Megan Fate Marshman

If there’s just one thing Megan Fate Marshman wants to do with her life, it’s to spread hope and celebrate others. With Jesus as her Captain, she believes every day is an opportunity to love more — and every step of obedience is a risk worth taking. For right now, that looks like taking opportunities to share Christ’s love, choosing to rest despite life’s busyness, serving as a teaching pastor while earning her Doctorate of Ministry and releasing her latest book, “Relaxed: Walking with the One Who Is Not Worried about a Thing.” If you love authentic spiritual teaching and compelling personal anecdotes, you’ll enjoy hearing Megan speak or reading her work. Keep reading to discover how her favorite food led to an unexpected spiritual encounter and how she’s discovering what living like Jesus truly looks like.

QUESTION #1: ACQUAINT

There’s much more to food than palate and preference. How does a go-to meal at your favorite hometown restaurant reveal the true you behind the web bio?

I love Olive Garden.

Sorry to anyone who doesn’t like Olive Garden. I realize that this can be kind of a polarizing subject. Some, like me, love it — others call it the McDonald’s of Italian food. When I was pregnant with my second son, Jed, I craved Italian food all the time. There was an Olive Garden nearby, so we became regulars. Then after he was born, I realized I just really like Italian food. So I never stopped going to Olive Garden.

I order the soup and salad combo. Delicious.

It’s bottomless soup, salad and breadsticks.

The best is that moment when the server sees that I’m done with my first round of soup and asks me, “Do you want another bowl of soup?” And I say, “Yes.” Then the same thing happens with the second bowl. And then I say, “You know what, I’ll just try all of them.” Then they bring me a bowl of every single soup simmering in the kitchen that day. Did you know you could do that? Now you do.

About a year ago, I was speaking in Nashville, Tennessee. After the speaking engagement was over, I stayed for a night by myself before traveling back home. I was in the downtown area, surrounded by Tennessee’s most glorious food offerings and restaurants critics raved about — so I pulled out my phone and Googled, “Where is Olive Garden?”

Fortunately, they had one in Nashville, too. Otherwise, I would have had to improvise. When I walked in, the host asked me, “How many in your party?” and I just kind of waved at him.

“Hey, it’s me, just me. I’m the party.”

Of course, it wasn’t just me. It was me and Jesus, and we were going to Olive Garden for some time together. I knew what we would order — soup and salad combo for one. Our waitress was not great. Maybe she wasn’t having the best evening for other reasons. This night was not her night for exemplary waitressing. Megan trivia: I was a waitress for seven years, so I know what it looks like when things are going well and when things … aren’t.

After I’d been sitting there at my table for one (two, actually!) for a bit, she came by to take my order.

“I’m going to do the soup and salad combo, starting with the Soupa Zuppa!” This is what I call the Sopa Toscana, a really delicious soup with sausage and kale. Usually, the Olive Garden wait staff thinks the joke is funny, or at least they laugh for my sake, but my waitress didn’t laugh.

After a while, she brought me the bowl of soup, set it down and hurried away to one of her other tables. I gave a sincere but short, “Thank you for this,” to the One sitting across the table from me, and then I surveyed the feast — soup, breadsticks and salad (I don’t usually eat that part). Everything was there — except for a spoon. And a glass of water.

But you know what? It was all OK. I was just there to spend some time with Jesus. When she came by again, I asked her about a spoon. She apologized, told me they were down a waitress, and ran back to the kitchen for a spoon, but she didn’t come back. So I just pulled one of the busboys aside and asked for a spoon. I figured that was more important than the water.

So the meal went on like this. She never asked if I wanted more soup, but that was OK, too, because I was with Jesus, and that was enough. I even picked at the salad for a little bit — not bad, but not really my thing.

“OK, what is your deal?”

I looked up from my salad. It was my waitress. “Huh? Me? My deal?” I asked.

“What is your deal? There’s something … different about you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I mean, I never even took your drink order. But you didn’t complain, and you weren’t nasty to me, and you just — you’re different. What’s your deal?”

I laughed. “I know the answer to that question. Did I come across as loving by chance?”

“Yeah. Yeah, you did.”

“Or maybe joyful and peaceful?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Or patient and kind …”

She just looked at me. Maybe she was thinking at this point, Kind of arrogant, too. But I kept going.

“Did I come across as gentle and self-controlled, maybe?” I walked down the list of the fruit of the Spirit. Her response was a nod and a kind of confused look. I looked into her eyes and said, “Any of that — loving, patient, gentle — is Christ in me. It’s not me. Let me confess to you, by nature, I’m not that loving. I’m extremely selfish. I love to be loved back. I’m not all that joyful. Some days, I want my earbuds in and to be in the corner all by myself. Most days, I’m hurried and busy and distracted. I know the answer to your question. What’s my deal? Why am I different? If anything is different about me, it’s Jesus.”

