Evan Koons
11 min read ⭑
“My Savior is a good doctor more than he is a judge. I tell him what ails me. I tell him how sick with sin I’ve become. Together, we figure out a path forward. He gives me medicine. And I return for constant check-ups. ”
QUESTION #1: ACQUAINT
There’s much more to food than palate and preference. How does a go-to meal at your favorite hometown restaurant reveal the true you behind the web bio?
This is easy. I think my go-to order means a few things: One, I have a high metabolism. Two, I’m a glutton for punishment — be it intestinal or arterial. Three, I love white bread. Four, I like making a darn spectacle of myself.
Let me explain what all that means. You see, I grew up in Dearborn, Michigan. There was this restaurant-type-diner called The Red Apple. I loved going there as a kid because they had little jukeboxes at the tables. You could play Elvis or the Beatles or Billy Joel, and a ton of others. I thought it was so cool.
Anyway, over time, the Red Apple became Leon’s. They got rid of the music, but we were hooked. Many Sundays after church, we’d go grab food as a family. My go-to was simple but abundant — two fried eggs over medium, three orders of white toast (dry...thank you, Elwood Blues) and a grilled cheese sandwich with a garnish of (extra) dill pickles. That’s what I got every time. And I ate the whole thing — every time.
Gordon Cowie; Unsplash
QUESTION #2: REVEAL
We’ve all got quirky proclivities and out-of-the-way interests. So, what are yours? What so-called “nonspiritual” activities do you love and help you find spiritual renewal?
Well, first of all, I don’t really see a distinction between spiritual and nonspiritual. I believe God is “everywhere present and filling all things,” as we regularly pray in the Eastern Orthodox Church. In and through him all things hold together and have their being. I think the base is sacred, and we just desecrate things. Ok, putting the soapbox away now.
There are two things I love to do: 1) shine shoes and 2) listen to and play music.
I love shining shoes because it’s creative and restorative. It’s a physical activity. It’s hard to mess up. It’s a quick victory, too. Beginning, middle and end — a typical good shoeshine only takes about 15 minutes. Mirror shines, where the shoe reflects like a mirror, take about an hour for me (which is also a wonderful waste of time). It’s extremely hard to feel bad or disappointed at the end of a shoeshine. It’s almost always fulfilling. And when I shine shoes for others, 99.999% of the time, they’re happier about everything when the shine is complete.
I think I like shining shoes because, creatively, it gets me out of my head. It gets my brain distracted. It puts me literally and figuratively in touch with something and, many times, someone else. A lot of times it helps to shift my perspective or to reset it in a way that isn't scary or threatening.
Then there’s music. Music is probably my first love. I can’t sing worth a lick, though. (Is that a saying?) I lose all sense of time when I’m plucking around on my guitar and learning new songs or licks — guitar licks, that is. Music is where I feel most at home.
QUESTION #3: CONFESS
Every superhero has a weakness. Every human too. We're just good at faking it. But who are we kidding? We’re broken and in this thing together. So, what’s your kryptonite and how do you hide it?
Let’s see, where do I start? I think I’ll unpack my Enneagram number here. I’m a 7 with a 6 wing. That personality type is called “The Entertainer.” What that means for me, I think, is that I struggle for stillness — peace is probably a better word. I have moments of peace, for sure, but they remain ashes for me. That’s what I want most in my life. In my mind, in my body, in my soul … peace without any regard for what’s happening around me. I want to be peace.
Here’s a story that sums it up a bit, I think. I played basketball for a while growing up (although I was never any good). The coach would put me in the game and I’d get three fouls in less than 30 seconds. My coach would yell my name across the court. Pumping his hands, he’d mouth two words, “Settle. Down.”
Right. Settle down. Got it.
But I wanted all the blocks, all the points, all the glory, all the “everywhere and everything” all at once. And on top of all that, I was terrified in the midst of it.
How do I hide it? Prayer and shoe shining — or any combination of the two.
QUESTION #4: FIRE UP
Tell us about your toil. How are you investing your professional time right now? What’s your obsession? And why should it be ours?
Professionally, I’m all over the place. Auditioning, acting, writing, hustling. Right now, I’m excited to get Camp Manna out to the masses. It’s such an absurdly silly and profound little movie about life at Christian summer camp. If you’ve spent any time at an evangelical Christian camp, this movie is for you. It’s made for you by people who experienced it, too! It’s a celebration of and a nostalgic look back at all the ridiculous, profound and life-changing moments that were overflowing at every Christian summer camp.
