Colleen Murphy
11 min read ⭑
“In the first few days after Lauren’s accident, my faith was my anchor. Despite my daughter’s grim prognosis, I had an overwhelming sense of peace that everything was going to be okay! God was with me in that ICU room.”
QUESTION #1: ACQUAINT
There’s much more to food than palate and preference. How does a go-to meal at your favorite hometown restaurant reveal the true you behind the web bio?
Wow, this question will show everyone how strange I am right out of the gate! I am probably one of the pickiest eaters on the planet. And because of that, one of my favorite meals is buttered noodles.
Let me explain just how far my food particularities go. Remember in the movie “When Harry Met Sally” when Meg Ryan ordered her food with a long list of instructions? That is how I order food at every restaurant.
My two favorite meals are a fish filet without tartar sauce from McDonald’s and a Taco Bell bean burrito with no onions, no red sauce, double extra cheese with a side of nacho cheese sauce and mild sauce packets. The packets do not contain onions, the sauce they include on the burrito has onion, at least it did one time back in the early ’90s. I am still a little salty about the onion. This is why my husband refuses to order for me in a drive-thru. Instead, I lean across the car to deliver my complicated order.
As a born-and-raised St. Louisan, I would be doing a disservice if I didn’t mention three delicious things that were created right here in “The Lou.”
1. Imo’s Pizza is pizza with a thin crunchy crust topped with Provel cheese (the best cheese on the planet). The sauce is mild (not onion-filled, thankfully).
2. Toasted ravioli. What’s not to love about breaded, deep-fried ravioli? Maybe the marinara dipping sauce? Well, you know, that whole onion thing. Lucky for me, ranch dressing is a great alternative.
3. Gooey Butter cake, this one is a must-try for anyone traveling to St. Louis. Gooey Butter cake was discovered back in the 1930s when a St. Louis baker accidentally reversed the ingredients. The rest, as they say, is history.
As you can probably tell by my food choices, I don’t have the most sophisticated palate. The older I get, the less I partake in all the above treats. I do try to make healthier choices, but unfortunately, old habits die hard. And yet one thing doesn’t change — whether the meal is healthy and fresh or delicious and fried, I always order with a list of special instructions. Hold the onions!
Lauren/Colleen Murphy
QUESTION #2: REVEAL
We’ve all got quirky proclivities and out-of-the-way interests. So what are yours? What so-called "nonspiritual" activities do you love and help you find spiritual renewal?
I would have to say that writing is one of the things that brings me joy! I started a blog back in 2008, which has, in some sense, become my therapist. As the mother of seven, you can probably imagine most of my days were long and rarely peaceful. One of the best gifts I received from my father is the ability to find humor in everything. My blog forced me to sit at my computer, reflect on the day and look for the funny parts. The only downside is that I’ve always been an over-sharer, which has often driven my kids crazy. I would tell them, “If you don’t want to be written about on my blog, stop acting stupid by hiding bottles of wine in soccer socks or Lime-A-Ritas in your UGG Boots.”
Trying to find things to make you laugh is basically the same as finding the positive. Everything depends on how we look at things, is your glass half-empty or half-full? Many times throughout the craziness of life, soccer teams, homework, church functions, school functions and so on, I felt as though my half-empty glass needed to be full of something stronger than water, and possibly filled to the tippy top. (On a side note, I rarely drink. I’m kind of like a unicorn amongst Irish Catholics). But one of the things I forced myself to do every night before I went to bed is to recall all the craziness and to laugh at my mistakes (and there were many).
In my opinion, it is fine to laugh when you make mistakes. I’m talking about when you have so many kids that you don’t notice one missing and forget to pick them up after their brownie meeting. Or when you show up to a soccer field thinking you have this parenting thing down because you put your kid in the correct color uniform until you realize you brought the wrong kid. Or when you send your second-grader to school in a full-on nun habit costume for All Saints Day a week early. Obviously, these types of things never happened to me personally, but all I’m saying is that if it were to happen, it would be okay to laugh.
QUESTION #3: CONFESS
Every superhero has a weakness. Every human, too. We're just good at faking it. But who are we kidding? We’re broken and in this thing together. So what’s your kryptonite and how do you hide it?