After her shift was done, she sat at that table for one (now three!) with me, and she met Jesus for the first time.

When he’s directing your path, you get to be the light to other people — bad waitresses, people who cut you off at the church parking lot, disobedient kids. You open up your heart to the whole world — one person at a time. Which person? Whichever person he’s placed in your path that day. He’s directing their path, too.

QUESTION #2: REVEAL

We’ve all got quirky proclivities and out-of-the-way interests. So what are yours? What so-called “nonspiritual” activity (or activities) do you love engaging in, which also helps you find essential spiritual renewal?

One time, I created a risk experiment because, when you take a risk, you intentionally place yourself outside the zone where you can “figure it all out” on your own. Risk is an overlooked part of living out our faith. John Wilber is famous for saying, “Faith is spelled ‘R-I-S-K.’” When you take risks, you will see God show up in surprising ways — because you need him to. I wonder if we don’t see God’s power in our lives because we play it too safe. I’m with Matt Chandler on this one: “Comfort is the god of our generation.”

Here’s what my risk experiment looked like. Each day, I tried to think about what Jesus would do if he were me. Whenever I felt the little nudge from the Holy Spirit to remember someone or do something, I would do my best to catch that moment (by the grace of God) and say, “Yes!” to it. Honestly, I assumed going in that the nudges would be massive — share the gospel with a mean co-worker or pay the mortgage for a family — but as it turns out, it was simple moments of opening my heart to what Jesus might do if he were me. And the truth is, he would do life much differently from how I naturally do it on my own.

He would prioritize time with our heavenly Father.

He would look people in the eyes.

He would encourage someone.

He would smile and offer a word of encouragement.

He would relax.

He would applaud faith.

He would Sabbath.

He would say yes to my 5-year-old’s invitation to ride scooters around the block and actually keep looking when he demanded, “Watch me Mom.”

Most of the risks I took during this challenge felt small and not necessarily even mentionable. But I believe that God cares about the small things we do for him, too — little risks are still risky. I’m wondering if that’s what the Kingdom of God is like, giving dignity to an unseen person, telling someone you believe in them, saying the nice thing you’ve been thinking about someone for years, stopping to pray in the moment instead of saying you’ll pray in general.

On this risk journey, I discovered that what I used to think was risky is really Christ-likeness, which makes a life of faith worth the risk. When I stepped outside of my own ability to control the outcome, I was submitting to the One who was already in control of it.

What do you have to lose?

Your autonomy?

Turns out, that’s everything you’ve been hoping to lose all along.

QUESTION #3: CONFESS

Every superhero has a weakness. Every human, too. We’re just good at faking it. But who are we kidding? We’re broken and in this thing together. So what’s your kryptonite, and how do you hide it?

One of the greatest counterfeits of living like Jesus is living in Christian autonomy — trying to be like him without him. I’d sum up “autonomy” in this context with one word: self-reliant. The problem, of course, is that, from start to finish, the Bible defines the Christian life as one of dependence. When we fall into autonomy, relying on ourselves, our lives become burdensome, worried and anxious. We fall for distractions, and our faith becomes pretense. We become experts at the routines, the lingo and “acting Christian” while rarely engaging in a real, conversational relationship with God.

The One we claim to be following is relaxed, but our lives aren’t. We’re burdened and bothered and ashamed and grieving and angry. We want to grow, but we fear it’s just going to be more ineffective work — work we’ve put in before that only felt like a burden. We perform in prayer (if we pray) as we hustle to become better Christians while experiencing no real power, bearing little to no eternal fruit, unintentionally playing a part in God’s story we were never intended to play: the one in control. It’s a problem.

Jesus said, “Apart from me, you can do nothing.” It’s a qualitative statement meaning you can do a lot of things, but it will amount to nothing. But man, we can spend a lot of time and energy worrying about a lot of things, can’t we?

I have been an autonomous Christian who doesn’t know how to slow down and just be with Jesus, and I have tasted the slow, powerful life with God that I see in so many of the people whose faith I admire. I’ve had good conversations with him and felt at ease even as the chaos around me remained the same, but then I, too, have simply forgotten to prioritize time with him the very next day. If you’re discouraged by this same kind of on-again-off-again life with Jesus, don’t worry. Thankfully, the goal is not striving. Striving for something is what got us into this mess in the first place. The goal is proximity and nearness (and awareness of our nearness) to Jesus.

QUESTION #4: FIRE UP

Tell us about your toil. How are you investing your professional time right now? What’s your current obsession? And why should it be ours?

I speak and write about truths that have first set me free in some way. I sure hope it’s part of God’s plan to find its way to you. I wouldn’t take the time to share it if it wasn’t somehow worthwhile in my own life first.