Let’s be real: Miracles happen at Christian summer camp. Here’s mine. I was so scared of the bathrooms at my Christian summer camp that I didn’t poop for the whole week. The. Whole. Week. Yes, seven days. I’m pretty sure I should have died — and, yet, here I am. One word: miracle.
Seriously, though. “Camp Manna” is the feel-good movie that takes me back to my childhood, to summer camp and most importantly to “faith like a child.”
QUESTION #5: BOOST
Cashiers, CEOs, contractors or customer service reps, we all need grace flowing into us and back out into the world. How does the Holy Spirit invigorate your work? And how do you know it's God when it happens?
These questions are so good. And so hard! But I’ll answer as best I can with another story.
Some time ago, I was at a movie pitching conference in California at one of the largest film markets in the world. There were hundreds of people in the room. Independent producers were on the stage pitching their projects to some big-time producers. The goal was to get one of these big shots to read your script.
At some point, the moderator sent a champagne bucket through the crowd. He said, “If you think you can pitch better than this, throw your business card into the bucket and if we draw your name, you’ll have three minutes to pitch your idea.”
Out of all those people, guess who got picked. This guy! Me!
I went up there, pitched my buddy’s movie, and I fricking killed it. The room went nuts. The big-shot producers loved it. They asked to read the script. I couldn’t believe it — they asked to read the script! The room went nuts again. I got featured in Variety Magazine, and for the next two days, I took meetings and pitched again and again and again.
And that movie was not “Camp Manna.” You’ve never seen the movie I pitched that day because it was never made even though we had so much amazing traction, hope and interest. Was God in it? Why would God open so many ludicrous doors only to close them?
I don’t know. I don’t really care, either.
I think the Holy Spirit invigorates everything all the time. And that means I stop trying to figure it all out. That stuff is above my pay grade. My job is simply to prepare, show up to the task at hand, serve, take risks and seek out opportunities. And most importantly, in all of that, I’m called to be of service, to sacrifice, to be kind and gentle, patient and self-controlled. And then, regardless of the outcome, my goal is to give thanks and magnify God. Maybe the question isn’t so much whether or not “God is in it” but rather whether “I’m in it with God.” Just verbally processing here.
QUESTION #6: inspire
Scripture and tradition beckon us into the rich and varied actions that open our hearts to the presence of God. So, spill it, which spiritual practice is workin' best for you right now?
Oh, for the love of Pete, I have no idea! I’m a recent convert (three years, I think) to Eastern Orthodoxy (EO). We have all kinds of practices: daily prayers, weekly fasting and almsgiving. They’re all part of my life — and I struggle with each of them. I also struggle to talk about them. I’m still the same sinner I always was. Let’s face it, as an Enneagram 7w6, if it’s not a party, if it’s not fun and exciting, or if it doesn’t feel good, I don’t really want to do it.
I’ll refrain from using the word “best” when it comes to spiritual practices, but right now I’m finding Orthodox confession to be such a gift in my life. Even though it terrifies me.
Let me couch this with a side note, though: Please don’t take this to mean you should go find someone and confess your sins to them. That’d be unwise. I’m speaking specifically about me here. And I have to say this for the same reason lawnmower companies have to put pictures warning us not to put our hands into the running mower blades — because inevitably, someone will do it.
As I was saying, confession is a gift. It’s done during the service in the Nave (the sanctuary), out in the open, in full sight of everyone. This terrifies me. I fear I could be judged. Heard. Judged some more. Scorned. Thrown right out on my ear! (This has not happened yet.)
Still, despite the fear, I step to my priest. He stands over a lit candle. We begin to pray. Sometimes I list the litany of my sins, written on paper so I don’t get distracted. (When confession is over, I burn that list in the fire pit outside the church.) Sometimes my priest simply says, “My son, what troubles you?” Without fail, my sin is always met with his mercy, love and compassion. Never judgment.
This is new to me. This is deeply healing. This is life-creating.
My Savior is a good doctor more than he is a judge. I tell him what ails me. I tell him how sick with sin I’ve become. Together, we figure out a path forward. He gives me medicine. And I return for constant check-ups.
Confession heals me. It keeps me humble and honest (I truly am the chief of sinners). Confession destroys my ego. It makes more room in me to show love, mercy and patience. It guides my life to repentance and healing.
What’s more, something important happens for me when I confess my sins out loud and then hear out loud that I am forgiven. It’s not an idea or a learned belief in my head, it’s a truth declared in reality.
QUESTION #7: FOCUS
Our email subscribers get free ebooks featuring our favorite resources — lots of things that have truly impacted our faith lives. But you know about some really great stuff, too. What are some resources that have impacted you?
