Laura Murray

Sep 3

11 min read ⭑

“Whether at a local church, in a place in the mountains, on Zoom in spiritual direction or in person, I want to continue to be a place and create spaces of nourishment, strengthening, learning, growing and friendship for the good of other people, especially ministry leaders.”

Welcome isn’t about a specific space — it’s about people. Laura Murray believes that truth wholeheartedly, and it drives her ministry as an ordained pastor, speaker, certified spiritual director and author. Putting that principle into practice, she founded the Digital Silent Retreats ministry, providing a virtual place of peace and spiritual restoration for people who want to connect more deeply with God. In the same vein, her latest book, Becoming a Person of Welcome, examines what it means to reflect God’s love and heart for hospitality in our communities.

In today’s interview, Laura invites us into her world, where faithfulness and presence are God-given priorities, where envy and resentment are laid down at the cross, and where wrestling with God is a regular occurrence. Read on to discover the books and habits that impact her the most — and the apps that keep her connected to God and other people.

QUESTION #1: ACQUAINT

Food is always about more than food; it’s also about home and people and love. So how does a go-to meal at your favorite hometown restaurant reveal the true you behind your web bio?

As a first-generation immigrant, “hometown” is hard to nail down. So for me, it truly is where my people are. A favorite spot with my family is Breadwinners in Dallas. It is primarily known for its breakfast, which is my favorite meal. I first experienced it during my graduate school days. It moved into our family rhythms as I pastored, and my family could never celebrate the Sunday holidays together (think Mother’s Day, Father’s Day or Christmas Eve on a Sunday), so we made Saturdays our celebration days.

We go to the restaurant on the Saturday morning before a holiday since most of us are early risers. My husband gets Leo’s Favorite with hollandaise on the side. I go for the Farmhouse scramble that includes potatoes and jalapeño bacon. And they have delicious coffee. My daughter eats a cinnamon roll that overflows the plate, and my son varies it up, being the foodie that he is. Most importantly, the appetizer plate is filled with various sweet breads — banana nut, zucchini, raspberry and more. So good!

One location has an outside patio that overlooks a green space where the kids would run around when they were younger, and we’d sit and linger. Nowadays, we still go as a family, and my husband and I have date breakfasts there. We linger a bit longer. Sometimes it’s about celebrating something, and other times, it’s simply about spending time together to share our latest desires, thoughts and more. Breakfast, sweet breads, good coffee, green space and conversation. A perfect spot.

a flat white at a coffee shop — Unsplash+

QUESTION #2: REVEAL

What “nonspiritual” activity have you found to be quite spiritual, after all? What quirky proclivity, out-of-the-way interest or unexpected pursuit refreshes your soul?

It is easy for me to let everyday little things add up and come to the end of the day feeling like nothing mattered. One way I push back against this is by going to my favorite coffee shop and drinking an oat milk flat white with a touch of chocolate in a “for here” cup. I sit at a table and sip my coffee without a book or my phone and awkwardly stare at a wall or people-watch. I may look weird or creepy, but it is a way of receiving the gift of space, people and coffee and allowing God to provide for me whatever I need in that moment.

Allowing God to meet me and fill me allows the day to be what it is, knowing that mattering and meaning ultimately originate in God, not the things we do. It also combats my hunt for the next most meaningful thing or the thing that excites me and gets me energized.

Nowadays, I find myself wrestling with maturity and wisdom that doesn’t necessarily look for the next dopamine hit that only lasts for a moment but for the richness of what is presently happening and entering into it. This is a discipline because I love dreaming and imagining meaningful moments. Yet choosing to slow down, see what’s in front of me and allow the richness of the present to meet and renew my soul has provided surprising gifts of beauty, joy, meaning and love. Rather than clamoring for mattering and meaning every day or searching for it in the future, I am receiving it from God in the present.

QUESTION #3: CONFESS

Every superhero has a weakness; every human, too. We’re just good at faking it. But who are we kidding? We’re all broken and in this thing together. So what’s your kryptonite, and how do you confront its power?

The words of Prince Caspian in “The Voyage of the Dawn Treader” encapsulate my kryptonite: “I’ve spent too long wanting what was taken from me and not what was given.” Envy and resentment combine forces to create a powerful kryptonite that can take me down and out fast. My envy is around the comfort and privileges that others have that I don’t. Being a woman in leadership in a male-dominated field, my envy often comes up quickly for the opportunities and ease that men seem to have. My resentment then comes in when I reflect on opportunities that were withheld from me or assumptions made of me because of my gender.

