Margaret Feinberg is a bestselling author and sought-after speaker, but her closest friends know her better as the woman who loses sunglasses on the top of her head, forgets to close cabinet doors and invites them lovingly into her home at the drop of a hat. Friendship — with others and with God — is the heartbeat of Marget’s life. It’s evident in everything she creates, from her podcast, “The Joycast,” to her books and Bible studies, such as “Scouting the Divine,” “Fight Back with Joy” and her latest, “The God You Need to Know.”

Below, Margaret unpacks some of her greatest delights in life: hospitality, movies, swimming and finding the Holy Spirit in the Old Testament. She also gets into some of life’s biggest struggles, like easily feeling left out or trying to stay grounded and present despite her ADD and ADHD. Plus, find out which spiritual habits and resources are igniting her faith right now.

The following is a transcript of a live interview. Responses have been edited and condensed for brevity and clarity.

QUESTION #1: ACQUAINT

The meals we enjoy are about so much more than the food we eat. So how does a “go-to” meal at your favorite hometown restaurant reveal the true you behind your web bio?

Our favorite meal in town is the one that we make at our house. We love having people over. A lot of people track different things in their lives, like how many books they read in a year or how far they run or other personal goals. The only thing that I really track in my life is how many nights a year we have people over. For us, it is this beautiful, sacred time.

We live in the West, so this may sound strange to some, but we have people take off their shoes when they come in, which for some is a little disarming. We want people to be comfortable, so we invite them into the kitchen, which is the heartbeat of the home. Sometimes we’ll leave things undone, whether a tomato to slice or a cucumber, so that they’re involved in the cooking and the participation. And then we usually have some sort of light appetizer with some healthy options.

Really for us, a meal is about connecting. We are a little bit strange in that we don’t actually eat at our table. We find that when people sit around the table, it can often become a little stilted or formal. We actually invite people to eat in our living room, with their plates on their laps, and some people sit on the floor. That kind of gathering has a disarming nature where we can connect with people.

I think of having people over almost like a sacred or holy event, and often, I’ll take time to pray and say, “Holy Spirit, let the conversations go where they’re supposed to. Let us connect, and let us feast on something besides the food.”

Now, all of that said, there are a couple of things you should know. Number one, our go-to meal is always Mexican. I mean, we love it. Homemade from scratch, all the things. And then secondly, we found one of the easiest ways to have people over more frequently is to cook in larger quantities. So we may do Mexican, and then we’re going to make it and then re-serve and top stuff off for like two or three nights in a row. That way, we’re not cooking fresh meals from scratch every time, and that tends to be a lot more sustainable.

All said, I love people. My sweet husband does, too. I think we have three grills currently and two smokers, like we’re a little out of control, but whenever a large group needs some smoked meat, my husband is at the top of the list.

QUESTION #2: REVEAL

We’ve all got quirky proclivities and out-of-the-way interests. So what are yours? What so-called “nonspiritual” activity do you love engaging in that also helps you find essential spiritual renewal?

I watch a ridiculous amount of television. Because my day job is writing and looking at paper and words, I don’t read for fun very often. That’s not what I do. So I love to look at storylines and character development through movies, film and television. We subscribe to way too many, and I watch like crazy. I love seeing stories of redemption. I love identifying psychological insights, some of the things that motivate and drive us. Every so often, there’ll be a quote from a particular show or a line that sticks deeply in my being.

Second, my husband is a huge swimmer, and he’s gotten me into swimming. I’m not a serious swimmer. I’m more like a dolphin who splashes in the water for fun. But I love swimming, and we swim in our local pool. I enjoy the repetitiveness of it — you almost have to get mentally strong to do it — because swimming back and forth, just staring at the same lines over and over, is fabulous for my ADD and ADHD. It provides time to clear my head, see things from a different perspective and pray. So I love that.

What’s something else quirky or fun that I love? Oh my gosh, my catnip is an airline ticket. I love to travel. I am strange enough that other than when it’s delayed and miserable, I love being in the airport. I love to be on a plane. I love having new conversations. I love hearing people of faith from all over the country and, at times, all over the world and what they’re learning about Jesus. I am just a complete sucker for an airline ticket. I’ve spent a lot of time traveling for decades, and one might think I would get tired of it, but instead, I think, Where can we go next?

QUESTION #3: CONFESS

Every superhero has a weakness; every human, too. We’re just good at faking it. But who are we kidding? We’re all broken and in this thing together. So what’s your kryptonite, and how do you confront its power head-on?

I have several. I was an only child, and while I was growing up, we often lived in pretty isolated places where there wasn’t another kid to play with anywhere nearby. Sometimes I didn’t see another kid my age for an entire month or two at a time. I think the resulting hunger for connection explains why we have people over at our house all the time now. But it also leads to my kryptonite of feeling left out or not a part of things. It makes me so sad. There are many weaknesses connected to that. One is that I’ll say yes to things I probably shouldn’t and, as a result, overextend myself and do too much. I have to battle that in my mind: Margaret, you were not left out. They did not forget you. It is OK.

