Ruth Chou Simons

As an author, entrepreneur, artist, speaker and mom of six boys, Ruth Chou Simons knows she needs God’s grace every day. For her, relying on God’s grace isn’t a mere cliché. It’s the theme of her life, a heart-changing truth that shows up in the way she runs her art shop, GraceLaced Co., writes her blogs and books, speaks on stage and loves her family.

In her latest book, "When Strivings Cease," Ruth opens up about her journey to understanding grace and the gospel in a deeper way than ever before. And in today’s interview, you’ll be inspired and equipped as she gets even more vulnerable about her need for Jesus, her struggles to simply receive from him and her current toil and obsession.

The following is a transcript of a live interview. Responses have been edited and condensed for brevity and clarity.

QUESTION #1: ACQUAINT

There’s much more to food than palate and preference. How does a go-to meal at your favorite hometown restaurant reveal the true you behind the web bio?

Growing up in the Southwest, I spent many years of my life in Albuquerque, New Mexico, and have now lived in the southwestern part of the state of Colorado for four years. I wear a turquoise ring on my right hand — that constant nod and a reminder that the Lord has shaped my life around the desert and the Southwest. So I kind of can’t go a week without green chili. It’s as though chili is woven into the fabric of my being. Green and red chili, when you grow up in New Mexico, is a big part of your life. So now, I still make sure I get the authentic stuff.

I live in Durango, Colorado (on the southwestern side of the state), so it’s more rugged and rural. There’s no Target within an hour’s drive. That’s the kind of life I live — no Target, no Costco, no Trader Joe’s. But the mountains where I live are lovely, and I’m grateful I can still access chilis. So I would say the go-to for me is a restaurant here in Durango called Oscars Cafe. They have a bowl for breakfast that includes green chili sauce smothered all over hash browns in a very easy fried egg.

QUESTION #2: REVEAL

We’ve all got quirky proclivities and out-of-the-way interests. So, what are yours? What so-called “nonspiritual” activities do you love and help you find spiritual renewal?

I don’t think this counts as a guilty pleasure, but I love to style people. I love to shop and style fellow speakers or women who say, “I don't think I can wear skinny jeans.” I love to simplify the process of tackling a department store and making a capsule wardrobe that works for another woman. So if I wasn’t doing GraceLaced Co. and writing and publishing, I think that my hidden gifting might be that I love to bring beauty into an everyday, tangible way.

I don’t think we should be afraid of expressing ourselves through fashion or admitting that it can be enjoyable. Just like food, which God made for our enjoyment within a healthy parameter, fashion really can be a way in which we can reflect God’s creativity and beauty in an everyday sense.

QUESTION #3: CONFESS

Every superhero has a weakness. Every human too. We’re just good at faking it. But who are we kidding? We’re broken and in this thing together. So, what’s your kryptonite and how do you hide it?

Well, I have a lot, but I would say the most surprising one for a lot of people to hear from me is that I have pretty tremendous stage fright. It’s kind of crazy that I do. I’m in an industry that requires that I show up, and not just show up, but show up with passion and poise and polish and charisma. And I do well in person. I actually love speaking — I do love it — but there’s a physical reaction. The fear of looking foolish shuts me down. I think the kryptonite that’s down deep is that my pride wants only to succeed. That’s the book that I wrote. I mean, my pride wants to make sure that I never look foolish, that I don’t show up less than I want to be, that I’m never a disappointment.

When you show up live on stage, you can’t edit, you can’t truly memorize everything you’re going to say. It doesn’t go through 20 passes and galleys before it gets presented, which is hard for an artist and an author like me. When I’m speaking, it’s just me. It’s just the real me standing there. And so I keep showing up and doing it because it’s one of the few things that reminds me that God’s using my weakness more than he’s using my strength. And so when you ask me on stage, I want to throw up right away. Immediately, I think, Oh, my goodness. But then afterward, I’m always grateful for the opportunity. What it reveals to me is that I still have a lot to work through regarding my pride and desire to earn approval from others.

