you on your knees or flat on your back in your bed, and you can hardly move. Whatever that news is that you’ve got that is so tragic in your heart, that is the very thing that propels you into a different life, a different way of thinking, a different way of surviving. Eventually, you have to overcome this and live life again, right?

For example, I have a friend who has an autistic child, and they said to me, “It seems to me like the death of Angie and the abuse of your pastor were the trauma and tragedy that changed you from who you were to who you are today.” And I said, “Well, it’s so true. It seems to me like the autism of your child is the thing that has taken you in and out of struggle. It’s a long process, and if you can get through it, at the end (whatever form it comes in), the fruit you reap is compassion.”

My story of trauma and tragedy has led me into the ministry that we do right now called Broken Silence. I am obsessed with the fact that many of us experience trauma or tragedy of some sort, and over time, we realize that we’ve survived. We pat ourselves on the back and think, Wow, I survived. You hear the line “I survived” very often from people who have survived cancer. I understand that because, for many years, I knew I was happy that I survived the death of our daughter and, a few months later, the abuse of our pastor, which lasted almost seven years.

When we suffer in certain ways, we find ourselves in a place that’s unfamiliar — a little bit like Adam and Eve. They made one choice, and that one choice took them into a world they knew nothing about. Coming out of my pastor’s office, I made one choice, and that choice was that I would never tell. Why would I? Who would listen to me? Who would believe me? And who cares? And because of that one choice, I stayed in the dark world. I was silent. My voice was stolen. I shriveled up. I was dying a little bit every day. Nobody noticed because I knew how to pretend, and that’s what we do oftentimes with things we struggle with. So everywhere I go, I talk about the power of confession. I want everybody to know about it.

You may have experienced trauma, tragedy or abuse, and you’re happy today because you survived it. But there’s a whole level beyond surviving, and it’s called the overcoming life. As James 5:16 says, “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” The overcoming life is when you begin to walk in the light and bring all of your deeds into the light as the Bible instructs us to do. Bring all of your deeds into the light, and then you have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus cleanses us from all sin. But it starts with bringing your deeds into the light and walking in the light as he is in the light.

When you’re in a dark place, it’s hard to walk in the light. That has been my experience. I want people to understand that I know how hard it is to open up and have a voice. But I also want to encourage people to start talking to somebody trustworthy, somebody who has been there, done that or who has walked the path that’s filled with compassion and has the gift of listening. That’s really important as we come out of our trauma.

So my current obsession is to help people understand, first of all, that they have a story and a voice. For the rest of us, our goal should be to be good listeners, to hear the cries, see the pain, bring them into our hearts and into our world, talk to hurting people and help them find freedom to tell us all about it. I’m right here. I’ll listen to you because I know that’s the beginning of your overcoming life. It’s a journey, and this is the beginning.

QUESTION #5: BOOST

Cashiers, CEOs, contractors or customer service reps, we all need grace flowing into us and back out into the world. How does the Holy Spirit invigorate your work? And how do you know it’s God when it happens?

I always start my messages by saying, “I’m here today because of the power of grace and one really good man in my life.” The power of grace is something I experienced first from Jesus. I knew the grace of God as a little girl when I found Christ at 12 years old. I sang “Amazing Grace” my whole life, so I knew about God’s grace, but I really didn’t understand God’s grace until I found myself in that very, very dark place I mentioned before. After I confessed to my husband what was going on in my life — the one good man that he was — he fell on his knees, experienced the grace of God and was challenged. (He didn’t tell me about that personal experience with God for almost three years.) He was challenged to love me as Jesus loves him — not necessarily as Christ loved the church but as Jesus loved him. He said to the Lord at that time, “How do I do that? How do I love Anne in this broken, dark place that she’s in?” And the Lord’s response was, “I will show you. I will teach you.”

After that, I saw Jesus in the way Jonas loved me. I felt Jesus in the way he came into the kitchen. In the silence of our motorcycle rides. I felt the grace of Christ in my husband. I began to experience it in such a way that I would ask God, “How can I do this? How do I love people the way you love them?” I’ve been in tune with that thought ever since I made my confession. Then God gave me a pretzel company and, after that, a platform to share our story for God’s glory.

So how do I know it’s God and that the Holy Spirit is within me as I share our story? I believe that God gives gifts to us all, that we’re all created for a purpose and that God knows what that purpose is. I often ask people, “What is your purpose?” And you would not believe how many people look at me with this blank look, shrug their shoulders and say, “I don’t know.” I understand that response because I was about 45 before I discovered my purpose. So how do I know my purpose? I feel God’s pleasure, I feel his Spirit, and I feel his joy. Whether I’m speaking to a few thousand people or ministering to one person, when I’m operating in my purpose and my gift, it doesn’t take any energy for me because I’m doing what I was created to do. It’s like how the eagle flies because that’s what it was created to do. You can watch an eagle from the ground soaring and think, How in the world can it do that? Well, that’s the way I feel when I get on a platform or when I minister one on one. I feel like I’m soaring because that’s what I was created to do. I love the presence of God, and I love the Holy Spirit within me. It makes me want to use my gift every chance I have.

