Emily Hunter McGowin
12 min read ⭑
“With Jesus as our guide, our focus changes from emulating an idealized family blueprint to practicing daily apprenticeship to Christ’s love. In that sense, things are both more and less complicated than we imagine. More complicated because there’s just so much in our society today that hinders family apprenticeship. But less complicated because there are only a few things that are really, truly necessary.”
When Dr. Emily Hunter McGowin isn’t exploring forest preserves or playing Dungeons & Dragons with her husband, she’s busy serving as an Anglican priest, teaching theology at Wheaton College and writing. In the last 10 years, she’s authored three books — “Quivering Families,” “Christmas: The Season of Life and Light” and “Households of Faith” — while also contributing to numerous other books and writing online.
Read on to learn why Emily’s taking up ballet again at 40, what she’s discovering about “the communion of the saints,” and how resistance and hurts help her pinpoint opportunities for growth. She also shares how growing up with an abusive alcoholic father has impacted her and what she’s doing to heal. Be sure to read to the end to find out which books and apps are shaping her spiritual life.
QUESTION #1: ACQUAINT
The meals we enjoy are about so much more than the food we eat. So how does a “go-to” meal at your favorite hometown restaurant reveal the true you behind your web bio?
In my 40-plus years, I have lived in northern Virginia, southern Ohio, Denver Metro and Chicagoland. But I spent my adolescent and young adult years in North Texas, so I think that’s what feels most like my hometown — even though we haven’t lived there since 2008.
When my husband and I were first married, we lived in a rural town a few hours south of Dallas. He was a youth pastor for a local church, and I attended seminary at Baylor’s Truett Seminary. Almost every Sunday after church, we ended up at Gilberto’s, a local Tex-Mex place that had the tastiest chips and salsa. They had oversize, chunky wooden tables with benches, and we could cram a bunch of people into a single booth.
Our go-to order was to split the combo fajitas (chicken, steak and shrimp) with extra handmade tortillas — for dipping in the salsa, of course. What a feast that was! We had countless formative conversations in those booths and forged some lifelong friendships too.
Pastoral ministry can be isolating and lonely work, but those weekly meals allowed us to practice vulnerability and learn how to share ourselves with others. To this day, shared meals remain a vital part of our family life and church life. In fact, our church meets on Sunday evenings precisely so we can have a communal meal afterward. I need to make a request that we have fajitas soon!
Timothy Dykes; Unsplash
QUESTION #2: REVEAL
We’ve all got quirky proclivities and out-of-the-way interests. So what are yours? What so-called “nonspiritual” activity do you love engaging in that also helps you find essential spiritual renewal?
People who know me or follow my work know that I love to play Dungeons & Dragons. My family has been playing together and with friends since 2020. I love D&D because it’s collaborative storytelling, which is imaginative, improvisational and just plain fun. And at a time when we’re all very distractible, role-playing games invite you to be fully present at the table with your fellow players. I’ve found playing with my children especially delightful.
But when I’m not playing D&D for fun, you’ll find me taking adult classes at a local dance studio. From ages 4 to 18, ballet was my whole life. I spent most afternoons and weekends taking classes, rehearsing or performing. And I spent most of my summers studying with professional dance companies. But in my senior year of high school, I fell in love with biblical studies and theology, and I left dance behind. However, in the past year, I have been coming back to my roots in dance, and once I got over the self-consciousness (leotards at 40 — are you kidding me?), I’ve loved every minute of it.
Dancing gets me out of my head and focused on my breath and body. Dancing reminds me that I exist for more than just what I produce or what I do for others. I am free to do things simply because they bring me joy. When I momentarily lose myself in the movement, I know at a deep level that I exist because God wants me to, and my existence, my body, is good. I am definitely not dancing as beautifully as I did when I was 18, but I am aspiring to beauty, and that does a lot to keep me sane these days.
QUESTION #3: CONFESS
Every superhero has a weakness; every human too. We’re just good at faking it. But who are we kidding? We’re all broken and in this thing together. So what’s your kryptonite, and how do you confront its power head-on?
I grew up the oldest child in a family with an abusive alcoholic father. That kind of upbringing can lead children down a few different paths, but I took the high-achieving, people-pleasing, perfectionist route.
As a means of survival, I learned very early on to ignore my gut, suppress my feelings and prioritize others’ well-being over my own. It’s no surprise, then, that that little girl became a woman with porous boundaries and a chronic inability to say no. When a person like that goes into helping fields like teaching and pastoral ministry — whew! It’s the perfect setup for a lifetime of anxiety, depression and burnout.
Thankfully, I have loved ones who have helped me recognize my woundedness in these areas and provide the relational support I need as I pursue healing. I have also found professional therapy immensely valuable. There are things I just couldn’t see and name without an objective and skilled third party. And there’s great power in learning to see yourself and re-narrate your story truthfully. It’s hard work! But I think it’s necessary work in our journey of sanctification. To paraphrase Paulo Freire, accurate perception is necessary for liberation.