A second kryptonite is that, in the last couple of years, I was diagnosed with ADD and ADHD — to which my friends say, “That explains a lot.” When I received the diagnosis, I thought, How did I reach adulthood without ever being diagnosed? I remember how the psychologist explained it: “Well, first of all, women are often overlooked more than males and boys. But the second is that you’ve built your whole life around this.” I’ve taken a couple of years to unpack that, but I watch myself now from the outside at times and how I run around the house in 50 million directions, leave cabinet doors open and forget to flush the toilet. I forget to complete very simple tasks, and yet I’ve also built a career working for myself where I’m not in a cubicle, and I’m not in an environment where I have to sit still because I simply can’t. It’s something I have to pay attention to.

I mean it when I say it’s a problem. There are times when I’ll be in a conversation with someone, and I’ll walk away without saying goodbye because, in my head, it was done. And I have to stop myself and say, Wait, wait, wait. No, no, no. You stop and close this out and then move on. So it’s something I really have to watch.

QUESTION #4: FIRE UP

Tell us about your toil. How are you investing your professional time right now? What’s your current obsession? And why should it be ours?

I have been writing for decades. I felt drawn to do a book on the Holy Spirit, but that was back in 2019. Do you remember that world ago? At that time, it seemed like a really good idea. And then, starting in 2020, our family’s lives fell apart in some spectacular ways. I ended up being almost four years late on this book and Bible study project on “The God You Need to Know.”

I was trying to write this book on the Holy Spirit, and it was just so big. I wanted to write a book on God, and I realized I needed to narrow that down. Doing that took a lot of effort. Eventually, I found a professor by the name of Jack Levinson, and his writing really inspired me to take a look at the Holy Spirit in the Old Testament. What I discovered has changed the way that I read the Bible forever.

Growing up, I had so many questions about the Holy Spirit. Jesus is kind of easy to picture or imagine. We can see his humanity. God the Father, I can kind of imagine on the throne, all powerful and sovereign. But the Holy Spirit is just so ethereal. It’s like trying to grasp a cloud. When I’d ask about the Holy Spirit, I’d get many different answers. We attended many different types of churches growing up, but often, people would point me to Acts 2 to understand the Holy Spirit. The only problem is my everyday life doesn’t look like that, and I really couldn’t relate. What happened in Acts 2 can seem strange — all of a sudden, there are tongues of fire, and there’s wind and elements of a strange, super-spiritual experience.

As I examined the Holy Spirit throughout the Old Testament, I was shocked at how frequently he is mentioned and works in ways that are consistent with the accounts in Acts 2. I came to a point in looking at the Holy Spirit in the Old Testaments that I realized, Of course Acts 2 would happen this way. It traces back to when the Holy Spirit was hovering over the waters in Genesis 1:2, just as the tongues of fire hovered over their heads. Similarly, in Acts 2, a strong wind blew through. What does Ruach, Holy Spirit, mean? “The spirit” in Hebrew is Ruach, which can also be translated “breath” or “wind.”

It has been so life altering and normalizing to see the Holy Spirit work in the lives of Daniel, David, Ezekiel and Gideon — in Genesis and in the desert and in wilderness. When we begin to recognize the Holy Spirit in the Old Testament, we suddenly think, Oh, the Holy Spirit is just so normal and part of our Christian lives. Many of us have been hijacked by the idea that the Holy Spirit is weird or maybe only for some people, or we draw lines and boxes. But when we begin to see the Holy Spirit throughout the entire Bible, we realize encountering him is normal. It’s everyday. It’s what we all have and get to enjoy — we get to delight in relationship with the Spirit.

QUESTION #5: BOOST

Cashiers, CEOs, contractors or customer service reps, we all need grace flowing into us and back out into the world. How does the Holy Spirit invigorate your work? And how do you know it’s God when it happens?

There are times — and it is not every day, believe me — when I’m writing, and I feel what I can only describe as the holy hum of God’s presence. I think of the movie “Chariots of Fire” and Eric Liddle, who says, “I feel God’s pleasure when I run.” There are times in engaging in a writing activity when I just sense the pleasure of the Holy Spirit.

My hunch is that if each of us took a look at our own lives, we would find those moments when the Spirit is smiling on us in what we’re doing, the thing we were wired and created to do. It is not every day. It is not every month. There are parts of all of our jobs that are not especially pleasant, and that’s okay, but I definitely sense that divine pleasure at times.

Secondly, I had somebody really transform my life a few months ago named Drake. I’ve always struggled with journaling, and although a lot of people love journaling, I think there are others who are in the same boat I am. Some might say, “Well, Margaret, why don’t you like journaling? You’re a writer.” That’s exactly why. After I write all day, I don’t want to write some more. But Drake told me that, in his journal, he writes down just one question for the Holy Spirit. These questions can be so simple, like, “Holy Spirit, who am I? Holy Spirit, what’s my purpose? Holy Spirit, what are you calling me to do today?” So I started doing this.

