Jessie Cruickshank
11 min read ⭑
“I found there was very little written to the ordinary follower of Jesus on the relational dynamics of being a disciple-maker, essentially the EQ of relational, narrative-based disciple-making. Since I’m of the conviction that each person who calls Jesus Lord is also asked by heaven to make a disciple, I wanted to help fill that gap.”
QUESTION #1: ACQUAINT
There’s much more to food than palate and preference. How does a go-to meal at your favorite hometown restaurant reveal the true you behind the web bio?
I come from a town of 1,500 people in middle-of-nowhere Wyoming, so there are no restaurants I would recommend. My mom can’t cook well and neither could the grandmother I grew up knowing, so I will share my favorite wilderness expedition meal — enchies (enchilada stacks).
Enchies are a group project and require a coordinated team effort. Made over a backpacking stove with a Dutch oven frying pan of cast iron, they are made with layers of tortillas, seasoned canned chicken, homemade sauce from tomato paste and cheese finely cut with a pocket knife. But instead of layering everything and baking it, you build it from the inside out, cooking each layer at a time. It starts with one tortilla, layered with the ingredients and cooked until the cheese starts to melt. Then you place another “tort” on top, like a quesadilla, but then the whole thing is flipped so the fresh tort is cooking and the fried tort is up. On top of the cooked tort, you add new layers of sauce, chicken and cheese along with a new tort. When the bottom tort has cooked enough, the whole thing is flipped again and layers are repeated on the cooked side, now face up. It requires the whole food group of four working as a team to precisely build the layers as well as two people to flip the creation as it builds up to eight tortillas.
It gets heavy, and it can get lopsided. I’ve seen more than one miscalculated flip land the whole enchie stack in the dirt. But I love it — building a yummy, gooey creation, layers spiced independently by each person as part of their unique contribution. I’ve eaten this meal at least 100 times in the forest, by alpine lakes, in the desert or on a snow camp. Each culinary collaboration is the unique expression of the group involved. It is my favorite example of the emergent adventure of group cooking.
Mika Matin; Unsplash
QUESTION #2: REVEAL
We’ve all got quirky proclivities and out-of-the-way interests. So what are yours? What so-called “nonspiritual” activities do you love because they help you find spiritual renewal?
I have a few quirky interests — from spaghetti westerns to most outdoor adventure activities to high-altitude mountaineering. When I felt the Lord leading me to apply to graduate school, it was early fall, so I had to race to get in my application and essays and had only one chance to take the qualifying GRE exam.
I was quite stressed about it. My spiritual mentor moonlighted as a local fighting ref and introduced me to an MMA (mixed martial arts) gym. To help with the stress, I decided to train in Muay Thai fighting. To focus my training and give me something to look forward to in case I didn’t get into grad school, I decided I would do a cage fight if my application was denied. I did get into grad school, so I didn’t end up in a real fight. And when I returned from school, I discovered the MMA gym had unfortunately closed.
One day, about four months after returning home, my husband of eight years took me on a drive. He took me to the old high school where the community rec roller derby league was practicing. He opened the car trunk, handed me some used skating gear he had purchased, and said, “You’re doing this now. I am tired of you trying to hit me.” (He’s a no-touching person.) So I learned to roller skate at the age of 30 and played with the league for three years, learning many valuable lessons along the way. But that’s another story.
QUESTION #3: CONFESS
Every superhero has a weakness. Every human, too. We’re just good at faking it. But who are we kidding? We’re broken and in this thing together. So what’s your kryptonite and how do you hide it?
For a long time, I’ve called my mom my kryptonite. Our relationship is complicated as she has dealt with mental health issues my whole life. That’s a lot of years of coping, judging, compensating, resenting, forgiving and being disappointed again. The result is that I’m the worst version of myself when I’m with her. I can be the most spiritually mature person one day, and then my mom comes to visit and I’m losing control and yelling like an unreasonable teenager.
As I’ve gone to therapy over the past few decades, I’ve gained ground in many areas of my life. Much healing has happened, coping mechanisms replaced with freedom and cycles shortened or even broken.
It’s still true that I’m the worst version of myself when I’m with her, but I think about it differently now. Most of us want to be judged by our high marks and the best we can be. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, but I’ve come to measure my progress by how I am when I’m around my mother — my low mark. If I’m more patient with her, I’m confident I’ve grown in patience. If I’m more understanding and compassionate with her, I know I’ve gained ground in stepping out of the judgment seat. She still brings out the worst in me, but that “worst” has made significant improvement, and I’m confident that progress is real and here to stay.