QUESTION #4: FIRE UP

Tell us about your toil. How are you investing your professional time right now? What’s your obsession? And why should it be ours?

I’ve spent the last seven years running a ministry and business called GraceLaced.com, and I get to show my artwork in different lifestyle products. Before that, I had a blog I wrote faithfully on for a total of 13 years. But I’ve never shared the behind-the-scenes reason the word grace matters in my life. I’ve never shared why grace is the cornerstone and the namesake of my ministry or why I spent time writing previous devotional formatted books about how the gospel intersects our daily life. They’ve been a really beautiful book, but I haven’t shared what it took to get to that point.

So I’m currently launching and releasing a vulnerable work. The book is called “When Strivings Cease: Replacing the Gospel of Self-Improvement with the Gospel of Life-Transforming Grace.” For industry people, it’s my first trade book, meaning it’s the first book I’ve created that’s primarily words, not equal parts artwork and words. It’s a book-book. I’m turning 46 in a few weeks and it has taken 46 years for me to get to the point where I can tell the story. How my upbringing as an Asian-American who pursued achievement and performance and honor at all costs, coupled with my Western mentality of belonging and approval seeking, caused me to live in a constant cycle of wanting to earn favor and approval.

I’m speaking to the women who are currently reading books and listening to all the podcasts and shows and signing up for all the webinars to be better, be faster, have more strategies, be prettier — on the off-chance that everybody else is as tired as I am. I am writing this book to be the glass of cold water for those of us who may have, in all the toiling, forgotten that we were made by grace, through faith and it’s not of our own works. I think it’s time for this generation to rediscover that grace wasn’t just what saved us so that we wouldn’t have to go to hell. It’s what sustains us, transforms us and sanctifies us for all the change and growth that we can never accomplish through self-reliance, self-help or an addiction to self-improvement.

That’s the heartbeat of the book. It’s probably weird to say I’m obsessed with grace and that I desperately want others not to miss it, but that’s the truth. The truth is, I don’t want you to simply say, “Oh, grace — grace is that pretty word on my mug from Hobby Lobby.” I want you to know why amazing grace is truly that amazing. And I’ve spent so much time wrapping my mind around what seems simple but is actually beyond — beyond — what we can ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20). I spent so much time being in awe of amazing grace and I just can’t wait to pass it on and for somebody who reads it to say, “This is what I’ve been missing. I’ve been trying to be amazing this whole time. And really, God’s grace is so amazing that I don’t have to be.”

QUESTION #5: BOOST

Cashiers, CEOs, contractors or customer service reps, we all need grace flowing into us and back out into the world. How does the Holy Spirit invigorate your work? And how do you know it's God when it happens?

This is truly a good question because I think we’d all like to say that we’re walking in step with the Spirit all day every day. And the truth is, it’s an ongoing process in my life. When I think about not being drunk on wine but instead being consumed by the Spirit (see Ephesians 5:18), that’s how we exhibit the fruit of Spirit. That’s how we ultimately walk in the Spirit. Something is taking over our lives; something is causing us to be totally wrapped up, motivated, focused. A lot of times, I have to stop and go, Am I really driven and propelled by the Spirit? Am I really asking and inviting the Spirit to be a part of everything that I'm doing today? Or am I just muffling through and trying to conquer it on my own? The truth is, you can’t give away what you don’t have. We will never have everything it takes to love the world or serve the world. And that’s why we need grace. That’s why we need the gift of God’s grace to change and transform us.

