Niki Hardy has studied at Oxford, written award-nominated books, led short-term mission trips and moved from England to Charlotte, North Carolina, to plant a church. And yet she’s found that the greatest lessons she’s learned have come from holding on tightly to Jesus when life flips upside down. As a speaker and author of three books — “Breathe Again,” “One Minute Prayers for Women with Cancer” and her latest, “God, Can We Chat?” — Niki firmly believes in bringing her doubts, big and small, to God in honest conversation and helping others do the same.

In today’s interview, Niki shares a few of her favorite ways to find spiritual renewal as a self-proclaimed “fresh air junkie” as well as how growing up feeling “less than” has impacted her need for external approval and acceptance. She also shares the story behind “God, Can We Chat?” and how vulnerability in prayer and experiencing nature helped save her faith.

QUESTION #1: ACQUAINT

The meals we enjoy are about so much more than the food we eat. So how does a “go-to” meal at your favorite hometown restaurant reveal the true you behind your web bio?

As a scrawny kid, I’d sit on the stony beach, hugging my knobbly knees to keep warm, wellie boots (or rain boots to you) gaping around my skinny shins, and count the waves until the fishermen beached their boats. Within minutes of unloading their morning’s catch of fresh whitebait, the chilly wind would be forgotten and I’d be hugging the hot portion of lightly battered fish — sprinkled to perfection with salt and vinegar — to my chest. There was no waiting to get home to dive in. We’d unwrap our newspaper bundles of deliciousness right there with the wind whipping our hair and the sea foam breaking before us. This was heaven on earth. Or, more accurately, Suffolk, England.

Fast forward a number of decades, and my love of fish and the outdoors hasn’t faded. For me, the perfect ingredients to any meal are fresh air, a view of something wild God created, and a gaggle of my favorite people. The food doesn’t have to be that amazing — a cheese sandwich with Marmite is great — and the view doesn’t need to be epic — a tree or two lining a sidewalk café will do — but ask me whether I’d like to eat inside or out and, nine times out of 10, the answer will be “Out, of course!”

Having moved to Charlotte, North Carolina, to plant a church (yes, I know that sounds bonkers; there’s a pub on every corner in London and a church on every corner in Charlotte, but it was God’s idea, not ours, so here we are) when our kids were small, I still prefer a packed lunch on a hike to a fancy meal in a white tablecloth restaurant. But if we do ever find ourselves out to dinner together, you can be sure I’ll be ordering the fish, sprinkling it with just the right amount of salt and vinegar, and remembering those Saturday morning feasts.

QUESTION #2: REVEAL

We’ve all got quirky proclivities and out-of-the-way interests. So what are yours? What so-called “nonspiritual” activity do you love engaging in that also helps you find essential spiritual renewal?

Wilfie was my first spiritual adviser. He was old with salt-and-pepper hair that had the habit of flopping into his pewter eyes as I unloaded my struggles with my parents’ divorce. He rarely, if ever, asked what I thought, preferring a slight tilt of the head to a clarifying question, and he believed a walk through the park to be akin to a time of deep, contemplative prayer.

In a strange way, God made himself real to me through Wilfie before I ever came to faith in an old Victorian church with bare-brick walls minutes from Buckingham Palace. I say “strange” because Wilfie was our family’s Bearded Collie.

Yet despite his K-9 status, he listened as I’ve learned God does, with utter love and his full focus. He longed to be part of whatever I was up to and would often, Lassie-like, steer me from making bad decisions and ending up down a proverbial mine shaft!

So today, walking our rather rambunctious Goldendoodle, Charlie, has become an oddly important spiritual practice. Whether it’s a quick spin around the block to shake off our sillies, a morning’s walk through our leafy neighborhood or a full-on hiking and camping trip, God reminds me of his presence and grounds me in the here and now. It’s where God speaks loudest and, assuming I’ve left my headphones behind, it’s where I hear him most clearly.