Kryptonite not only harms the person but also those around them. If I don’t address the kryptonite or allow God to, it harms me and those around me. There are two ways to take it on — or, really, two ways in which I allow God to take it on. One is moving closer in proximity to people, specifically toward the types of people I envy or resent. It doesn’t have to be the specific person but someone like them. The other way is reflecting on the life of Jesus, and seeing how he responded to the people around him.

Lately, I’ve been reflecting on his resurrection and that, when he returned resurrected, he didn’t blame or resent others. He went about the work he was called to do. He lived out the resurrection life. Living into resurrection life means living without resentment, blame and the joy and beauty God has given to me, and that means in proximity to people and in the purposes God has called me to.

QUESTION #4: FIRE UP

Tell us about your toil. How are you investing your professional time right now? What’s your current obsession? And why should it be ours?

I recently came out of a season of recovery and rebuilding. This season included healing, piecing together income from contract work, wondering where I would land next and more. And now I am in a season of bearing fruit, and it is sweet. So my toil is harvesting the fruit, offering it to others generously, storing it up with wisdom and enjoying it.

The specific fruit shows up as faithfulness and presence to the work and the people. Faithfulness and being present to my husband and kids more than I ever have, to working on a team at Fuller Seminary, to writing and offering that gift to others and to developing leaders through spiritual direction, digital silent retreats, mentoring and encouragement.

This also translates to my season in life not being about my achievements and goals (although achievements and goals are happening — for example, releasing my book “Becoming a Person of Welcome”) but about celebrating and lifting others in the work they are doing. I love goals, achieving and killing 10 birds with one stone, but my toil doesn’t look that way in this season, and I’m okay with it and enjoying it!

One time, a coach asked if I am the tanker that holds the speedboats as they go out on a mission or if I am the speedboat. I told her “both.” In this season, I am the tanker, a place where people can find steadiness and strength to go out and do the work they are called to do. I love being a speedboat and still enjoy speedy missions from time to time, but my greatest joy is sending others out and receiving them back to encourage and strengthen.

QUESTION #5: BOOST

Whether we’re Cashiers or CEOs, contractors or customer service reps, we all need God’s love flowing into us and back out into the world. How does the Holy Spirit invigorate your work? And how do you know it’s God when it happens?

I’ve always been a wrestler, not in a literal way but in a spiritual way. One time, I was on a literal run, and I was praying about a situation where I had been deeply wounded. I kept saying, “If I could just have known who was in the room and what they said!” I kept demanding that God give me an answer. After a while, God stopped me in my tracks and brought about deep tears as he responded, “You don’t get to know; you get to trust me.” My immediate response was confession. A heartfelt “I’m sorry” and more tears. I wanted to finish my run because I only had childcare for a limited time. I decided to wipe my tears and keep running. Toward the end of my run, I sensed God speak a call over me — that I was to be a communicator of his goodness and truth.

Arguing with God, demanding a response and letting all my thoughts and feelings come out is not so much irreverent as it is a cry that gets my energy out and leaves me feeling weary before God. In this weariness, I am often able to hear, and that energizes me.

On the flip side, deep solitude and silence in the beauty of creation move my work as an author. If I am quiet enough and soak in the transcendence of the mountains and a babbling brook, the words flow with ease. I feel like a conduit of beauty and love. And on the other side of that, God uses people to invigorate my work! Deep friendships open up creativity and bring encouragement, and I love hashing out ideas with others. Sometimes sitting with a friend and catching up opens me up to continue the work I need to get done.

The most evident way in each of these places that the Spirit shows up is through my tears. A wise spiritual director once shared with me that “tears are the sacrament of change.” Tears are evidence that the Spirit is at work and something is happening.

QUESTION #6: inspire

Scripture and tradition beckon us into the rich and varied habits that open our hearts to the presence of God. So let us in. Which spiritual practice is working best for you in this season?

In this season, corporate worship recalibrates me toward God and others. Specifically, corporate worship with people I have been in a community with for 20 years, the place I pastored, as well as the place of broken and restored relationships. It is a place of being deeply loved and deeply living. This includes the good, the bad and the ugly. This includes our humanity and our hospitality toward one another in reconciliation, forgiveness and restoration. So it is much more than coming together for an hour Sunday morning — it is aligning my heart with God and toward my neighbor.

