J.D. Lyonhart
11 min read ⭑
“I feel called to wrestle with all the difficult existential, philosophical and theological doubts and questions so that others don’t have to — or rather so that I can help equip the church and world with the tools to face those doubts for themselves and do so in a way that is simultaneously true to their head and heart.”
As a theologian, philosopher and ordained minister, J.D. Lyonhart doesn’t shy away from asking the big, bold, sometimes divisive questions. Questions like “Do we have free will?”, “If God created the universe, who created God?”, “If Christianity is true, does that mean all other religions are false?” and “What is a Christian social ethic, and how does it play into politics, race, sex and gender?” He explores these kinds of questions on his “Spiritually Incorrect Podcast” and in his books, including “Space God,” “MonoThreeism” and his latest, “The Journey of God: Christianity in Six Movements.”
Join us now as J.D. gets honest about the food that takes him back to high school, how he finds pockets of Sabbath at the end of the day, and the beautiful yet almost comical journey of faith.
QUESTION #1: ACQUAINT
The meals we enjoy are about so much more than the food we eat. So how does a “go-to” meal at your favorite hometown restaurant reveal the true you behind your web bio?
My favorite meal growing up was all-you-can-eat sushi. That may actually need to be italicized to convey the proper tone: all-you-can-eat sushi.
I was a bit of a loner as a child, and going out with friends for sinfully excessive piles of chicken teriyaki was one of the only social rites of passage I managed to pour my whole mind, heart, soul and stomach into. I grew up on the ocean in downtown Vancouver, a big, cosmopolitan city where almost half the population is of Asian descent (Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Filipino, etc.), and so the Asian food was both authentic and fresh from the ocean. When my high school friends and I (who dubbed ourselves the “Big Eaters Club”) ate as much of that food as we could, we felt God’s pleasure.
Of course, that religious sentiment about “God’s pleasure” would have only ever been expressed ironically (and followed swiftly by someone humming “Chariots of Fire”), for Vancouver is also statistically the least churched city in North America. Less than 1-3% of the population attends church regularly on Sunday, and growing up, my family was not part of that 1-3% (at least not initially). It was a crazy, whirlwind series of events that eventually led to my baptism and an equally crazy series of events that led me to later return to Vancouver to serve as the only white pastor in an all-Chinese denomination (they called me “white Godzilla,” which is actually Japanese). And so when I got to return to that all-you-can-eat Japanese culture (supplemented by some glorious Chinese dim sum fusion restaurants), I often went with my own congregation, having titillating spiritual discussions, debates and studies over the meal.
I still look back on those smorgasbords with a borderline gluttonous nostalgia and a love for a food genre that saw me through each stage of my spiritual journey and that epitomizes the increasingly global and intercultural conversations the church so desperately needs to be having right now. And I still think about the people who sat across that table from me, some I’m still close with, others less so and others still who are no longer with us at all. And I feel so thankful for every one of those fleeting meals and moments. Even the ones I threw up after.
HUUM; Unsplash
QUESTION #2: REVEAL
We’ve all got quirky proclivities and out-of-the-way interests. So what are yours? What so-called “nonspiritual” activity do you love engaging in that also helps you find essential spiritual renewal?
OK, this is my secret me-time plan. I walk to the YMCA, get into the sauna and blast Sufjan Stevens songs while doing some Medieval monastic breathing exercises. Then I jump into a cold shower for one minute, then jump back into the sauna for 10 minutes, then another cold shower for one minute, which is basically a Scandinavian spa technique to relax your body into a meditative state (and is the closest most polite Christians will publicly get to getting high).
Then I whip out my phone, listen to my prayer app, read some Scripture and try to spend some time talking to God in this most sacred and holy YMCA dressing room sauna. Then I walk home and lie in my hammock in the backyard, reading Tolkien books while listening to Enya and chewing Hubba Bubba. This is the way.
QUESTION #3: CONFESS
Every superhero has a weakness; every human, too. We’re just good at faking it. But who are we kidding? We’re all broken and in this thing together. So what’s your kryptonite, and how do you confront its power head-on?