I’m not sure if other spiritual practices involve throwing tennis balls, stopping for sniff breaks or even picking up poop, but my dog walks have become more than self-help. They are now, to use Ruth Haley Barton’s words, part of “the basic components of a rhythm of life that keeps us oriented toward God, open and available for God’s surprising initiatives in our lives.”

And I, for one, want more of that however I can get it.

QUESTION #3: CONFESS

Every superhero has a weakness; every human too. We’re just good at faking it. But who are we kidding? We’re all broken and in this thing together. So what’s your kryptonite and how do you confront its power head-on?

As the third of three kids, I was always trying to be heard. My sisters were louder, stronger, funnier and prettier, not to mention more popular, while I was the straggler, tagging along behind, trying to be cool and included. Loving school didn’t make me cooler in their eyes, and being the gangly, overenthusiastic, obnoxious one didn’t help my cause.

The constant need to be heard and understood hasn’t left me, and my mum’s words still ring in my ears even 50 years later. “Niki, you’re tired, it’s late, it’s past your bedtime, and you’re beginning to show off.”

Do I still repeat myself a thousand times just in case someone doesn’t get what I mean? Yes.

Do I worry that I’m too loud or embarrassing when I’m out with my friends? Absolutely.

Is there a constant, not-so-subtle whisper in my ear telling me I’m behind and no one wants to know what I have to say? For sure.

No matter how often I breathe in the truth of God’s unconditional love for me, I still long for the approval of others. It’s annoying, but I wonder whether this is my “thorn in my side,” and until I meet Jesus face to face, I’ll always be running to catch up with the cool kids and be included.

QUESTION #4: FIRE UP

Tell us about your toil. How are you investing your professional time right now? What’s your current obsession? And why should it be ours?

I’m not going to lie; the last few years have been a doozy for us all, but it wasn’t until a sticky August morning as we began to emerge from the pandemic that I realized I felt more lost than found. The words of “Amazing Grace” had always felt so personal, but now the opposite felt truer. My faith was dying by a thousand paper cuts, and I had more questions for God than answers or hope to hang onto.

From what I could tell, I wasn’t alone.

Was I a believer, a doubter, a doubting believer or a believing doubter? Something else entirely? I had no idea. All I knew for sure was the untethered feeling and the disappointment, disillusionment and confusion couldn’t be solved with more theology, apologetics or spiritual books. What my poor stuck self needed wasn’t more of something but someone.

That’s when I said, “God, Can We Chat?”

Now, I’m deep in the throes of launching a book with that question as its title. As the subtitle explains, it’s a daringly honest guide to growing closer to God, one doubt at a time, because I discovered that while our doubts hold power, they don’t weaken our faith but strengthen it. And when we chat with God, we might not find the answers we’re looking for, but we will find the intimacy and connection most of us are really craving.

What’s most exciting is the way the book helps you reimagine your doubts as your faith’s greatest weapon and reframe the lies holding you back from talking to God about them. Then, in the “Chat” conversation guide, we take the time to reply to Jesus’ invitation to the worn-out and weary and come to him — with it all.

To be honest, I’ve doubted whether I should be the one to write this book on doubt from the moment it was a twinkle in my writerly eye. The irony isn’t lost on me, but God’s made it clear he wants this book in the world, and early readers are telling me it’s saved their faith, made them cry with relief and given them permission to talk to God more honestly.

Getting “God, Can We Chat?” into the hands of as many people as I can is my No. 1 obsession right now. Because I believe it’s time more of us know the power our questions hold. I believe God’s not as phased by our doubts as we worry he is or as concerned by them as we are. I believe it’s time for a daringly honest and wonderfully imperfect heart-to-heart with God about it all.

QUESTION #5: BOOST

Cashiers, CEOs, contractors or customer service reps, we all need grace flowing into us and back out into the world. How does the Holy Spirit invigorate your work? And how do you know it’s God when it happens?