QUESTION #4: FIRE UP
Tell us about your toil. How are you investing your professional time right now? What’s your obsession? And why should it be ours?
I was fortunate to spend almost a decade as part of a real disciple-making community. The wilderness ministry that I co-led was just part of a large group of people who lived life together in a small town — even while attending different churches or finding affinity with different theologies. We were interdenominational, intergenerational people who ate at each other’s houses, recreated together, borrowed each other’s stuff, helped each other do home remodels and discipled one another.
When God moved me into a new job serving in denominational leadership and helping pastors, I saw how spoiled I had been. I started teaching pastors how to create communities like the one I had been in — the kind where ordinary people are treated as equals and peers, and where disciple-making is a group project. I wanted to help people build faith communities where ordinary people are empowered as disciple-makers, pouring into the lives of others just as they are being poured into.
In that season, I noticed there was a gap in resources on disciple-making. Most books on the subject are either the content of discipleship or seminary-lite, looking at theology and spiritual disciplines. Or they’re written to the leader of the church or assume a position, role and power.
I found there was very little written to the ordinary follower of Jesus on the relational dynamics of being a disciple-maker, essentially the EQ of relational, narrative-based disciple-making. Since I’m of the conviction that each person who calls Jesus Lord is also asked by heaven to make a disciple, I wanted to help fill that gap. So I wrote a book called “Ordinary Discipleship,” on how God wires us for the adventure of transformation, and I started a ministry where I develop resources that help catalyze discipleship communities through neuroscience.
QUESTION #5: BOOST
Cashiers, CEOs, contractors or customer service reps, we all need grace flowing into us and back out into the world. How does the Holy Spirit invigorate your work? And how do you know it’s God when it happens?
I started in full-time ministry leadership when I was just 22 years old. I was fresh out of college, and while I had technical outdoor skills and leadership instincts, I was in over my head. My co-leaders, Andrew and Josh, were of the same age and mindset.
We all knew the gravity of the task before us and were moderately aware of our own limitations. So we prayed about everything — and I mean everything. From what vendors to buy food from to potential partnerships to each applicant by name. It was a lifestyle I haven’t forgotten. Even now, I pray about what partnerships to say yes to, what stories to tell, and what tasks to work on next.
I endeavor to be in constant connection with the Holy Spirit in my head, which is not all that hard with my ADHD. I don’t see myself as having “marching orders” that I carry out, apart from connection with God. Rather, I think of the day as a dance with a partner. We move, glide and progress around the clock like it’s a dance floor. Sometimes I stumble and imagine I step on God’s toes. But other times, I stand on God’s feet like a little kid and just enjoy the ride. In this place, with this mindset and heart-set, I feel the flow of the work, the tasks, the day and the projects. If I do not feel that flow, I stop and either rest or reconnect. It makes the work light when the flow is there, and it causes me not to feel alone when I’m stuck or frustrated.
QUESTION #6: inspire
Scripture and tradition beckon us into the rich and varied actions that open our hearts to the presence of God. So spill it: Which spiritual practice is workin’ best for you right now?
Currently, my favorite spiritual practice is praying on the phone a couple of times a week with my best friend. She has been my best friend since my first semester of undergrad, and we’ve journeyed together our entire adult lives. We love praying for each other over the phone and taking turns sharing, updating and ministering to one another. In emergency moments, I can shoot her a text and ask for prayer. When she can, she either texts back or calls. Since she’s also a therapist, she can help me walk through an anxiety attack or process a triggering moment.
I have a different skill set, but I’m just as available to her for comfort or wisdom. What I love most is that at this point, we know each other so incredibly well that we can really feel how God is speaking to one another. It’s like walking with a blindfold on with a person guiding you. After so much practice, you can feel little pressure differences in their hand or the nuance in their voice and learn to be incredibly responsive to even the smallest communication signal. I can provide a level of guidance for her, and I know she can for me as well.
I am who I am today, in part, because of her and her friendship. She has been a key way God speaks to me and leads me — because when I’m in the swirl and not sure if the voice in my head is God’s, she can help me hear more clearly and is there to help guide me through.
QUESTION #7: FOCUS
Our email subscribers get free e-books featuring our favorite resources — lots of things that have truly impacted our faith lives. But you know about some really great stuff, too. What are three resources that have impacted you?