My twin demons are anxiety and insecurity, and like actual twins, they sometimes like to dress up as one another. I get deeply insecure about my interactions with others (e.g., Did I look OK tonight? Was that joke too far? Should I have asked them more about themselves?), and then my anxiety runs amok with that till I’m awake at 2 a.m. rereading old text messages to make sure everything is OK and that I’m OK and that everyone doesn’t hate me.
Now, I’ve never fully defeated those twin demons, and I doubt I ever will, at least this side of heaven. But I have made real strides against them. Yes, I often still feel anxious for no particular reason, but I no longer wake up four times a night to double-check that the front door is unlocked. Yes, I often still feel fat and hideous, but I no longer wear a T-shirt in the pool. Yes, I still struggle with jeering voices in my head telling me I’m a big, dumb, worthless fat, fat fatty. But where those voices once mocked freely and unchallenged for hours, these days, I usually remember within a few minutes to drown them out by repeating Psalm 70 to myself over and over till I’m calm. Yes, I still worry about money and work and career, but I no longer bring my phone into the house, instead leaving it charging in the garage, where it can’t lurk over every moment of rest and family. Yes, I still struggle with feeling like a failure, but I no longer apologize 10 times for every mistake (just three or four times, like a good Canadian). Yes, I still replay social situations in my head after the fact, but I no longer let that drive my actions in the moment, with people now often amazed to discover that this big, loud, boisterous man is actually far more afraid of them than they are of him.
So I’m still a mess, but a contained mess. Like a city dump (teasing).
QUESTION #4: FIRE UP
Tell us about your toil. How are you investing your professional time right now? What’s your current obsession? And why should it be ours?
Honestly, I’m mostly just trying to be a good dad and husband right now. But when I’m not doing that, I tend to be trying to find novel answers to pressing, existential, cosmic questions, such as: Do we have free will? If God created the universe, who created God? If Christianity is true, does that mean all other religions are false? How do love and justice come together, not only in an abstract sense but practically in how I treat others in my life, job, church and family? Should we just read the Bible, or should we also consult church tradition, history, philosophy, science, sociology, musicians and poets? What is a Christian social ethic, and how might it relate to politics, race, sex, gender and all the stuff everyone is yelling about from every side? Should I be asking all these deep intellectual questions, or should I just shut up, sell all my possessions and give to the poor? Does science disprove God, the Bible or prayer? Where was God in the Holocaust, and does everything really happen for a reason?
Basically, I feel called to wrestle with all the difficult existential, philosophical and theological doubts and questions so that others don’t have to — or rather so that I can help equip the church and world with the tools to face those doubts for themselves and do so in a way that is simultaneously true to their head and heart. Although to be honest, I’m kind of tired of wrestling with these questions and constantly having my faith wrecked and rocked by all those doubts. Which is why, for this next season, I’m really just trying to be a good dad and father. Oh, and a good self-promoter for my latest book, “The Journey of God: Christianity in Six Movements.” Hence, this interview.
QUESTION #5: BOOST
Cashiers, CEOs, contractors or customer service reps, we all need grace flowing into us and back out into the world. How does the Holy Spirit invigorate your work? And how do you know it’s God when it happens?
I definitely do not know for sure when it is God’s Spirit leading me or just my own daft intuitions and desires. In hindsight, I can look back and say, “OK, that was probably God.” But I’ve really only had two or three moments in my life when I’ve felt confident about that.
That said, in the moment itself, I’ve probably been certain it was God hundreds of times. But even though I often look back and realize I was wrong, I don’t mock that “foolish” journey and false certainty; in some ways, it’s precisely what the life of faith is. Faith is thinking you know what you’re talking about and that you know who God is, growing and feeling nurtured through that understanding, then looking back and realizing how much bigger God is than you were giving him credit for and how merciful he was to still meet you in the smallness of your past stupidity.
Faith is also learning to see that past self with the same tenderness that God has, knowing that your current self will probably require that same grace a few years from now as you once again glance backward with embarrassment. And it’s knowing this process will rinse and repeat all the way to heaven, where we’ll reflect back upon the earth with the same endearing look a parent gives a child who’s soiled themselves but with such noble surety.
But also, God works through my writing, and you should buy my book, “The Journey of God.”
QUESTION #6: inspire
Scripture and tradition beckon us into the rich and varied habits that open our hearts to the presence of God. So let us in. Which spiritual practice is working best for you in this season?