QUESTION #4: FIRE UP
Tell us about your toil. How are you investing your professional time right now? What’s your current obsession? And why should it be ours?
I am a theologian, and I am passionate about the intersection of Christian theology and practice — how faith gets embodied by real people in real communities. I’ve spent the last 10 years thinking theologically about family, which resulted in my latest book, “Households of Faith: Practicing Family in the Kingdom of God” (now available anywhere books are sold!). My aim in that book is to help Christian families understand their purpose in relation to the church and God’s kingdom. When we do that, with Jesus as our guide, our focus changes from emulating an idealized family blueprint to practicing daily apprenticeship to Christ’s love. In that sense, things are both more and less complicated than we imagine. More complicated because there’s just so much in our society today that hinders family apprenticeship. But less complicated because there are only a few things that are really, truly necessary.
With “Households of Faith” complete, though, I am turning my attention to what the Apostles’ Creed calls “the communion of saints.” Why am I making that move? In my work as a professor, I am finding students increasingly disillusioned with Christian institutions, churches especially, and faltering in their Christian commitment. In my experience, those struggling to maintain faith are not seriously doubting core doctrines like the Trinity or Christ’s resurrection. Rather, they are no longer convinced the gospel makes a difference because it fails to produce a living and holy community that bears witness to the way of Jesus. Without a community of embodied witness, the gospel appears to them incoherent and impotent.
So I am interested in what the communion of saints is, what it means and why it matters for Christians in our contemporary moment. I’m asking questions like: How is a sanctified community made? What makes the saints holy? What role does the communion of saints play in personal and communal holiness? What is the impact of sin, past and present, on our communion? My students really need — and I really need! — hope for embodied gospel witness, something we can draw upon for encouragement and practical wisdom today. I want to help discern that and communicate it to others.
QUESTION #5: BOOST
Cashiers, CEOs, contractors or customer service reps, we all need grace flowing into us and back out into the world. How does the Holy Spirit invigorate your work? And how do you know it’s God when it happens?
Somewhat paradoxically, I find that the Holy Spirit often invigorates my work when I am encountering something perplexing or frustrating — and when I am at the most challenging points in my creative process. In Steven Pressfield’s book “The War of Art,” he calls the part of you that blocks your work’s progress “Resistance.” Resistance is the mysterious power that discourages, stumps and, ultimately, paralyzes your important work.
The other thing Pressfield says that I find to be deeply true is that Resistance “points due north.” In other words, the place where you encounter Resistance is precisely the place where you need to lean in — and, I would add, precisely the place where the Holy Spirit is active to bring beauty out of chaos.
Related to this is something I learned from theologian Mary McClintock Fulkerson: theology is done at the scene of the wound. Her point is that disjunction births invention; brokenness generates new thinking.
This is not fun to experience, of course. No one wants to romanticize wounds, least of all me. But I can’t deny my experience that it has often been at the sites of my deepest pain that something new begins to grow. Think of the wounds in Christ’s crucified body. They are truly horrible and scandalous. And somehow, by the power of the God who is love, they are also made into locations of divine power. Like water and blood pouring from the Savior’s side, wounds are places where the triune God is at work doing a new thing in the world. It’s very hard to keep this in mind when I’m walking through the valley of the shadow of death. But I try.
QUESTION #6: inspire
Scripture and tradition beckon us into the rich and varied habits that open our hearts to the presence of God. So let us in. Which spiritual practice is working best for you in this season?
In this season, corporate worship has become vital to my ability to hear from God. I know I’m supposed to say that because I’m a pastor, basically a “professional holy person,” but it’s the truth. Even pastors have days when they aren’t “feeling it.” But on those days, I always find something in the liturgy (we’re an Anglican church) that reorients my heart, mind, soul or strength back to God.
Hearing the story of God read aloud publicly, voicing prayers of lament and protest and praise with others, standing together and confessing the ancient creed, walking up with empty hands outstretched to receive the body and blood of Christ — all these things function like small revivals to my weary soul.
I can tell that I am in desperate need of the faith of my Christian siblings to help me keep faith. And for those who are physically and mentally able, nothing can really substitute for embodied corporate worship. With my siblings present, I don’t feel the need to muster up the “right” emotions. I can lean on the liturgy to guide me and gain strength and hope by joining my body and voice to theirs. With them surrounding me, I know the Father is with us, Christ is among us and the Spirit is here.
QUESTION #7: FOCUS
Looking backward, considering the full sweep of your unique faith journey and all you encountered along the way, what top three resources stand out to you? What changed reality and your heart?