Each of our lives is that accumulation and integration of 1,000 small inputs from 1,000 sources. But not all inputs or sources are equal. For me, there are a few standouts. In my 20s, “Experiencing Father’s Embrace” by Jack Frost helped me see God as a good parent rather than the absent or unsatisfiable parent I believed him to be.
“The Permanent Revolution” by Alan Hirsch and Tim Catchim helped me realize that my main gifting was being apostolic and what that meant. It also started a long season of working with Alan on projects, books and organizations. It essentially changed the course of my life. Alan introduced me to Hans Urs von Balthasar, a Catholic mystic who gave great language to how I encountered God. His writings also challenged me to go deeper and consider how those experiences might integrate into my life and relationships.
I also value teachings by Graham Cooke. I listened to a lot of his sermons when I started in full-time ministry. He would talk about how to stay in ministry, and how to believe God was really a God of love. His Way of the Warrior series particularly spoke to me, inspiring me to see myself as a warrior in spiritual matters and a servant in my relationships with others. That taught me a lot about the leader I wanted to become and is one of the key paradigms I teach other leaders today.
We all have things we cling to in order to survive (or thrive) in tough times. Name one resource you’ve found indispensable in this current season — and tell us what it’s done for you.
These days, I hunger to read large sections of Scripture with no commentary. Instead of seeking what other people have to say about it, I ask Jesus to tell me something, and I ask questions like “What does that even mean?” It’s like a long-form study with a mentor.
As a kid, I memorized a lot of the Bible as part of a church program called Awana. It was a super important part of grounding my life in Scripture. But all the verses were in one specific translation — the New International Version (NIV). These days, I’ve been using a version called the New Living Translation (NLT), which sounds different, so I catch different things. Going back to the original writings in a fresh voice has helped me clean out the noise and focus on what the Bible says. And rather than little bits of Lectio Divina (a practice of breathing through only a few verses), reading the large sections reminds me of the grand meta-narrative.
Right now, I trust God in the little things, but I need to grow in my confidence in his ability to be the author of all things, the great arcs of history. In reading chapters at a time, I can see the large movements like ocean tides, which has been helpful lately since I long to see the bigger picture of what God is doing — or at least have the confidence that he knows what he’s doing.
QUESTION #8: dream
God is continually stirring new things in each of us. So give us the scoop! What’s beginning to stir in you but may not yet be fully awakened? What can we expect from you in the future?
My first book is out and has had a good reception so far. But I’m already working on the second one — “Ordinary Leadership.” I have the outline, the frame and much of the content identified. Again, it’s not new stuff but rather things I’ve been teaching for a while. At this point, it needs to be codified, meaning I need to decide what the best stories are to illustrate points and some strong, pithy statements.
But I also already hear that voice in my head reminding me that there are a million books on leadership and asking what new ideas I have to bring to the conversation. There’s also a new voice, one that I did not expect. This one points to the strong reception of “Ordinary Discipleship” and asks if I think I can do that again. I seriously think it’s better to create new things in a hole or a cave where you don’t know what’s supposed to be impossible. But it will be fine. I’m recklessly obedient, belligerently optimistic and pretty much as stubborn as they come. In the meantime, I plan to try to give out little tastes of content to practice reaching the audience I hope to inspire.
Whether we recognize it or not, our relationships influence us — for better or for worse. And as Jessie mentioned earlier in our interview, some people have a way of dragging us back into old, harmful habits or coping mechanisms. But the opposite is true, too: Healthy relationships can inspire and equip us to know God better and trust him more.
As Paul told Timothy: “So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart” (2 Timothy 2:22, ESV).
This week, let’s ask ourselves, “Who in my life encourages me in my walk with God? How can I prioritize those friendships? And how can I encourage others, too?”
Jessie Cruickshank holds a master’s degree from Harvard in mind, brain and education. She is an ordained minister and a nationally recognized expert in disciple-making and the neuroscience of transformation. She has spent two decades applying neuroeducation research to discipleship, ministry training, experiential learning and organizational development. Jessie is respected globally as a missiological thought leader and a church and denominational consultant. She is the founder of Whoology, the co-founder of 5Q, and a movement leader with V3. Jessie lives and adventures with her family in Colorado. For more information, visit ordinarydiscipleship.com, whoology.co and yourbrainbyjess.com.
