Tim Muehlhoff
10 min read ⭑
“When we meet God, we’ll feel his acknowledgment and realize that we make him happy, much as a teacher delights in their student or a parent loves and praises their child. A weight of glory we’ll gladly carry — forever.”
Tim Meuhlhoff is committed to helping today’s Christians engage with our hostile culture with words that are full of truth and grace. As senior director of Biola’s Winsome Conviction Academy and co-host of the “Winsome Conviction Podcast,” Tim regularly answers questions about how to move beyond cancel culture to have meaningful conversations, how to maintain intellectual integrity and deep convictions, and how to foster friendship amid religious disagreement. His newest book, “Authentic Communication: Christian Speech Engaging Culture, 2nd edition,” offers resources from research and the Bible to help believers strengthen their communication skills.
Below, Tim responds to Rapt’s standard eight questions — insights you’ll only find here. He shares the joys of marrying into a proud Irish family, how martial arts helped bring him to Jesus and why responding to insults with blessings should set apart every Christian communicator.
QUESTION #1: ACQUAINT
Food is always about more than food; it’s also about home and people and love. So how does a go-to meal at your favorite hometown restaurant reveal the true you behind your web bio?
I won the relational lottery when I married into a proud Irish family! How can you tell if it’s an authentic Irish family? If you’re singing “Danny Boy” at midnight in Gaelic, you’ve arrived.
While on occasion we’ve taken the entire family to Ireland, it’s not a quick trip. We get our fix by converting our home in Brea, California, into an Irish pub each year to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day with dear friends. Introducing them to Irish culture while we eat corned beef that melts in your mouth, steamed potatoes and cabbage is a rich time filled with laughter. Our friends joke that while the food is great, everything is merely a prelude to the best part of the meal — Irish coffee overflowing with whipped heavy cream! For the entire day, counting calories or saturated fat levels is strictly forbidden. Family and friends bring me my greatest joy in life, and to sit together over Irish cuisine, learn Irish idioms and marvel at the faith of St. Patrick is the perfect meal.
Max Griss; Unsplash
QUESTION #2: REVEAL
What “nonspiritual” activity have you found to be quite spiritual, after all? What quirky proclivity, out-of-the-way interest or unexpected pursuit refreshes your soul?
Sweat is flowing as I finish a kata practiced by martial artists spanning centuries. A kata is comprised of precisely orchestrated moves simulating fighting off imaginary attackers.
Who knew the role martial arts would play in my coming to faith and growing closer to God? I grew up in a non-Christian house where we never attended church — not even during Christmas or Easter. I came to faith through an unlikely ministry: Michael Crane’s Karate for Christ. I love that — jujitsu for Jesus! I had been working on my black belt as a teenager, and nothing would have gotten me into a church except for a karate demonstration. I was invited to attend and did so to see concrete slabs smashed with bare hands and a watermelon sliced off a person’s stomach with a Samurai sword. All was spectacular to see. Crane closed the night by introducing us to Jesus, and the rest is history.
Today, I still practice my katas nearly every day. Complex moves that have carefully been handed down from practitioner to practitioner. As I perform these ancient moves, I can’t help but think of spiritual disciplines — prayer, solitude, fasting, worship — that equally have been handed down to us as followers of Christ. These martial art rhythms mirror the rhythms of the Christian walk. The apostle Paul urges Timothy, “Train yourself for godliness” (1 Tim. 4:7, ESV). Being disciplined in one realm — martial arts — feeds my desire to be spiritually disciplined.
QUESTION #3: CONFESS
Every superhero has a weakness; every human, too. We’re just good at faking it. But who are we kidding? We’re all broken and in this thing together. So what’s your kryptonite and how do you confront its power?
“See me!”
I had turned in my first paper in grad school and received this ominous note — written in red. I knew the paper had problems. I played three sports in high school and never studied, and I had the grades to prove it. Somehow, I got into college and immediately became a communication major, hoping we’d give speeches instead of writing papers. It mostly worked. Yet my writing skills continued to decline.
In grad school, there was no place to hide as I met with my professor. With paper in hand, I sat at her desk. “Mr. Muehlhoff,” she began, “you can’t write.” I nodded in agreement. “Do you want to fix that?” she offered. I took her up on it. On every following paper I wrote for her, she’d commend me on my ideas and then teach me grammar, sentence syntax and composition.