Back in 2013, my daughter Lauren was hit by a car and suffered a severe traumatic brain injury. Despite all medical odds, she not only survived but has been recovering. One of the hardest things for me, though, is when people tell me how much they admire me for my part in my daughter’s miraculous recovery. Now that we are in the public eye, it happens more often. Sometimes I feel like a fraud. I have been far from perfect. I am not always as patient with Lauren as I should be. I feel as if what I am doing is not extraordinary. After all, my daughter got hurt and needed help. I’m her mother; it was my job.
Lauren does well, but one thing she does that drives me crazy is to ask the same question repeatedly. She can be forgetful, but it’s not her fault. Why can’t I answer her question as nicely the 37th time she asks as I did the first time?
God doesn’t expect us to be perfect, but he does ask us to keep trying. I am a work in progress.
QUESTION #4: FIRE UP
Lauren and Colleen Murphy
Tell us about your toil. How are you investing your professional time right now? What’s your obsession? And why should it be ours?
I knew I wanted to write Lauren’s story soon after her accident. In my head, I had a lovely vision of writing in a daily journal and later, reading it back to her like in the movie “The Notebook.” I thought maybe it would help her come back to me. Unfortunately, this was real life, and that kind of thing only happens in the movies. Besides, it would never work — my husband was no Ryan Gosling.
Like I mentioned earlier, I like to find the funny parts of life when I write. For a long time, I felt that nothing about our situation was funny. I was not ready to peel back all the layers to find the funny. Once decided to move forward and write our story (six years after the accident) it only took 67 days from start to finish. The words of “Murphys Don’t Quit” flowed out of me. If you read my book, you will see that I, indeed, found the funny.
I hope my story offers hope to anyone who finds themselves in any type of adversity. Life can be messy, all of us face some type of misfortune. Thankfully not everyone has a catastrophic illness to deal with, but we will all encounter unavoidable bumps along the road of life. The five lessons I share in the book may help make those bumps seem a little bit smoother.
Show Up
Find Your Cheerleader
Kindness Is Free
Work Hard
Never Give Up
QUESTION #5: BOOST
Cashiers, CEOs, contractors or customer service reps, we all need grace flowing into us and back out into the world. How does the Holy Spirit invigorate your work? And how do you know it's God when it happens?
Prayer has always been a big part of my life. Although it has never been something I felt comfortable doing out loud.
In the first few days after Lauren’s accident, my faith was my anchor. Despite my daughter’s grim prognosis, I had an overwhelming sense of peace that everything was going to be okay! God was with me in that ICU room.
Many times throughout Lauren’s recovery I have felt as if I was fighting a losing battle. A meaningful recovery was too far out of reach. On those occasions, something or someone always showed up to show me the way. A new therapy to try, a different specialist in another state to see, or sometimes just a story from a friend who hadn’t seen Lauren in a while and was impressed with her progress. Those are what I like to call God winks. I don’t believe in coincidences; God is in complete control. He works through all of us. When we get the urge to reach out to others, I believe the Holy Spirit is guiding us every step of the way.
Traumatic brain injuries (TBIs) are tough because progress is slow. During Lauren’s recovery, my faith was tested more times than I care to count. Still, I always knew that God was with me, and he was the one showing me the way. I was never alone.
QUESTION #6: inspire
Scripture and tradition beckon us into the rich and varied actions that open our hearts to the presence of God. So spill it, which spiritual practice is workin' best for you right now?
When Lauren was in ICU, an old church song, “You Are Near” played in my head constantly. I downloaded a version on iTunes and listened to it on repeat every single day. These lyrics became my theme song:
Yahweh, I know you are near
Standing always at my side
You guard me from the foe
And you lead me in ways everlasting
Lord, you have searched my heart
And you know when I sit and when I stand
Your hand is upon me
Protecting me from death
Keeping me from harm
During lent every year, I always try and add something good instead of giving something up. My go-to has always been to find three random people every day and to pray for them. The catch is that it can’t be anyone I know. You never know if the person standing next to you at the deli counter or the person you drive past at the bus stop needs prayers. I have done this for years. It no longer feels forced, and it is often the favorite part of my day.
Even though it has been eight years since the accident, I still cling to my ever-growing “God songs” playlist on iTunes. It is part of our routine on the drive to every one of our speaking engagements.
