Robyn Dykstra
12 min read ⭑
“I’ve discovered that saying yes to less — less activity, less hustle and bustle — allows me to be fully present, taking time to reset with God. And that, in turn, actually energizes my creativity and multiplies my progress on projects at home and work.”
QUESTION #1: ACQUAINT
There’s much more to food than palate and preference. How does a go-to meal at your favorite hometown restaurant reveal the true you behind the web bio?
I notice meals always taste better with people who love me and laugh with me, don’t you? So my go-to meal is whatever’s next and hopefully shared with new friends or old chums.
Speaking of mealtime, my husband says I eat like a bird — or maybe a pterodactyl! I love to eat. If it looks interesting and tastes delicious, I’m all in. Or rather, it’s all in.
That’s why my go-to meal is probably the one in front of me.
I come from a long line of hardworking Midwesterners — teachers, nurses, housepainters and firefighters. Food doesn’t have to be fancy. I get as excited about an Ultradog from Yesterdog here in Grand Rapids, Michigan, as I do about a meal at an expensive restaurant.
I always eat dessert first — and sometimes last as well (assuming there are no children I’d be corrupting). I’ll go out of my way for a pig’s delight, which is a turtle sundae made with frozen custard. If you haven’t had one, I’m so sorry. You should stop reading immediately and go get one.
I’m in full-time ministry as a speaker with my husband, Mr. 4-Ever. (Or you can call him Dave. Just not Mr. Perfect — I don’t want that to stick.) When we’re on the road, going to or from a gig, we look for local spots, places with smokehouse brisket, homemade pies or hand-dipped onion rings. If BBQ isn’t an option, I’m a sucker for fresh salsa and chips.
Priscilla Du Preez; Unsplash
QUESTION #2: REVEAL
We’ve all got quirky proclivities and out-of-the-way interests. So what are yours? What so-called "nonspiritual" activities do you love and help you find spiritual renewal?
This question makes me wish I were outdoorsy. Then I could tell you how I connected with God and refreshed my soul with a brisk hike in the cool mountain air. But the truth is, the only time I go outside is when I’m walking to or from the car.
I love playing games — and by games, I do not mean sports. I mean card games and board games, which require very little physical activity, some strategy and a lot of chatter. And people. Let me not forget the people.
Hospitality at my house is a simple meal that Mr. 4-Ever grills, followed by one of my (almost) famous desserts. Then we clear the table, and the games begin. I love people in my house — not hordes, not crowds, just one or two couples.
Undistracted by the play of the game, conversation flows, laughter erupts and connections form. This is where my heart is: being with my people.
Sometimes during the conversation, heartfelt stories slide out, and the news is shockingly bad. That’s when we pause the game, and my dining room becomes holy ground where we hear each other’s struggles, share our pain and pray for victory.
These sacred eyeball-to-eyeball moments create a bond of belonging among us and hope in the one who can do the impossible.
QUESTION #3: CONFESS
Every superhero has a weakness. Every human, too. We're just good at faking it. But who are we kidding? We’re broken and in this thing together. So what’s your kryptonite and how do you hide it?
Sugar cookies. My kryptonite is sugar cookies. I cannot resist them. They perform perfectly for every occasion, take any shape, can be beautifully decorated and are deliciously sweet.
Like sugar cookies, I can shape-shift to fit into scenarios. I can be as beautiful, sweet, clever, funny or entertaining as necessary so I will be chosen, accepted and adored ... the one everyone likes and wants to be with.
For decades, I didn’t know how to be me or how to show up authentically for others, so I hid all those insecurities behind a mask of performance.
Then I was introduced to the Enneagram as explained by expert and Jesus follower Suzanne Stabile. It was revelatory.
I learned that, as a Type Three (Performer/Achiever), I will always lean toward performing to be seen and achieving to find acceptance — unless I can find significance that satisfies on a soul level. That depth of significance can only come from God, who made me, knows my deepest, darkest secrets, loves me as I am and calls me his child.
When I live like I believe that, I show up authentically and don’t show off to get you to like or accept me.
That said, I’m a work in progress. (I mean, who isn’t, right?) When I’m stressed or scared, I can still turn into a sugar cookie, morphing into character, stealing the spotlight and searching for acceptance under pretenses.
I continue to work on my beliefs about being enough by spending time with Jesus, working with a spiritual director and inviting trusted friends to nudge me when they see me start to frost my sugar cookie to fit the occasion.
QUESTION #4: FIRE UP
Tell us about your toil. How are you investing your professional time right now? What’s your obsession? And why should it be ours?
I just got my Medicare insurance card. Yikes! That was a wake-up call. That greeting from the government on your 65th birthday shouts, “You are now officially old, and old people fall apart. So here’s more health coverage. You’ll probably need it.”
That card jump-started an internal dialogue: Uh-oh, girl. Time is short. You definitely have a lot more years behind you than ahead. Time to make hay! Write that bucket list and get busy making it happen.