I think a lot about that even in parenting — I’m a mom of six boys. I often think about how much I want them to feel like they have a love for God’s Word or a desire to speak kindly to one another or some self-control or self-discipline. It’s hard to have them catch that. More is caught than taught, right? It’s hard for them to catch that if I don’t even exhibit that in my own life. It doesn’t matter if you’re a cashier, CEO, contractor or customer service rep. Some of us are engaged with 50 people in a day, or maybe just five. Some of us have kids who are sitting around our kitchen table, and some of us are reaching 5,000 through public conversation or social media. I think each of us has to consider that the words we speak and the tone in which we speak will be directly impacted by how much we’re consumed by the very grace that we want to give and deliver. You can’t start with simply thinking, I’m going to be gracious today. You have to start with a mindset that says, I want to be a gracious recipient today. Once you start there, you have a reservoir out of which to operate.

QUESTION #6: inspire

Scripture and tradition beckon us into the rich and varied actions that open our hearts to the presence of God. So, spill it, which spiritual practice is workin' best for you right now?

I don’t know if it’s that the pandemic quickened me in this, but I feel an all-new desperation to pray. I have not been a very avid pray-er. You know how some people are great pray-ers — they’re prayer warriors. They will stop right in the middle of any conversation and just grab your shoulder and pray over you. That’s not my natural inclination — I’m naturally inclined to do, not to rest. I’m naturally inclined to keep running and then talk to God about it later. But in this season, I’ve embraced the mystery or the beautiful. I have to have music playing. I have my time with the Lord, but I’ve gotten a little bit more desperate about it. I talk to God all the time now. It’s kind of surprising to me, too, but I find that I am praying out loud a lot and going on walks and actually talking to him. I get in the car and, rather than trying to wait till I have peace and quiet or waiting for a specific time when I can pray a specific way, I’m finding it extremely necessary to speak to him and then to recall, even verbally, the truth I need to remember.

If I were to point to some sort of a spiritual process in my life right now, it's that in my time with the Word, I’m needing to be both auditory and visual. I’m reading, while I’m listening. I think there’s a numbness that’s happening when you’re grieving, when our whole country is grieving, when the whole world is grieving. Everybody feels the ache of things not being quite right. And when we feel that way, it’s really easy to just kind of go through the motions — and it’s not like going through the motions isn’t working for me. So I have to reengage and say, Okay, God is a real, real Father in my life. He is real and I'm not going to just pray in my head, in my mind. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but for me, I have to engage him as a person. I have to engage his word like it’s an actual conversation. That’s made all the difference for me.

QUESTION #7: FOCUS

Our email subscribers get free ebooks featuring our favorite resources — lots of things that have truly impacted our faith lives. But you know about some really great stuff, too. What are some resources that have impacted you?

One of the most impactful resources that have shaped who I am today would be Elyse Fitzpatrick’s early book called “Because He Loves Me: How Christ Transforms Our Daily Life.” It was probably one of the first times that I really grasped the concept of grace. In the first few pages of the book, she takes all these scattered verses from the beginning of Scripture to the end to show the thread of the redemption story. I read it all the way through, didn’t skip over it and didn’t think it was boring — even though I knew all the verses and read them all before. I got to the end and thought, Oh, my goodness. I’m wowed by the gospel. I think there’s a reason grace matters to me today — because the gospel intersected my daily life at that moment and continues to do so. So I highly recommend that resource because I care about it so much and it was so special to me.

Another one is John Piper’s “Future Grace, Revised Edition: The Purifying Power of the Promises of God.” If you’ve ever read Piper’s books, you know it won’t exactly be easy reading. (I probably skipped a few pages.) But in my current book, I share how one of the most defining moments for me occurred when I read Chapter 2 of Piper’s book, where he talks about the debtor’s ethic. He talked about how, even in Asian cultures, there is a desire to pay God back for all the gifts you receive. And it clicked for me. When I read that, I thought, Oh, that’s exactly what I do. I so often think, ‘Thank you, God, for these good gifts, the gift of grace and the gift of forgiveness. And now I'm going to show you that I deserve these things. I'm going to make sure I pay you back. And show you that I'm worthy of it.’ Processing that made such a difference in my growth and my understanding of what grace is.