“How on earth did you hear about me?” I asked the event planner pulling together a conference for 3,000 attendees at an uptown Charlotte hotel. “I Googled Christian speakers in Charlotte, and your name popped up,” she replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. But it wasn’t.

Charlotte is packed full of Christian authors and speakers. They’re oozing from the coffee shops and lined up in the pews of the hundreds of churches around here. It’s the hometown of Billy Graham, Derwin Gray, Steven Furtick, Lysa Terkheurst and Lisa Whittle, to name a handful.

My name bobbing to the top of Google’s ocean of Christian speakers’ names must have been God. So must the way three conversations collided to birth the “God, Can We Chat?” guided prayer format with its deep roots in CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) and spiritual formation. I couldn’t have done that alone.

Then there are the times when the words flow as if I didn’t ditch English at 16; take nothing but math, biology and chemistry for my entire 11th and 12th grades; and then major in Zoology. Only the Holy Spirit can get a science nerd to write three books that don’t resemble a science paper in the least.

Sometimes the Holy Spirit works quietly, under the radar; at others, he’s loud and bossy. But he’s always there, working away — guiding, comforting, counseling, prodding, nudging, giving, listening.

And I couldn’t do this work without him. Nor would I want or dare to.

QUESTION #6: inspire

Scripture and tradition beckon us into the rich and varied habits that open our hearts to the presence of God. So let us in. Which spiritual practice is working best for you in this season?

For an extrovert who’s never met a silence she can’t fill, I’ve been surprised to find the amount of joy and calm I’m finding in silence. Whether it’s on a walk, doing the dishes or laundry, or in the car on the way to pick up a prescription from the pharmacy, I’ve started to turn off the radio, silence Alexa, leave the podcast until later and let my mind wander.

My adult kids are into bands and going to concerts, and they can’t understand why I don’t have music on in the background all the time. Telling them my brain is noisy enough without everything else, I try to explain that it’s where God and I hang out best: in the quiet.

It hasn’t always been this way. Being an avid learner and eternally curious, more often than not, I’d have a podcast playing as I went about anything that wasn’t work. Then, one afternoon, as Charlie and I walked by the local creek, worship music playing in my ears, I felt God say, “How can you hear my still, small voice if you never get still and small?” Ouch. Didn’t worship music count?

The truth was it was still a distraction. Noise diverting my mind to words and images of someone else’s choosing when God wanted me to hang out with him and cast my eyes onto what he was showing me.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not anti-worship music one bit.

But I do know that silence has become a surprisingly important part of how I encounter God, helping me feel seen, known, held and loved. In silence, God and I chat in deeper ways than I could hope for.

QUESTION #7: FOCUS

Looking backward, considering the full sweep of your unique faith journey and all you encountered along the way, what resources stand out to you? What changed reality and your heart?

Until I met Jesus the year my husband and I got married, my relationship with God (if you could even call it that) had been tenuous at best. Having gone to church as a family when I was small, if you’d asked me to state my religion, I’d have checked the “Christian” box, not because I knew and loved Jesus but simply because I wasn’t Muslim or Hindu or atheist. I felt spiritual up mountains and believed in something bigger and better than me, which, for lack of another name, I’d labeled “God.”

I finally met Jesus during an Alpha course in the early ’90s among a gathering of skeptical yet curious Londoners. The weekly talks reintroduced me to what felt like an old friend and gave me the space to interrogate my long-held questions in a safe and supportive environment. Of all the books, retreats, podcast episodes or articles that have influenced my faith, even the worship songs and sermons, it’s the Alpha course that’s had the most significant and lasting impact on my life and faith. Its legacy in my life is there on a daily basis; it’s in my book, “God, Can We Chat?” and it’s in how I meet with Jesus on the trails where Charlie and I walk.

All the videos are now online, and I can’t recommend them enough. When we see each other, you can thank me!

