Rest is Just as Crucial as Action
Jim Daly
Focus on the Family
A weekly advice column written by Jim Daly, Focus on the Family draws upon a deep, abiding Christian faith to help heal broken marriages and troubled families, built on a foundation of “the power of hope and second chances.” Focus on the Family’s sound, Christian guidance gives readers helpful answers on how to navigate a steady path in an uncertain world.
Q: I'm a high-energy person; being busy keeps me happy. I get bored if I'm not doing something — career, church, socializing, hobbies, volunteer work, etc. A well-meaning friend suggested I slow down but that seems like a waste to me. What's your take?
Jim: Many busy people consider rest to be wasted time. They see an empty space where productivity "should" be. But that perspective misses the true value of rest. It's often perceived as an absence of something — versus being an active and beneficial component to our lives even when we're "not doing anything."
In music, there's an interval of silence called a rest. The casual listener may perceive the musical rest as an absence of sound, an empty space where nothing is happening. But to a musician, the silence (short or long) between notes is just as crucial to the song's rhythm and tempo as the notes themselves. Far from being void of purpose, the rest is active and helps frame the melody of the song.
In the same way, rest frames a healthy life. Our bodies, our minds and our emotions need time to recover from the stress and hard work we encounter throughout the week — even if we don't recognize it in the moment. Rest is also a crucial element to keeping our priorities in focus, especially concerning our marriage and our children.
So, I would strongly recommend listening to your friend. Taking an occasional break — a few minutes, a few hours, even a few days — can bring a whole new level of fulfillment (and productivity!) to the time we spend doing everything else.
By the way: If you want a physician's take on the subject, I'd suggest Dr. Richard Swenson's classic book "Margin."
Q: My 8-year-old son absolutely hates doing his homework assignments. How can I avoid arguing with him about this?
Dr. Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting & Youth: Whenever the kids get emotional about homework, it can be additionally frustrating for parents. Two things are important for peace to prevail. First, parents need to understand what the child is really saying about their homework. Statements like "I hate spelling" may actually translate into "I feel dumb" or "I'm not like other kids." Your child's emotional reactions make more sense when you grasp the reality of their insecurity and frustration.
Second, you must get a handle on how your child's homework frustration impacts you. Emotions are quickly triggered in these situations; misunderstandings can easily spiral into disconnection between parent and child.
You get to set the tone and model self-control to help your children find their footing. Kids who lash out about homework have let their emotions overcome their thinking. It's up to you to help them feel more grounded.
Difficulty with homework also challenges a child's self-confidence. When that happens, approach your son with compassion rather than defensiveness.
Here are some tips to help ease homework stress:
1. Encourage mental breaks. If your son is stuck, have him take a 5-minute timeout from his work.
2. Emphasize small, attainable goals. Help your son focus on incremental milestones rather than obsessing about the finish line.
3. Create a comfortable environment. For some kids, this might involve background music or a heater in the winter. Ask your son to help you come up with ideas to make study space ideal for concentrating.
4. Be available and patient. Just because your child may be "emotionally off" doesn't mean you need to be.
5. Celebrate at the end of the week — maybe with ice cream, a movie, a hike or a special game — when your child has owned homework time well.
Working on these things together will hopefully strengthen your overall relationship with your son. For more parenting tips, see FocusOnTheFamily.com.
Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author and president of Focus on the Family. He is also the host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at jimdaly.focusonthefamily.com or at Facebook.com/JimDalyFocus.
Distributed by Andrews McMeel Syndication. Copyright © 2025. Used with permission.