My wife and I have wonderfully manic autistic kids who go to bed at 7 p.m., and our habit has sometimes been to collapse in front of the TV immediately after. But a real spiritual discipline for us lately has been not turning the TV on until 8 p.m., forcing ourselves to first sit down on our living room couch together for an hour in order to make space for reading, prayer, listening to music, processing the day together or just sitting and resting in silence while watching the sun settle down once more. I think that rhythm builds a little Sabbath into our frantic cycle, helps us to stop escaping into the cinematic stories of others, creates space for eternity to enter our home and delays the impending murder-suicide for another few days.
QUESTION #7: FOCUS
Looking backward, considering the full sweep of your unique faith journey and all you encountered along the way, what top three resources stand out to you? What changed reality and your heart?
The album “Carrie & Lowell” by Sufjan Stevens. He wrote this after his mother died, and it bursts with tears of life, love, sorrow and Christian faith. His music is literally what I imagine angels sound like. It has helped me through some really difficult times and taught me how to do so through raw and authentic conversations with God and myself.
“The Philosophy of Tolkien” by Peter Kreeft. Reading this book started me on a yearslong Tolkien deep-dive that radically impacted my faith. Tolkien weds together the voice of a storytelling songwriter, the head of an Oxford academic, the broken heart of an orphan who took refuge in his friends only to later lose all of them in WWI and a pure faith that still believes he will see them all again one day across the sea.
Drugs. Anxiety meds have really helped me have a fighting chance to be an occasionally semi-decent teacher, father, husband and child of God. And perhaps I didn’t morally earn the calm and stability that the drugs have so easily given, but that just reminds me all the more that everything is grace and that if I had been born a few hundred years ago (or even just a few decades ago before mental health became more acceptable), I probably would have fallen through the cracks of society and the church and be in a very different place in life and faith.
We all have things we cling to to survive or even thrive in our fast-paced, techno-driven world. How have you been successful in harnessing technology to aid in your spiritual growth?
I try to make sure tech has its place but doesn’t seep into and flood all the other spaces and moments of life. So leaving the phone in the garage when I come home has been a big win. Another win, albeit a counterintuitive one, is when I got the Apple Watch because it allowed me to be connected at a distance to my phone in case someone needed to reach me, without having to actually have my phone in my pocket where I could (and emphatically would) whip it out and scroll through my children’s entire childhood. Additionally, I have to use social media a lot for work and for my podcast, but I only have my social accounts signed in on my work computer, not on my home computer or on my phone. That way, I have a set time and place to get lost in that online world, as well as a set time and place to retreat and be free from it.
QUESTION #8: dream
God’s continually stirring new things in each of us. So give us the scoop! What’s beginning to stir in you but not yet fully awakened? What can we expect from you in the future?
I honestly don’t know. I think I am in a season where God is pushing me to be radically open to what the future might hold and to the possibility that it might look very different from what I’d thought and hoped. But I haven’t felt any clear direction from that yet (other than that I need to stop trying to quickly force a clear direction). For me, I think this is a season of listening. I’ll let you know when and if I hear something.
As humans, made in God’s image, it is our privilege and right to wrestle through deep questions. As Solomon pointed out, “It is the glory of God to conceal things, but the glory of kings is to search things out” (Prov. 25:2, ESV).
And yet, as J.D. pointed out, wrangling with hard-to-answer questions can be exhausting after a while. In those moments, we can find refuge in God’s presence — without the need to figure him out.
If your heart is weary from questions today, may you find rest as the psalmist did:
“O Lord, my heart is not lifted up; my eyes are not raised too high; I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me. But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me. O Israel, hope in the Lord from this time forth and forevermore” (Ps. 131, ESV).
Amen.
J.D. Lyonhart (Ph.D., Cambridge) is a British-Canadian theologian, philosopher, author and ordained minister. He is an associate professor of religion and philosophy at the University of Jamestown, a fellow at the Cambridge Center for the Study of Platonism at Cambridge University and a co-host of the Spiritually Incorrect Podcast. In addition to The Journey of God: Christianity in Six Movements, he also authored Space God: Rejudging a Debate Between More, Newton, and Einstein, as well as MonoThreeism: An Absurdly Arrogant Attempt to Answer All the Problems of the Last 2000 Years in One Night at a Pub.