I encourage you to try it — write one prayer prompt, one question for the Spirit, and then keep praying it throughout the day. You keep coming back to that question — “Holy Spirit, Holy Spirit” — and then that night or the next day, you write down anything that came to mind. And if you do that day after day, week after week, month after month, you will start to see the Spirit answering in the simplest and most beautiful and delightful ways. So I know for me, that’s really had an impact. It’s been so healthy and beautiful in my spiritual life.

QUESTION #6: inspire

Scripture and tradition beckon us into the rich and varied habits that open our hearts to the presence of God. So let us in. Which spiritual practice is working best for you in this season?

For me, silence has become really important. I often wake up and look out the window in the silence and the quiet of the early morning. There’s some prayer, but it’s very few words. It’s mostly being and listening. Sometimes I’ll pray something simple like, “Holy Spirit, I love you,” or “Holy Spirit, thank you” or “Holy Spirit, I’m here listening.” That gift of silence as a practice is an antidote to the constant content input and dopamine hits that have become part of our technological revolution. I find I need to be intentional and, at times, even fight for silence. We must learn to simply be among a world that is shouting, “Do, do, do.”

QUESTION #7: FOCUS

Looking backward, considering the full sweep of your unique faith journey and all you encountered along the way, what top resources stand out to you? What changed reality and your heart?

First, I would say the books by Jack Levinson had a tremendous impact on my life and helped me understand the Holy Spirit in new ways.

Second is the intentionality of building community. I travel a lot, so it’s easy to come home and think, Why aren’t people reaching out? Why aren’t people calling? And I’ve just learned to be somebody who picks up the phone and reaches out no matter what. We all sometimes fall into places where we think other people need to be the ones who reach out. “Why am I always the one?” we ask. And all I can encourage you to do is to keep being the one. It matters. It matters for you. It matters for them. At times, it’s exhausting, and it’s okay to let other people know that. But we also have to pick up the phone, reach out and make time to get together with others. Putting down our phones and looking each other in the eyes is one of the most enriching things we will ever do. It’s a counter to the ungroundedness of the times we are living in.

Third, I think the greatest influence of my life right now is the people who are in it. All the real relationships, the people who don’t care what I do or accomplish, the people who meet up and go for walks and sit around a table and swim and go on vacation with us. All those people you’ll never read about in any of my books. I have been working very hard to live a quiet, beautiful life. Those people are the ones who carry and sustain me, and they are so beautiful. I could list names like Mindy and Susie and Bill and Andrea and Laurel and Ann and Sandy and so many more. These are my treasures. They are all my treasures. I’m so grateful for them.

We all have things we cling to to survive or even thrive in our fast-paced, techno-driven world. How have you been successful in harnessing technology to aid in your spiritual growth?

Some apps are such gifts, including simple ones like Nextdoor. Yes, there are people who rant. That’s just how the online universe is. But this app helps me learn about things going on in my neighborhood that I would never have otherwise known. I know where the elk are, the deer are, the mountain lions are. I know that when somebody is giving away their medical equipment, they might have been sick. I think that Nextdoor is just one of those precious apps to be able to stay aware of what’s really going on among your neighbors in a new way.

I’m a huge fan of WhatsApp, too. I’ve fostered some really sweet and ongoing relationships with people in other countries over the years by using the voice-text feature. Rather than making a call or just sending a long text, I enjoy exchanging voice memos with each other. I foster really rich, deep, funny, delightful relationships through that.

QUESTION #8: dream

God’s continually stirring new things in each of us. So give us the scoop! What’s beginning to stir in you but not yet fully awakened? What can we expect from you in the future?

I’ve been thinking a lot about prayer and different ways to invoke prayer. There are so many ways to pray that I’ve ever known, so I want to explore those various forms. In “The God You Need to Know,” I talk about breath prayer. We talk about prayer prompts through journaling. But with the way God has uniquely wired us, we can find ways to pray that uniquely work for us — ways that perhaps nobody’s ever mentioned or done before.

For example, during Lent a few years ago, I decided to give up prayer. Not all prayer, but all long prayers. I ramble a lot in prayer and use a lot of words, so I limited myself to three-word prayers. Over the course of the 40 days, it actually ended up becoming one-word prayers, knowing that you don’t have to say a lot to God in order to say a lot. I could just speak a name and know that God knew the fullness of what needed to be done. So I really want to explore more about prayer.

Earlier, Margaret said she views inviting people over to her house as a sacred or holy event. Some people may think this is a somewhat strange view of hanging out with people — but not Jesus. When two of John the Baptist’s disciples met him and asked him questions, he did something they may not have expected: he invited them to spend the day with him (see John 1:35-39).

That simple moment of hospitality changed those disciples’ lives. We, too, have the chance to touch people’s lives with the presence of Jesus by welcoming them into our homes, our schedules and our hearts.

Margaret Feinberg