Loving God and Ourselves
Until we are willing to love ourselves, we can struggle with loving God. We will push back against him. We might reject what he says. We will feel alone and angry. We will feel isolated from true connection — from feeling known and appreciated for who we are.
God wants to give this gift of grace to you now. He holds it out to you, his hands reaching for yours, his eyes on your face. While Jesus gives it to you, with his death and resurrection, his new life now available to you, it is up to you to accept it. And it is a daily acceptance, or rejection, of Jesus’ grace, God’s ultimate love.
Head out into a garden or inside the house, a place that feels good to you. Be aware of what area (outside or inside) is drawing you — then go towards it. As you find your space, put down everything in your hands. Then make yourself comfortable as you sit or lie down.
Take a deep breath.
And another.
What worry did you bring with you today? Name it, lay it down.
Father, I give you my heart, my concern with ______. I trust you with _____. I consecrate (surrender and bring under your authority) my mind, my thoughts, my ideas and my will. I consecrate my plans for this day, my emotions, my intentions and my expectations. I love you, and I choose to soak you in now. I choose to be with you.
Jesus’ love for his bride, the church — for you and me — is beyond anything we can understand or imagine. We get to see an aspect of God’s love in the tender verses of Song of Solomon, a book of the Bible that illustrates, through a man’s affections for his bride, God’s pursuit of us — the bride of Jesus Christ.
“You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you” (Song of Solomon 4:7).
When you hear God say this to you, his bride, how do you feel? Before you rush to answer that question…pause…take a deep breath…Let yourself feel the emotion you are feeling….and then tell him:
Father, when you say this to me, I feel______.
Then let your heart listen for God’s response to you. Close your eyes; be expectant. His response might be to just be with you….or show you a picture in your mind…or bring forth an idea in your heart…..or….
Sit with him in this quiet space (put on your headphones if it is loud around you and you feel distracted)...What does he say?
Read the verse again, putting your name in the place of “my love”: “You are altogether beautiful, ________; there is no flaw in you.”
Read it once more, but out loud this time, again putting your name in the blank space here: “___________, there is no flaw in you.”
What do you feel when he says, “there is no flaw in you”? Pause…take a deep breath….And then consider whether or not you believe him…..
Father, when you tell me there is no flaw in me, I feel _________
Tell him your thoughts. Don’t hold anything back. Share with him what you feel…and why.
Now, consider this: what is the biggest challenge you have in loving yourself — or in believing God could love you so intensely? Can you name what that challenge is? Spend a few minutes with the Father or Jesus or Holy Spirit now. Ask God to help you see what challenge you face in loving yourself — or in believing in God’s intense love for you.
Lord, show me what it is that is making me struggle to receive your love…
Pause. Linger here as you listen, in your heart, for what he says….If you feel like it, write down what you feel you hear.
Finally, read these verses from chapter 4 (verses 7 and 9) of Song of Solomon, these words to you:
Every part of you is so beautiful, my darling.
Perfect is your beauty, without flaw within….
For you reach into my heart.
With one flash of your eyes I am undone by your love,
my beloved, my equal, my bride.
You leave me breathless—
I am overcome
by merely a glance from your worshiping eyes,
for you have stolen my heart.
I am held hostage by your love
and by the graces of righteousness shining upon you.
God is telling you that your beauty leaves him “breathless,” and he is “overcome” when you simply glance at him. He says, “Every part of you is so beautiful.”
What does it mean to you to be beautiful in God’s eyes? Tell God your thoughts about this, or write them down in your journal.
Father, I think beauty is______________________________________.
What characteristics of beauty do you most hope God sees in you? Note what qualities below that you equate with beauty and you’d most like to possess:
peace
joy
physical beauty
patience
wisdom
honesty
self-confidence
open-mindedness
courage
kindness
humbleness
passionate
Father, when you look at me, I pray you see ______,_____,and ______.
And now, let’s give this definition of beauty back to him. Let’s surrender it — all of it. And then ask him what it is he specifically sees when he looks at you.
Father, I give you my definition of beauty. Show me my beauty. Show me what you see in me. . . .
Linger here a bit. Let your heart listen to his voice.
Finish your time with God by worshiping him.
Finally, as a closing prayer, speak back to God and claim the word/characteristic that you wrote down.
Amen.