I’d go on to become a professor, occasional writing coach and author. Yet the small voice often remains: “You can’t write.” I honestly do well with my books being reviewed or receiving a somewhat negative score on Rate My Professors. However, my kryptonite is anyone slightly suggesting my writing — not ideas — needs work. When it happens, I’m immediately transported back to my first year of grad school, wondering if I can cut it. Even writing this, I hesitate. Doing an interview is fine; bring it on! But when I must write it down, there is an ever-so-slight pause.
QUESTION #4: FIRE UP
Tell us about your toil. How are you investing your professional time right now? What’s your current obsession? And why should it be ours?
At a time when it seems we can’t agree on anything, 98% of Americans state that incivility is a serious problem, while 67% agree it’s reached crisis levels. From cyberbullying to hate speech, workplace harassment, demonizing political language, verbal abuse and intolerance, most of us (87%) no longer feel safe in public places sharing our opinions. It is no exaggeration to say we are having a communication crisis!
I serve as the senior director of Biola University’s Winsome Conviction Academy, which seeks to open lines of communication between people who disagree. When I meet with Christian groups, I ask: What should set apart the Christian communicator? For sure, we have deep convictions, but should we be any different in how we express those beliefs?
In his first letter, the apostle Peter gives us a clue when he states that believers, “Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless” (1 Pet. 3:9, ESV). Rather, they should respond with a blessing (3:9). I wouldn’t blame you if you thought Peter was being unrealistic. I mean, I’m supposed to respond to a person insulting me with a blessing of some kind? I’ve come to believe a blessing-for-insult response would set us apart in today’s argument culture! I’ve explained what Peter means and does not mean by a blessing in my newest book, “Authentic Communication: Christian Speech Engaging Culture, 2nd edition.”
QUESTION #5: BOOST
Whether we’re cashiers or CEOs, contractors or customer service reps, we all need God’s love flowing into us and back out into the world. How does the Holy Spirit invigorate your work? And how do you know it’s God when it happens?
What most inspires me is a good book. One that stays with you long after you’ve turned the last page. In grad school, I started a simple practice that continues to foster my creativity. Once a book is finished, I type out three quotes into what I simply call my Quote File. I certainly have more than three quotes highlighted, but I make sure to record at least three. Over time, God has used this file to encourage me in very specific ways.
My university is small compared to other large universities in Southern California. The same is true of the Winsome Conviction Project, of which I am the director. Do a quick Google search for civility training, and you’ll quickly come across much larger groups housed in more prestigious schools (Harvard) or with key endorsers like Johnathan Haidt. Not so for us.
I recently read a book in which God directly spoke to me about this issue. The author asserted that God often works through “small, good things.” A ministry, book or podcast may not gain national notoriety or be a bestseller, but God uses it for specific purposes to encourage specific people. Just last month, I received an email from a pastor who said the internal conflict of his small congregation was deeply discouraging, and he’d thought about quitting. Then he stumbled upon the podcast I host, “The Winsome Conviction Podcast.” He found it greatly encouraging. He now listens regularly to my small, good thing.
QUESTION #6: inspire
Scripture and tradition beckon us into the rich and varied habits that open our hearts to the presence of God. So let us in. Which spiritual practice is working best for you in this season?
Every morning I have a choice to make. Do I practice a moment of solitude, or do I open my email and get pulled into a technological riptide? The busier life becomes, the more I need to choose solitude. What does practicing this discipline look like?
In the early morning, while it’s still dark, I leash up our family dog and head out for a walk. Most mornings, very few house lights are even on. I love the quiet. Before I jump into my list of petitions, I thank God for these quiet moments.
The power of love is where our dog comes in. Raleigh is a rescue dog we adopted during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic. She was picked up on the street and turned in to a shelter. When we’d try to take her for a walk, she’d freeze at the slightest sound and wouldn’t move, resulting in us having to carry her home. Today, she loves her walks. What changed? Our consistent love over time. While walking, I look at her carefree gait and am reminded that “perfect love casts out fear” (1 John 4:18, ESV). The same is also true of me. I’ve been rescued by God and set free by consistent divine love. With this freedom, I can face any challenge my emails present when I return home.
QUESTION #7: FOCUS
Looking backward, considering the full sweep of your unique faith journey and all you encountered along the way, what resources stand out to you? What changed reality and changed your heart?