QUESTION #5: BOOST

Cashiers, CEOs, contractors or customer service reps, we all need grace flowing into us and back out into the world. How does the Holy Spirit invigorate your work? And how do you know it’s God when it happens?

Becoming like Christ, becoming relaxed, is the byproduct of relationship with him. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control are the byproduct of his Spirit in us. The fruit of the Spirit is not the fruit of our effort. It’s the fruit, or byproduct, of intimacy with our sovereign God. Becoming more relaxed will happen, not as we try harder to be more relaxed, but only as we open up our honest heart to the One who is not worried about a thing.

Honest prayer — that’s the key and doorway into true intimacy with God. As my professor, Dr. John Coe, says, “Prayer is not a place to be good; it’s a place to be honest.”

QUESTION #6: inspire

Scripture and tradition beckon us into the rich and varied habits that open our hearts to the presence of God. So let us in. Which spiritual practice is working best for you right now?

Day seven of my risk experiment:

In a culture that glorifies busyness and productivity, taking a weekly Sabbath is risky. Take Chick-fil-A, a notable example of this risk, choosing to close its doors on Sundays. Can you imagine the flak S. Truett Cathy, the company’s founder, received when they first pitched the idea of losing a full day of income by being closed on Sundays? To dismiss the pressure to constantly achieve and earn and be productive is risky.

Taking a day of rest each week has become essential for my family. When I chose to observe Sabbath on days seven, 14, 21 and so on, I realized that it’s riskier for my health not to. It helps us live better — more eye contact with my little boys and less chasing accomplishments, which doesn’t bring the satisfaction it promises. This is the heart of why God gave us the Sabbath. We have to risk that God is indeed the provider he promised he is. It is a simple yet incredibly powerful tool God uses to train us to take our eyes off ourselves and our own sufficiency and our own autonomy and place them on him as the source for everything.

I think that’s what Jesus did when he rested. He looked people in the eyes. He laughed. And he made sure to thank his Father for everything he had made. Jesus worked hard — of course, he did. But he didn’t waste time “trying to figure it all out.”

In many ways, I remain a product of my culture — every single time my family rests, I have to resist the thought that we’re “doing nothing” that day. We’re doing something important — we’re taking a risk. We’re risking time and actions. We’re trusting that God actually does have everything under control, and that we can trust him. All rest is an act of radical trust. It is us saying that we understand that it is not by our efforts that the world goes around. And often, in resting, we limit our productivity in costly ways and are forced to trust that God will take care of us.

I’ve kept risking by continuing to rest on the Sabbath. And this risk never takes anything away from me, except for maybe anxiety — it gives me space to recognize how great he is. Time to thank him. Time to prepare for the next risks he’s going to call me to.

QUESTION #7: FOCUS

Looking backward, considering the full sweep of your unique faith journey and all you encountered along the way, what resources stand out to you? What changed the game and changed your heart? What radically altered your life? What changed your reality?

“The Listening Life” by Adam McHugh humbled me as it reminded me that I have a lot to learn when it comes to being a good friend.

We all have things we cling to to survive (or even thrive) in tough times — times like these! Name one resource you’re savoring and/or finding indispensable in this current season, and tell us what it’s doing for you.

To engage with the Bible most effectively, I’ve appreciated the Bible Project books of the Bible overview videos.

QUESTION #8: dream

God is continually stirring new things in each of us. So, give us the scoop! What’s beginning to stir in you but not yet fully awakened? What can we expect from you in the future?

I’m presently weeks away from releasing both a book and a Bible study titled “Relaxed: Walking with the One Who Is Not Worried about a Thing.” Writing and releasing these two resources feels far more vulnerable than any book or study I’ve released in the past, and I know why. The day before my husband, Randy, went to heaven, we discussed Philippians 1:21: “To live is Christ, to die is gain.” We were in a sweet season of life, and I was beginning my doctoral program studying spiritual formation, the process of becoming more like Christ by the Holy Spirit. I wanted to live as Christ but was only beginning to understand my part in that process.

This book and study are everything I’ve learned about living as Christ ever since Randy stepped into the gain.

As Megan pointed out, Jesus worked hard — much harder than the average person works today, I’d imagine. And yet he was also one of the biggest advocates of rest. Consider his sayings:

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls” (Matthew 11:28,29, ESV).

“Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while” (Mark 6:31, ESV).

“When they got out on land, they saw a charcoal fire in place, with fish laid out on it, and bread. Jesus said to them, ‘Bring some of the fish that you have just caught. … Come and have breakfast’” (John 21:9-10, 12, ESV).

When was the last time you rested with Jesus? How can you make space for that this week — and the next?