These days, I have been super busy in my office answering emails and scheduling Lauren and me for media events and speaking engagements. Now, when I say, “Alexa, play Christian music,” I feel gratitude. What a change from the days I listened to “You Are Near” on repeat while I was paralyzed with fear. God is so good!
QUESTION #7: FOCUS
Our email subscribers get free ebooks featuring our favorite resources — lots of things that have truly impacted our faith lives. But you know about some really great stuff, too. What are three resources that have impacted you?
Back in the early 1990s, I was a busy stay-at-home mom and in-home daycare provider. A priest friend of mine told me about a Catholic theologian named Scott Hahn. When the kids went down for a nap, I would listen to Scott’s talks on his conversion story on my cassette tape player in my kitchen. I recently found Scott again on Facebook and YouTube. It is so much easier to be inspired by Scott by turning on my computer as opposed to waiting for my new cassette tapes to arrive in the mail. Wow, I’m old!
Second, one of my favorite podcasts is “Live Inspired” by John O’Leary. John is a fellow St. Louisan. His podcasts feature some of the most inspirational people on the planet, including himself.
The third tool that I feel has been the most helpful for me is to attend mass every week. Many times, I get in a funk and don’t feel like going. I know in my heart that when I feel like skipping out, that is when I need God the most. God handed our family a miracle on a silver platter. I am eternally grateful and feel as if skipping out on church because I want to sleep in is incredibly selfish!
We all have things we cling to to survive (or thrive) in tough times. Name one resource you’ve found indispensable in this current season — and tell us what it's done for you.
After I got the call about Lauren’s accident, I packed quickly. When I arrived at the airport, I realized I forgot to pack my rosary.
My oldest daughter had been in contact with Lauren’s employer (Lauren was on a business trip). Her boss arranged for someone to leave a rosary for me in Lauren’s hospital room. It was waiting for me when I arrived. That blue rosary became my lifeline. I would sit in the chair in the corner of her room and pray the rosary for hours. In those days, that’s all I could do. I wasn’t even allowed to touch Lauren. Her brain damage was so severe that even a simple touch would cause something called storming. With storming, which is common with brain injuries, Lauren’s nervous system could easily go haywire, so we were asked not to touch her as it could cause overstimulation.
That rosary meant so much to me. It offered me a great deal of comfort and also something to cling to when I was unable to hold Lauren’s hand.
QUESTION #8: dream
God is continually stirring new things in each of us. So, give us the scoop! What’s beginning to stir in you but not yet fully awakened? What can we expect from you in the future?
The current buzz around my book and spike in speaking engagements have been an amazing feeling. As always, I give glory to God. I’m excited that our story has resonated with so many people. I have heard from several people over the years who said that Lauren’s story renewed their faith in God. For myself, I often must take a step backward to remember how truly amazing Lauren’s recovery has been.
My parents gifted me a strong foundation of church, faith and love. I am proud that I was able to do the same with my kids. I wholeheartedly believe that there is no greater gift you can give your children than the gift of faith.
Fear does something to us — not just emotionally but physically, too. Over time, constant fear can weaken our immune system, cause cardiovascular damage, create ulcers or irritable bowel syndrome and decrease fertility, according to the University of Minnesota.
Thankfully, as Christians, we’re not called to lives defined by fear. Instead, we’re commanded to “be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might” (Ephesians 6:10, ESV).
This doesn’t mean we never feel scared or weak. When Colleen sat by her unconscious daughter’s bedside shortly after the accident, she felt anything but strong.
But she prayed. She sought God. She leaned on his strength because her own wasn’t enough.
That’s what it looked like for Colleen to “be strong in the Lord.” What does it look like for you today?
Colleen Murphy is a wife, mother of seven, author and public speaker. In 2013, tragedy struck Colleen’s family when her second-oldest daughter, Lauren, was hit by a car and suffered severe brain damage. With the help of specialists from all over the country, her family and friends, as well as her strong faith, Colleen was able to help Lauren recover. Today, the two speak together as a team, inspiring thousands of people by sharing the details of Lauren’s story. Colleen lives just outside of St. Louis, Missouri, with her husband, Dave.