It’s hard to admit, but sometimes I feel God is distant. His divine attributes of being all-wise, unchanging and all-powerful can make him seem unrelatable to my everyday circumstances. What does the Almighty know of human toil and striving?
God has become more intimate as I encounter Jesus in the show “The Chosen.” If I were forced to pick a favorite scene, it would be where Jesus ministers to a woman declared ceremonially unclean due to unending hemorrhaging. The bleeding won’t stop and neither will the condemnation. After boldly touching Jesus, she is both delighted and scared. She never asked permission. Kneeling, Jesus calls her “daughter.”
She responds, “I am no one’s daughter.”
“Look at me,” Jesus responds. “You are my daughter.”
I’ve watched that scene repeatedly to remind me how God enters our pain in real time.
C.S. Lewis’s essay collection “The Weight of Glory” is often overlooked due to the popularity of his other books. Yet in the title essay, Lewis paints a picture of heaven that is deeply moving. Lewis suggests that heaven will be a time when the longing for acknowledgment will finally be fully achieved. Most of our lives, we long to be recognized by people at work or in our own family. When we meet God, we’ll feel his acknowledgment and realize that we make him happy, much as a teacher delights in their student or a parent loves and praises their child. A weight of glory we’ll gladly carry — forever.
Certain things can be godsends, helping us survive, even thrive, in our fast-paced world. Does technology ever help you this way? Has an app ever boosted your spiritual growth? If so, how?
Each morning, I’m immediately confronted with a choice. Do I make time for God or open my laptop and start responding to impatient emails demanding a response? If I choose to cultivate a time with God, what can I turn to?
For years, I’ve utilized the Pray As You Go app to avoid being swept into a technological riptide. When you first open it, this greeting awaits: “Welcome to your audio sanctuary.” Just what I need. I’m guided through a passage and asked not to merely listen but to wrestle with it. How does this specific truth apply to me this day? Some mornings, I’m half-falling asleep or itching to finish the session so I can get going with my day! Yet it always provides a pause and encouragement to refocus on God.
As with the introduction, each ending is the same, with me being invited to join a chorus of voices saying: “Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit. As it was in the beginning, is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.” What a rich reminder that I belong to two worlds or realms — the physical one clamoring for immediate attention and a spiritual one equally as real and needing attention as well.
QUESTION #8: dream
God’s continually stirring new things in each of us. So give us the scoop! What’s beginning to stir in you but not yet fully awakened? What can we expect from you in the future?
As an educator, I’m aware of a crisis that may surprise you. Studies show that the church in the United States is hemorrhaging faith. The Pew Research Center says that over 30% of individuals who were raised as Christians will no longer do so by the time they are 30 years old. Pew shockingly reports that for every one person who converts to Christianity, six leave the faith. I can’t tell you how many times students have sat in my office and in hushed voices say, “God doesn’t work for me anymore!” When I spoke at a recent event about this crisis, I asked how many people knew of someone who had left or was leaving the faith. Nearly everyone raised their hand.
If the goal of the Winsome Conviction Project is to raise up a new generation of Christians who eschew today’s argument culture to promote civility and compassion, then we are in danger of losing an entire generation of potential peacemakers! How to combat this hemorrhaging?
I’ve recently teamed up with a leading Christian scholar not only to study this deconversion phenomenon but to offer advice to parents, spouses, siblings and youth pastors on how to create a communication climate where doubting loved ones can talk openly and honestly. We are interviewing Christians who have left the faith, some of our dear friends, and those in the process of leaving, including noted social media influencers who have gone public with their stories of abandoning the Christian faith altogether.
Does God ever seem distant to you? As imperfect human beings, it’s easy to view God — a perfect being untouched by sin or error — and feel as though we can’t relate.
But Jesus changes all this. Yes, he never sinned as we have. But he has been tempted in every way, as we have (see Heb. 4:15). This means he not only got hungry and thirsty and hot and tired like we do — but he also was tempted to lust, to be greedy, to be selfish, to lash out with hurtful words, to shirk his responsibilities … just as we are.
Jesus — God himself — is not distant. He is not plastic in his perfection. He is love. And he is here.
Tim Muehlhoff is the senior director of Biola University’s Winsome Conviction Academy that tries to open lines of communication in today’s argument culture. His newest book, Authentic Communication: Christian Speech Engaging Culture, 2nd ed. shows how to approach hard conversations.