We all have things we cling to to survive or even thrive in our fast-paced, techno-driven world. How have you been successful in harnessing technology to aid in your spiritual growth?

I’ve always wanted to be more contemplative than I naturally am. More reflective than my buzzing brain often allows and more intentional in allowing Scripture to change and transform me. The idea of Lectio Divina has always appealed to me, but whenever I’ve tried to do it alone, I’d get distracted or find myself bored by my worrying lack of imagination.

Enter Lectio 365 from 24/7 Prayer.

This simple prayer app leads you, Lectio-style, through a daily devotion using the P.R.A.Y. format, and through it, I’ve been able to fall in love not just with Lectio Divina but with Scripture anew.

The team at 24/7 Prayer has now added a midday prayer themed around the Lord’s Prayer and an evening examen, and all three offerings (including the original morning sessions) help me, to use their words, recenter my scattered senses upon the presence of God — no matter what craziness is blowing through my day.

Bonus tip: this is on the flip side of harnessing tech, and I’m worried you’re going to roll your eyes and dismiss it as too simple, but it’s helped me grow spiritually in leaps and bounds. It’s the “Do Not Disturb” button. I told you it was super simple.

Most of us know how much of a hold our phones have on us and, if you’re like me, you struggle to go to the loo without it. But I’ve discovered the world will be OK for an hour or so while I pray and chat with God. More importantly, my loved ones and I will be okay, and I won’t miss out on anything important. And if we aren’t or I do, with God, I’ll figure it out.

QUESTION #8: dream

God’s continually stirring new things in each of us. So give us the scoop! What’s beginning to stir in you but not yet fully awakened? What can we expect from you in the future?

Wow, you’ve read this far. That’s impressive. Let me tell you what I haven’t told many people yet — what God seems to be stirring within me and pushing me out of my comfort zone toward.

It will come as no surprise to you that I’m a fresh air junkie and lover of nature who’s perpetually curious and unafraid to ask God or anyone else, “What, when, why and how?” God wants us to become more like him: the calm, confident people we were created to be without having it all figured out first, and I’m certain chatting with him, preferably in nature, helps.

Even as “God, Can We Chat?” releases, I’m diving into what spiritual formation practices in nature look like. How can we encounter God in nature even if we live on a city block with only one tree? How might we as Christians learn from and enfold the expanding wealth of evidence that God’s creation fuels our well-being, mental and physical health, and social infrastructure into our spiritual practices? For those who worry practices like “forest therapy” or “forest bathing” sound too woo-woo or against our biblical faith, I’m asking how we can reclaim God’s use of creation as mentor, message and mirror as the biblical authors did thousands of years ago.

I call this living Wildly Known, and I’m slowly building a community called The Wildly Known Collective.

What it looks like, I’ve got no idea! I’ve been dreaming of a podcast, but people tell me video is the way to go (I always fancied being a female David Attenborough). However, I’m no cinematographer. Retreats sound more like my jam. One thing’s certain: WildlyKnown is God’s idea and where my heart is going, so I’ll follow it with all I’ve got. I hope you’ll come along.

Nature saved my faith, and I’m sure it can do so much more.

Throughout church history, godly men and women have found intimacy with God through nature — St. Hildegarde of Bingen, St. Francis of Assisi, Jonathan Edwards and C.S. Lewis, to name a few.

Somewhere along the way, though, interacting with Jesus through his own creation has become a secondary thought for many believers. Perhaps we should more seriously consider what the psalmists say:

“Praise him, sun and moon, praise him, all you shining stars! Praise him, you highest heavens, and you waters above the heavens! Let them praise the name of the Lord! For he commanded and they were created. And he established them forever and ever; he gave a decree, and it shall not pass away” (Ps. 148:3-5, ESV).

“The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims his handiwork. Day to day pours out speech, and night to night reveals knowledge” (Ps. 19:1,2).

“When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him?” (Ps. 8:3,4).

Niki Hardy