Corporate worship has not always been an anchoring and desired spiritual practice for me. It seemed like more of a duty that I was enslaved to, even though I would lead others in it!  And with that said, I want to push against the question a bit with regard to what spiritual practice is “working best.” The practices are not for whether they are working or not. The practices are disciplines of placing ourselves before God to be transformed by God. We show up even without results, and there are seasons where no spiritual practice “works.” We are not responsible for the fruit of the practices. We are responsible for showing up and trusting that the God of the universe is near, whether we see it or not. These seasons where we cannot see fruit can be challenging and barren, and they are real in the Christian life.

QUESTION #7: FOCUS

Looking backward, considering the full sweep of your unique faith journey and all you encountered along the way, what top three resources stand out to you? What changed reality and changed your heart?

This is a tough one! There has been so much goodness in readings, people and different spiritual practices that it is hard to narrow down!

Let’s start with readings: Brennan Manning’s “The Ragamuffin Gospel” was a game-changer for me. The authenticity, creativity and grace throughout the book ministered and opened up parts of my soul that were untapped.

The spiritual practice of confession is one that was introduced in my pastoral years, although I can remember a significant moment at a Young Life camp in high school where conviction of sin led to greater freedom in Christ. I continued to grow in appreciation for this practice as I regularly wrote the corporate confessions for our church. What a task.

Lastly, faith communities. Being a part of faith communities can make a real difference in our lives. Unfortunately, sometimes that is for ill, and I have experienced this pain. I am also familiar with the gift and restoration found in reconciliation.

Certain things can be godsends, helping us survive, even thrive, in our fast-paced world. Does technology ever help you this way? Has an app ever boosted your spiritual growth? If so, how?

When proximity is impossible, staying connected to friends through Marco Polo video messages and WhatsApp is a gift. A dear pastor friend regularly checks in on MP, and a South African friend and I stay connected across the ocean and time zones with WhatsApp. My own spiritual and professional development happens via Zoom, whether in the form of spiritual direction, spiritual direction supervision or leadership coaching. And finally, the Bible app. I have been part of a group this past year that’s reading through the Bible. The Bible App has given me the flexibility I need to listen to or read the Bible. And there is an entire group of people reading on a text thread, encouraging one another along the way!

QUESTION #8: dream

God’s continually stirring new things in each of us. So give us the scoop! What’s beginning to stir in you but not yet fully awakened? What can we expect from you in the future?

Unfolding is the word I would use to describe what God is stirring within me. And what he continues to unfold are spaces that are bed and breakfasts for the soul. If you have ever been to an actual bed and breakfast, then you have experienced thoughtful, gracious and resourceful hosts. A table spread and served generously, shared with strangers who become friends. A launching place for your adventures of the day and a returning space of rest and restoration to return to the world.

Whether at a local church, in a place in the mountains, on Zoom in spiritual direction or in person, I want to continue to be a place and create spaces of nourishment, strengthening, learning, growing and friendship for the good of other people, especially ministry leaders. I say it is unfolding because there is already so much of this I get to do through my roles with Fuller Seminary’s Center for Spiritual Formation, as the founder of the Digital Silent Retreat Ministry, as a spiritual director and my availability to our local church leaders.

I am dreaming of the next unfolding being in a place of nature, with mountains, rivers and the beauty of creation rather than the concrete jungle of Dallas and the two-dimensional Zoom screen.

We love healthy discussion — and even healthy disagreement — here at Rapt. So we have no qualms about Laura challenging our question about what spiritual practice is working best for her in this season. In fact, we loved her response, especially her emphasis on how God is responsible for the results, not us: “The practices are not for whether they are working or not. … We are not responsible for the fruit of the practices. We are responsible for showing up and trusting that the God of the universe is near, whether we see it or not.”

There’s deep beauty in faithfulness, and sadly, it’s a beauty our generation struggles to embrace with our fast-paced schedules and give-it-to-me-now expectations.

So let’s pause here. What spiritual practices might not seem intriguing right now but God is calling us to engage in? How can you walk out those disciplines as an expression of faithfulness and trust in God’s presence?

Laura Murray is an ordained pastor, author, speaker and certified spiritual director. For over 20 years, she has worked closely with individual leaders and groups in the areas of leader development and spiritual formation. Her creation of the Digital Silent Retreats has ministered to those in the U.S. and across the globe. She also serves at Fuller Seminary’s Center for Spiritual Formation. Her newest book, Becoming a Person of Welcome, will be released in October 2025. She is married to Craig and has two incredible children and two pups. She believes dessert is only dessert if it involves chocolate.