QUESTION #6: inspire

Scripture and tradition beckon us into the rich and varied actions that open our hearts to the presence of God. So spill it, which spiritual practice is workin’ best for you right now?

About two years ago, I was about to speak in Brazil, and because I was in a different culture, I struggled all evening. I knew I was speaking in the morning, and I couldn’t come to a peace in my heart about sharing my story the way I typically do. But it was in that place that I began to cry out to the Lord, “I just want to carry your presence onto the platform. Maybe I don’t have to know what I’m going to say, but I have to have your presence. Otherwise, I cannot do this.”

Then God took me back to a lot of thoughts about his presence. In the beginning of time, Adam and Eve were in a perfect world. They were created to be in fellowship with God and enjoy his presence every single day until they made a choice.

In Brazil two years ago, I began to long for more of God’s presence. I’ve gotten to the point where I love to sit in silence as long as I possibly can and experience his presence. When I say “experience,” I mean feel his presence. I believe that because we have faith in him, we can feel and sense his presence. Experiencing his presence has been rich and real for me, and it can happen as I’m sitting quietly. It can happen while I’m reading Scripture. It can happen when I’m praying. It can happen when I’m driving down the road thinking about him and his presence. So his presence is everywhere all the time, and I’ve been able to tap into that.

Honestly, I don’t have 10 steps on how to do this; I just experience it. As I meditate on him, his faithfulness and the fact that he’s here right now, I can feel him. That has been one of the greatest experiences in my spiritual walk with Christ.

QUESTION #7: FOCUS

Our email subscribers get free ebooks featuring our favorite resources — lots of things that have truly impacted our faith lives. But you know about some really great stuff too. What are some resources that have impacted you?

When I was a teenager growing up in the Amish Mennonite community, there was a lot of legalism in the church, and it impacted my theology. I’m not mad at them or blaming them. There’s some of that, I suppose, in every denomination. But in our church, it was very outward. People cared a lot about what you looked like on the outside and the steps you took to follow God’s Word. So back in the day, my theology was that “Life is good. God is harsh.” In other words, I never really experienced anything really bad in my life. I was always a good girl. My life was good in that I wanted to please my mom and dad and I wanted to please God. I believed that if I did that, life would continue to be good and God would bless me. But if I broke one of the Ten Commandments or was disobedient to my parents or was unkind, then God would be harsh and would be displeased with me. Nobody told me that outright, but it was what I concluded in my late teen years and early married life.

Today, after over seven decades of real-life experiences, my theology now is that “Life is hard. God is good.” I’m not confused about that at all. When hard things happen, when I get bad news or when I hear about things happening to my friends, the tragedies of life and the traumas that people experience, I think, Wow. Life is hard. I know that now from my own experience, but I also know that God is good no matter what happens to us.

Looking back on my journey, I would say that the things that inspired me most would have been what I learned as a kid. I learned all of the Bible stories. I sang beautiful songs and heard great sermons and great teachers — and all of those things were really foundational to me.

Today, however, my theology has changed. That shift started when I first began going to a counselor for therapy and read one of Dr. Richard Dobbins’ books called “Your Feelings, Friend or Foe?,” which changed everything about how I see God. I know I am not good enough no matter what I do. I’m not good enough on my own. And I’ve learned that God’s grace is real. His love for me cannot change. Many of us in and outside of the body of Christ ignore the importance of our feelings. It’s true that feelings are not facts, but we cannot ignore them and be healthy over long periods of time. So Dr. Dobbins’ book changed my theology from “Life is good. God is harsh” to “Life is hard. God is good.”

Along the journey, I started to feel the need to help people in ways that I wouldn’t have thought of if I didn’t have compassion. Looking back on my journey, I see how I used to be a religious person. You could’ve asked me any question about anything, and I’d probably have some kind of an answer for you. I’ve gone from that to having a relationship with Jesus Christ and knowing I don’t know a whole lot. You bring me your story, you tell me what’s going on in your life, and we’ll talk about it. All I can do is encourage you out of my own experience, out of my own story, and lead you to great books that I have read.

“The Wounded Heart” by Dan Allender was another book I read during my dark days because it’s a fantastic book on the journey of abuse. Besides that, the top resources that changed my life include the grace my husband and Jesus showed me, the forgiveness I embraced from Christ and from myself, the book “Your Feelings, Friend or Foe?,” and lastly, the idea that because I have been forgiven much, I have the capacity to love much.

We all have things we cling to to survive (or thrive) in tough times. Name one resource you’ve found indispensable in this current season — and tell us what it’s done for you.