I have no desire to hike through the Himalayas, visit all seven continents or run for office. What gets me up in the morning is pouring biblical truth and Holy Spirit hope into women at live events across the country.
So the first thing on my bucket list is concentrating on how I can do more speaking. If I’m in your area, swing in and get a fresh infusion of God’s love. If you host gatherings, maybe I’d be a good fit to speak to your peeps?
At 65, I’m seriously taking stock of the wisdom I’ve accumulated and the skills I’ve developed so I can strategically equip others for the ministry of sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Have you ever seen elephants on parade? A mature, experienced lead elephant sticks her tail out to the elephant behind her, who hooks on with her trunk. Tail to trunk, elephant after elephant, the parade follows in the steps of the lead elephant.
I’m intentionally multiplying the message of Jesus by multiplying the messengers. I’ve got my “tail” extended to lead women who are called to start or grow their own speaking ministry.
I’m hard at work on a course to teach what I’ve learned over the past three decades of ministry. “Christian Speakers Boot Camp” equips women with the basics of how to write powerful biblical messages, how to present those messages with confidence and where to find places to deliver those messages.
QUESTION #5: BOOST
Cashiers, CEOs, contractors or customer service reps, we all need grace flowing into us and back out into the world. How does the Holy Spirit invigorate your work? And how do you know it's God when it happens?
Years ago, my mom got really sick. The kind of sick that forces you to organize your legal documents and make phone calls to say, “I love you” or “I’m sorry.”
My very busy life hit pause because hers did. For weeks at a time, I sat in a baby-blue, Naugahyde-covered chair next to her hospital bed, holding her hand, singing little ditties and begging God for more time.
That awful season taught me the value of being fully present with people. Of not rushing. Of sitting in the quiet. Of sitting in the pain. Of sitting in the waiting.
It’s in those moments when my ear is inclined to the Holy Spirit, eager to hear a good word or news of a reprieve, that I’m most likely to catch his whisper. Much like a thought traipsing across the backyard of my brain, he tenderly assures, gently corrects and quietly leads.
The exquisite closeness I had with the Lord while my mom was in the hospital created in me a yearning for it to continue after she was released and life resumed. Instead of returning to business as normal, madly dashing here and there, juggling and multitasking like a machine, I slowed my pace. I took time to be with my people. I made time to be with God. I read my Bible. I journaled my thoughts, my prayers. I sat in silence, waiting to sense the Holy Spirit’s presence — listening for his still, small voice to traipse across the backyard of my brain, bringing fresh words for today.
This is such a simple thing, but I hope you don’t miss it or discount it. It is not duty or obligation, nor is it formulaic. Slowing down to be present with people and to experience the Holy Spirit’s presence is truly rejuvenating and life giving.
Interestingly, I’ve discovered that saying yes to less — less activity, less hustle and bustle — allows me to be fully present, taking time to reset with God. And that, in turn, actually energizes my creativity and multiplies my progress on projects at home and work.
QUESTION #6: inspire
Scripture and tradition beckon us into the rich and varied actions that open our hearts to the presence of God. So spill it, which spiritual practice is workin' best for you right now?
I signed up for one of those experiential coaching programs at my husband’s urging. He’d taken the training and could not stop talking about it. “Wonderful” and all its synonyms gushed forth from him. So I signed up. Three months of in-depth coaching and accountability.
I had to set a professional goal and a personal goal. For the professional goal, I pledged to write 1,000 words a day to establish a writing discipline and complete the manuscript for my book, “The Widow Wore Pink” — my story of transformation from Playboy Bunny and club dancer to Jesus follower. And just for good measure, I committed to making 100 sales calls a week to find places to tell that story.
Since my professional goals were certainly a stretch, I needed an easy personal goal. “I’ll read through the Bible,” I announced to the class. How hard could that be?
I bought a large-print, two-column, red-letter New International Version with 2,036 pages. Divide that by 84 days, and all I had to read was 25 pages a day.
Lord, have mercy! If you miss just one day, it becomes 50 pages a day. Miss another day, and it’s now 75!
Thirty days in, I was wishing I’d chosen something easier, like learning Chinese or running a marathon. I made it, but it took all the fun out of reading the Bible, and it put a real damper on my desire to do so.
About a year later, I was invited to speak at a women’s retreat. They wanted me to teach the women how to read the Bible on a regular basis. God, you are so sneaky!
I taught a variety of ways to read the Bible for pleasure:
Read one chapter a day.
Use a chronological Bible.
Read one book over and over — such as Proverbs, Genesis or John.
Read just the Gospels.
Listen to dramatized audio recordings of the Bible.
Focus reading only the red letters (words of Jesus).
Read just the stories (David and Goliath, Jonah, Ruth, Jesus feeding the 5,000, Paul’s conversion and so on).
Without being pressured to fly through the text, I rediscovered the character, kindness and compassion of God through his Word.