The third resource is Sandra McCracken. Sandra had an album years ago called “The Builder and the Architect.” Years ago, every word of that album grew me. I think it was probably before I was listening to any of the modern hymns that we now hear from Matt Boswell or Matt Papa. At the time, it was so refreshing to hear music that essentially rehearsed the gospel to me and helped me remember what it is I truly believe.

Those three resources shaped the best season of my life. It was pre-ministry. It was before the throes of motherhood. And it was the season that made me realize that I can’t compartmentalize my theology within the day I walked the aisle and said, I want to follow Jesus. All of that mattered in my everyday life, whether I was sweeping Cheerios off the ground or I was speaking on the stage. I had to know why the gospel mattered. And those three resources helped me.

We all have things we cling to to survive (or thrive) in tough times. Name one resource you’ve found indispensable in this current season — and tell us what it's done for you.

I’m currently using the Dwell app. I didn’t think I would need it quite this much! I can listen to and read my Bible through the ESV Bible app, but I’ll be honest, I don’t really want to get up and read my Bible most days — I just don’t. Most days I feel I could get further ahead with my day if I just got in my inbox and answered some emails. There’s no magic formula to win. You should spend time in the Word, but there’s no magic to it being at 5 in the morning. But I will say it won’t happen for me, oftentimes, if I wait until the very end of the day.

I got to a point where I was discouraged, thinking, “What is going on in my heart if I’m just having such a hard time focusing?” We go through seasons like that. Sometimes we feel we’re getting so much out of our times in the Word. And then other times we wonder why we’re struggling. And so in this particular season, I’m grateful for the DwelI app.

What I love about Dwell is that I can choose an accent and an accompanying soundtrack for the background — so I choose guitar music. And up until recently, I was listening to Felix from South Africa, but now I think I’m listening to Maggie from Australia. It just helps me stop getting weirdly fixated on it being the thing I’m supposed to do, the duty and simply enjoy it. So I listened and followed along in my app through all of Nehemiah the other day. It was the most I’ve gotten out of Nehemiah in a long time because when the Scripture is just in my head, it’s flat. But when I listen, I can hear the inflection of the voice speaking. And so that’s been helpful for me.

QUESTION #8: dream

God is continually stirring new things in each of us. So, give us the scoop! What’s beginning to stir in you but not yet fully awakened? What can we expect from you in the future?

I feel like I’ve got so many things going on at times that it’s hard to look ahead. Sometimes I feel a little bit alone in being the founder of a retail space. I’m in e-commerce. I manufacture products, not just ideas. I manufacture hard goods, plus I’m writing books and speaking. So sometimes I wonder who else is doing that kind of work at the same level or under the same pressure as I am. There’s a part of me that sometimes wonders who else is out there who feels perhaps somewhat lonely and is wondering how to not lose their soul while doing social media, how to be a Christian businesswoman and care about profit and scaling without obsessing over numbers so much that I end up going to resources that only talk about funnel and fortune.

I genuinely feel like there is perhaps a little gap in the market for the kind of encouragement and life lessons that I have to offer as an older woman in the industry. Not that much older than a lot of people, of course, but I sometimes wonder, Where are the retreats or the gatherings that are not just about getting discovered or just getting published but that actually teach people how to steward each of these platforms in a way that keeps them running steadfastly across the finish line? That’s where my passion is.

I’m a business owner, a communicator, an author and a momma. But at the end of the day, if I don’t run the race, then what am I doing? If I could look five or 10 years into the future, I would love an opportunity to speak into that issue for the younger women in this generation.

We live in a world that glorifies self-made success. Every day, we encounter marketing messages that tell us the “secrets” to becoming better versions of ourselves — with just a little self-help, right?

But in the kingdom of God, there’s no “self-help.” There’s just grace. God’s grace. The perfect grace that draws us to Jesus, saves us, cleanses us, and empowers us to live for God.

Today, friend, our prayer for you is that you go even deeper in understanding and embracing this all-encompassing grace so that, like the apostle John, you can always say, “From his fullness, [I] have received grace upon grace” (John 1:16, ESV).