There is a devotional called “A Psalm in Your Heart” by Dr. George O. Wood, who has gone on to be with Jesus now. I’ve always loved the Book of Psalms. I think anyone who experiences tragedy, trauma and difficulties in life goes to King David. How did he survive? We all love David because he was real. Dr. George O. Wood wrote his book for anyone going through struggles — he has written a chapter on every psalm. You can use it as a devotional or read it all the way through, but I guarantee you’ll find yourself going back to certain chapters because you have to digest them. I would read the same chapter for maybe a week to digest what he wrote. That is one book that is always current for me and helps me every single time I pick it up.

Lastly, regular confession. I talked about confession earlier, but this is what I call a lifestyle of confession. I don’t ever want to go back into the dark time, and I know I never will, but I can easily be triggered by things or make mistakes. Maybe somebody hurts my feelings. Maybe I’m triggered by rejection of some sort. Following the ongoing lifestyle of confession, the James 5:16 model, means if I say something wrong to someone, something that didn’t feel right to me, then I confess it. Maybe I write it down or call that person back and say, “Hey, I just want to clear my heart. I said something that I think might have hurt your feelings.” I keep the slate clean. I don’t carry my burden with me for days and weeks at a time because I can’t do that anymore. The lifestyle of confession keeps me free. It keeps me living in the light, keeps my heart free from stress and keeps my belly from hurting. When I get that feeling of dread in my stomach, I think, OK, I need to talk to somebody.

QUESTION #8: dream

God is continually stirring new things in each of us. So give us the scoop! What’s beginning to stir in you but not yet fully awakened? What can we expect from you in the future?

When I look back and think about all the things that God surprised my family with, it’s unbelievable. I’m still amazed at how God led our path, how he took us down the twists and turns of life. I’ve always said that the things we’ve accomplished were not things we planned to do. So when it comes to what’s stirring in my heart and what God wants to do, I’m going to have to say I’m not sure. But I have some clues. One is that we signed a contract to do a movie. It’s already been a couple of years, and I don’t know when it’s going to be on the big screen, but we’re moving forward with that. That’s really stirring in me, even though it’s not something I would have done on my own. I wouldn’t have gone to a producer and said, “Hey, we have a great story. Can you do this for us?” Somebody came to us and wanted to tell the story. I don’t know what I have to do as they move into production, but it’s stirring in me, and I know it’s coming.

Secondly, I’m meeting with somebody about co-hosting a podcast. We’re going to name the podcast “Broken Silence.” I don’t know when exactly it’s coming — hopefully, by the end of the year. That’s stirring in me because, again, I know that God’s going to use my gift and the purpose for which he created me. This is in line with what I envisioned throughout my life, and I’m almost shocked that this is actually happening, that we’re actually going to do this. The lady with whom I’m creating the podcast is very well known and has a huge following on her social media platform, and I’m really excited about that. I can’t wait to see how God is going to work out all the details for us as we plan and strategize for this podcast.

The other thing that’s very important to me is my family. My grandson is getting married, and I am so emotionally charged about that. He found this beautiful young girl, and they’re going to live here in the town where we live. That’s almost a surprise to us now because our grandson has been through a lot of tough times in his life. We’ve prayed his whole life that he would find a really good wife, and God has answered our prayers. I just love my family with all my heart.

Ask anyone what their most painful experience has been, and they’ll likely mention a time they felt rejected. Rejection can stir up emotions of hurt, shame, embarrassment, loneliness, anxiety and guilt.

The Bible gives us an early example. When Cain and Abel both presented their sacrifices to God, God accepted Abel’s but rejected Cain’s (see Gen. 4:3-7). Despite God’s loving warnings, how did Cain respond? Anger, jealousy, blame-shifting — and even murder. God disciplined Cain for killing his brother Abel. But even in his punishment, he showed mercy: “And the Lord put a mark on Cain, lest any who found him should attack him” (Gen. 4:15b, ESV).

Fast forward a few thousand years, and we see God reject another man. But this time, he completely rejected him. No holding back. No mercy. No protection from attackers. On the cross, Jesus felt truly abandoned by his Father. But we know that rejection turned into triumph — and because of that, so can ours.

Reflect: What moments of rejection does God want to reframe for you? And what triumphs does he want to bring out of the dark moments of your past?

Anne Beiler began twisting pretzel in 1987 and grew a single farmer’s market stand into Auntie Anne’s®, the world’s largest hand-rolled soft pretzel franchise. Her professional success, however, was forged after years of darkness and despair brought on by the death of her 19-month-old daughter. Anne’s personal story and entrepreneurial insights have been featured on Secret Millionaire, The Oprah Winfrey Show, Good Morning America and more. She’s also been highlighted in Fortune Magazine, Inc Magazine and more. Before creating Auntie Anne’s®, Anne was a little Amish girl in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, who baked pies for her family’s market stand.