As a major nerd, it’s probably inevitable that the top three resources that have been transformative for me are books. The first I read when I was in my early 20s: “The Divine Conspiracy: Rediscovering Our Hidden Life in God” by Dallas Willard. I had been a Christian since my teen years, but I had never understood what Jesus’ preaching of the kingdom of God had to do with anything or how I as a regular person could experience the kingdom of God. Willard’s book helped me understand that Jesus is not just my Savior but also my Teacher — the one who shows us how to live abundant lives today.
The second I read about 10 years ago: “Revelations of Divine Love” by Julian of Norwich. Julian was a Medieval English anchoress, someone who lived in a one-room cell that adjoined a church and devoted her life to prayer, contemplation and spiritual counsel to the community. Her revelations are accounts of visions she claims to have received from God and what she understands to be their spiritual and theological meaning. Some of them will stretch 21st-century readers. But I would say that no other book has made me love God as much as this one.
The third resource I have to recommend is C. René Padilla’s writings on misión integral (or holistic/integral mission), especially “Mission Between the Times: Essays on the Kingdom.” Padilla was an Ecuadorian minister and theologian who contributed a tremendous amount to global Christianity in the 20th century. There’s much one could say about his work, but I think his words to the Lausanne Conference summarize things well: “Jesus Christ came not just to save my soul but to form a new society.” Padilla has been my teacher for the past few years as I’ve been learning what the whole gospel means for the whole person and whole of society today.
We all have things we cling to to survive or even thrive in our fast-paced, techno-driven world. How have you been successful in harnessing technology to aid in your spiritual growth?
Since turning 40, the practice of memento mori, or remembering one’s death, has become really important to me. It may seem morbid to us, but the Christian tradition has taught for a long time that being mindful of one’s future death, however near or far it may be, is essential to living a faithful life before God.
A couple of years ago, I downloaded the WeCroak app (what a name, right?), which has a singular purpose: five times a day, every day, it sends you a reminder: “Don’t forget, you’re going to die.” The timing is entirely random, so you never know where you’ll receive notifications. I have been notified of my coming death while impatiently waiting in traffic, sitting in church, struggling with a writing project and ruminating over a poorly executed class. Each time, it briefly disrupts the moment and brings my creaturely limitations to the front of my mind once again. Whatever it is I’m struggling with, it will eventually pass away just as I will eventually pass away. That doesn’t mean it’s not important, but it does mean its importance is limited. And that makes a huge difference to my overall health and well-being.
QUESTION #8: dream
God’s continually stirring new things in each of us. So give us the scoop! What’s beginning to stir in you but not yet fully awakened? What can we expect from you in the future?
I have recently entered a new phase of my career as a tenured professor. That status, which takes around seven years to achieve, gives you a certain degree of stability and, with that, freedom. But freedom is both exhilarating and terrifying!
For now, I know I want to return to the posture of a learner for a while. When you’re a junior professor, there’s a lot of pressure to prove what you know and demonstrate your worth. (Maybe that’s why I’ve published three books in 10 years!) But now, I want to focus on reading more broadly than I have in the past, listening to voices beyond the U.S. mainstream, like our Native siblings and siblings in the Global South. I know my ability to see clearly and name reality accurately depends on the insights of others, and I want to glean as much as I can before I begin writing what’s next. This is a little scary, of course. No one likes to admit what they don’t know. But I am convinced that longevity as an Anglo Christian pastor and theologian in the U.S. is going to require a lot more listening and learning from me. I pray I can be faithful to that invitation.
One simple exhortation at the end of the book of Colossians always stands out to me: “And say to Archippus, ‘See that you fulfill the ministry that you have received in the Lord’” (Col. 4:17, ESV).
Why did Paul feel the need to tell Archippus to persevere in his ministry God? Could it be that Archippus was facing intense opposition — internal or external, from other people or from the enemy? And if he gave in to that opposition and gave up his ministry, what would he miss out on? How would it affect the people he could’ve ministered to?
It reminds me of what Emily said earlier in her interview: “The place where you encounter Resistance is precisely the place where you need to lean in — and, I would add, precisely the place where the Holy Spirit is active to bring beauty out of chaos.”
Take a moment to reflect: where are you encountering the most resistance in your life? How might God want to use that area to bring him glory, transform your heart and impact others?
The Rev. Dr. Emily Hunter McGowin is an associate professor of theology at Wheaton College. She is also a priest in the Anglican diocese of Churches for the Sake of Others (C4SO). She is the author of Quivering Families: The American Quiverfull Movement and Evangelical Theology of the Family (Fortress Press, 2018), Christmas: The Season of Life and Light (IVP, 2023) and Households of Faith: Practicing Family in the Kingdom of God (IVP, 2025). She has also coedited and contributed chapters to a number of other books and writes periodically online. She lives in Chicagoland with her husband, Ronnie, and their three children.