Reading the Bible to gain bragging rights, to check a box on your to-do list or to memorize the genealogy of Jesus will not lead you to his love, peace or magnificence.
There are times when the Bible is a textbook, but I’ve found that when I use it as a conduit to knowing the heart of God, it’s so much better.
QUESTION #7: FOCUS
Our email subscribers get free ebooks featuring our favorite resources — lots of things that have truly impacted our faith lives. But you know about some really great stuff, too. What are three resources that have impacted you?
Bible Studies: I’m a Bible study nerd, and two of my favorite studies are “The Armor of God” by Priscilla Shirer and “On Bended Knee: Praying Like Prophets, Warriors, and Kings” written by Crickett Keith.
Television: I don’t mind being entertained while I’m being inspired. If that’s you, too, you have to watch “The Chosen” series, which depicts what life walking around with Jesus might have been like.
Books: Prayer is my superpower. Well, the power is really God’s, but when I partner with him in prayer, it feels like I’m part of something far bigger than myself. One of the best books on prayer is “The Circle Maker: Praying Circles Around Your Biggest Dreams and Greatest Fears” by Mark Batterson. It’s so good and will catapult your own prayer life into the superpower category.
Music: Sitting and soaking in the worship of Bethel Music is more than music to my ears. It lifts my spirit, awakens my faith and prophesies the sounds of heaven.
We all have things we cling to to survive (or thrive) in tough times. Name one resource you’ve found indispensable in this current season — and tell us what it's done for you.
I know, I know — you’re hoping to read some super-spiritual exercise that will ignite a fresh fire within you or at least help you discipline your spiritual life a bit. The pressure to give life-changing answers is pretty heavy!
I could talk about journaling, which I do every morning, scribbling my thoughts, writing out my prayers, listing what I’m thankful for and jotting down any Holy Spirit thoughts.
But I’m not going to choose journaling for you. That starts my day, but what really revives me is a bath every night.
Without Jesus, I’m a mean girl. Or at least I was and still can be more often than I care to admit. Before I surrendered to him, I bent rules, ignored deadlines and made everything all about me. I tore others down to feel better about myself. I made a mess of my relationships. My quick wit and snappy comebacks were hilarious unless you were the butt of the joke. I wielded sarcasm like a ninja whirls nunchucks.
I want a sort of baptism bath every night. There’s something about sliding into my extra-deep clawfoot tub, dusty with the day’s hurts and missteps, and drowning my sorrows in the soak. I come out of that water clean. Refreshed. Relaxed. Revitalized. Reset.
QUESTION #8: dream
God is continually stirring new things in each of us. So give us the scoop! What’s beginning to stir in you but not yet fully awakened? What can we expect from you in the future?
My husband has started gardening. Lord, have mercy! It’s a lot of work to grow food and flowers. He’s outside every day watering, fertilizing, pruning, chasing off burrowing animals and contending with the bugs and diseases that feast on his plants.
Without that hard work, my husband would never have a beautiful garden. In the same way, we can’t realize a spiritual harvest if we don’t nurture our spiritual growth. When left neglected, bitterness grows where forgiveness should be. Comparisons kill off contentment. Anger flourishes when patience and gentleness are uprooted. Idolatry takes over the plot where trust was originally planted, and perfectionism displaces courage.
I have to preach this message to myself constantly so I don’t allow procrastination to take root where
God seeded calling and creativity. I weed out the messages from the enemy that try to persuade me to let my ground go fallow.
In everything I do, whether speaking from the stage at a retreat or conference or writing a book or one of my weekly devotionals, my goal is to lead listeners and readers to take their next step closer to Jesus. That could be saying yes to him for the first time, trusting him with more of their lives or joining him in ministry to others.
For my 2022 speaking season, I’m writing a new series of messages that will woo, challenge and guide audiences to cultivate their spiritual growth and experience a harvest of God’s best. It’s a big dream, but I serve a big God.
Many of us can think of something we believe God is calling us to do — something that changes either us or the world around us. That dream could be as big as launching a ministry or as personal as strengthening our relationship with Jesus.
But fewer of us are actively working toward that dream. The sad reality is that only 8% of people end up achieving their goals, reports Inc.
The truth is, if we want to step into what we believe God is calling us to, we have to do more than merely think about it.
So what big dream burns in your heart, friend? And what are you actively doing to pursue it?
Robyn Dykstra was once a Playboy Bunny, but now she’s a full-time Bible teacher, speaking at women’s retreats and conferences across the U.S. Robyn’s captivating storytelling, Bible teaching and humorous illustrations leave audiences laughing as they learn more about God’s love. Her bestselling memoir, The Widow Wore Pink, is her true story of life after loss (she was widowed twice) and the power of a loving God to redeem and restore lives. Robyn and her husband, Dave, live and worship in Grand Rapids, Michigan. For free weekly devotionals to help you take your next step with Jesus, go to robyndykstra.com.