Finally, a softball question! Without fail, “Jayber Crow” by Wendell Berry is a must-read for anyone on a faith journey. Somehow, when Berry writes the life story of a barber in a small town, he writes the story of the whole world, you and me included. This book asks the questions you’ve always had about life and the ones you couldn’t put into words. It answers none of them, but still, you are satisfied.
Number two is “Manifesto: The Mad Farmer Liberation Front.” It’s a poem by Wendell Berry. Memorize it. Practice it. Beautiful things will happen, I promise you.
Lastly, as an artist, I listen to two podcasts religiously — “Song Exploder” and “Broken Record” with Malcolm Gladwell. Both of them are about the artistic process of creating music. I think they’re a goldmine for the creative process in general. They teach me to detach myself from the things I make, to keep myself open to possibilities and to remind myself that my artistic endeavors come when they’re ready but also when I’m diligent, prepared and not trying to force things.
We all have things we cling to to survive (or thrive) in tough times. Name one resource you’ve found indispensable in this current season — and tell us what it's done for you.
Does sleep count? It comes from Jesus, and combined with a couple of swigs of Nyquil, it’s relatively easy to find. I’ll be here all week. Try the veal.
Seriously, though, if we’re talking about any kind of resource, I’m a big fan of Pamplemousse (Grapefruit) La Croix sparkling water. You can find it at just about any supermarket, I think. Bubly is ok. Aldi’s Bella Vie is a distant third, but I’ll drink it.
I’m digging La Croix right now because it’s refreshing, has a carbonated bite, keeps me hydrated and generally healthy, and won’t rot my teeth like pop or lead me into making poor life decisions like booze.
If we’re talking spiritual resources, I have my prayer bracelet. It’s a bracelet of 33 knots in memory of the life of Jesus. I use it to help focus and keep track of praying the Jesus Prayer, which says, “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.” The Jesus Prayer is a common prayer we in the Eastern Orthodox Church recite a lot. We may recite it on walks or while moving from one thing to the next, driving or grocery shopping. I might recite it before I have to go talk to my teenage daughter about not letting her date until she’s 30.
Because it’s a bracelet on my wrist, it’s also a constant reminder to pray unceasingly, especially when I can see it out of the corner of my eye after I’ve been playing mindless games on my phone all night.
QUESTION #8: dream
God is continually stirring new things in each of us. So, give us the scoop! What’s beginning to stir in you but not yet fully awakened? What can we expect from you in the future?
Wow. I wish I had some concrete and exciting things to share here, but I don’t! I don’t really dream big. I’m still acting and pursuing roles in film and television. I’d like to land a role in a Western — that would be incredible.
Other than that, I’m still writing for corporate, commercial and creative clients. I’ve started a shoeshine business and am working as a marketing and experience coordinator for a local retail company. I’ve got some music projects, a teleplay and some other online endeavors in the mix, but we’ll see what happens.
My hope is that, no matter what I encounter, I serve well, sacrifice willingly and am grateful for every inconvenient twist and turn. Maybe I do dream big.
Peace is good and healing for the soul. Shame, however, is just the opposite. Guilt will eat away at our peace until there’s none left, leaving us broken and empty.
There’s only one remedy for shame — Jesus. When we repent and put our faith in him, he purifies our hearts from all sin. But does repentance end there? No, just as Evan Koons put it, we need to come in for our “regular check-ups.”
When Jesus washed his disciples’ feet and Peter protested, Jesus told him that if he didn’t wash his feet, “you have no share with me” (John 13:8b, ESV). And when Peter then asked Jesus to wash his entire body, Jesus told him he was already clean and didn’t need another bath. He just needed his feet washed.
Jesus wasn’t talking about physical dirt and grime in this passage. You and I, in Christ, are already clean. And yet every day, the Holy Spirit calls us to confession, to unburden our hearts in his presence, to turn away from every distraction or sin, and to fix our hearts solely on Jesus.
Friend, that is true peace.
Evan Koons is a producer, writer and actor from Grand Rapids, Michigan. Best known for the viral sensation Church Appropriate Dance Moves, Evan co-produced and starred in the comedy Camp Manna opposite Gary Busey and Jimmy Tatro. He was the host and a writer of the series For the Life of the World: Letters to the Exiles. He guest-starred on NBC’s Chicago Fire as well as the movie Pirate’s Code: The Adventures of Mickey Matson starring Christopher Lloyd. He penned the acclaimed hospice documentary Except for Six, a film Ken Burns called “heartfelt and important.” Learn more at EvanKoons.com.
