Ashley Elliott

Ashley Elliott loves to make learning fun — a quality she regularly leans on in her work as a licensed counselor, coach and writer. With over a decade of experience in higher education and leadership, she spends her time helping people work through grief and heal their relationships as well as helping business leaders increase employee engagement and retention. She and her husband, Chuck, have been working with couples as marriage educators since 2009. Today, Ashley’s sharing her thoughts on how to creatively add value to others’ lives, how much (or little) we should care about what others think of us, and how to seek God even when the enemy tries to stop us.

QUESTION #1: ACQUAINT

There’s much more to food than palate and preference. How does a go-to meal at your favorite hometown restaurant reveal the true you behind the web bio?

For breakfast, do you like a small dish or a hearty feast? Most of the time, I opt for a light choice to get my day started, but occasionally, I enjoy a robust treat!

One of my favorite dishes is the Ay Caramba Skillet with a side of pancakes at Nellie’s. It’s a spicy dish made of chorizo, jalapeños, eggs and more. One of the reasons this dish is a favorite is because it’s so big that my husband and I can share it!

I’m a bit frugal, and I love to do things in community, so when I can find a way to save money while eating out, it’s even more enjoyable.

Another way I enjoy saving money is to make restaurant favorites at home.

I’ve not yet made both pancakes and a “skillet” dish at the same time, but Chuck and I’ve enjoyed tossing potatoes, peppers, onions, chorizo, eggs and cheese in a skillet to make our own rendition of an Ay Caramba Skillet.

And that’s how I am. I enjoy the process of getting inspired and then re-creating something to make it new. For example, after hearing many people say they wouldn’t try counseling, I considered options to help make it easier. One simple task I’ve tried has been to create some social media videos where I bring counseling tools to the social context. Hopefully, this helps some people who aren’t yet ready for counseling. It aids in two ways: It brings the tools directly to them for use at the moment, and it has the potential to shift their negative outlook toward getting help.

I’ve developed online courses to help with relationships and co-wrote a book titled I Used to Be _____, in which I bring counseling tools directly to the user in a different way. From reading plans on the Bible App to courses, articles, and virtual coaching, I love gaining inspiration from others and developing an idea (or a dish) that meets a need in a slightly different way!

People mountain biking in a forest — Tim Foster; Unsplash

QUESTION #2: REVEAL

We’ve all got quirky proclivities and out-of-the-way interests. So what are yours? What so-called “nonspiritual” activities do you love and help you find spiritual renewal?

I am an amateur painter, baker, and mountain biker.

As an artist, I’ve never felt super confident in my artwork. As I typed the previous sentence, I was suddenly back in elementary school. I heard the deep, gruff voice of my art teacher as he stood over my shoulder and complimented my artwork. I wondered what he saw in my work and why he liked it.

As I drifted back toward the present moment, I reflected on the fact that I’m still pretty similar to that little girl when it comes to my writing and speaking. I’ve gained confidence in pointing people to Jesus, but I’m still perplexed that people would see value in what I create.

I love to add value to people’s lives, so my favorite way to write, paint or mountain bike is packed with meaning. One of my favorite painting memories is with my kids. We created a winter painting set; each of us had our own canvas, and we walked through each step together. The result was a beautiful set of paintings that showed our various interpretations of the work.

My favorite time of day is dessert after dinner. If I can mix up some cookie dough with my kids, that’s fun and then we keep the dough in the fridge for a week or so and can make a few cookies for dessert (or simply heat the cookie dough in the microwave and dip strawberries in it!).

When I bike, it’s always about relationship. I bike with my husband and three boys mostly, and we’ll sometimes bring others. Last year, we hosted a private marriage adventure weekend where one of the options was to mountain bike and complete some fun relationship challenges along the way. If there’s a way to incorporate meaning into fun moments, I find it enjoyable.

QUESTION #3: CONFESS

Every superhero has a weakness. Every human, too. We’re just good at faking it. But who are we kidding? We’re broken and in this thing together. So what’s your kryptonite and how do you hide it?

I care too much about what people think of me. Now it isn’t all bad to care what people think of me, but I recall several times when I was told, “You care too much what people think of you.” This heaped shame on my childhood heart, but since I’m a thinker who cares about what people say, I’ve spent some time reflecting on this idea.

We must care about people and what they think or we’ll grow selfish. However, admittedly, I’ve gone to the other extreme and have unintentionally held on to things people have said to me decades ago. Earlier today, I opened my hands in prayer and released something I was told as a kid. I said, “I’m not a red-headed hothead. God, I am wise and will calm anger (see Proverbs 29:8). I release what others have said about me and invite you to tell me who I am.”

In every dysfunctional act, there’s some good. There’s function in the dysfunction. For me, caring about what people think has pushed me to edit more and hone my craft. These are good things, yet when I get tired, I find myself unable to hustle, finding it difficult to put myself (or my husband and I) out there for an opportunity. I worry that my B-game won’t be enough. I am working to remind myself that time with God will restore what “caring too much” breaks down.

QUESTION #4: FIRE UP

Tell us about your toil. How are you investing your professional time right now? What’s your obsession? And why should it be ours?

As well as being a writer and speaker, I’m a counselor. This week, during one of my couples counseling sessions, I shared my screen and drafted an exercise on the digital whiteboard. When we finished, I decided to turn it into a worksheet so I could share it with other couples. I love to whiteboard concepts and find it exhilarating to create resources that help people grow closer to God and others, building stronger relationships so they can leave a legacy for generations that follow!

Additionally, this week, my husband and I have had some meetings and podcast appearances. One of our favorite professional opportunities was leading a workshop for a group of counselors on the West Coast.

I’ve also led worship and am preparing to teach a series on prayer at church. This will not be a traditional prayer class but will be different from anything I’ve ever attended. I like to combine my experiences to create something that will keep people’s attention. I believe God is amazing, and when we help his Word come alive to others, it’s one of the most important ways we can bring him glory.

You, too, have had a lot of unique experiences. How can you synthesize those ideas and create something new and exciting that will bring honor to God?

QUESTION #5: BOOST

Cashiers, CEOs, contractors, or customer service reps, we all need grace flowing into us and back out into the world. How does the Holy Spirit invigorate your work? And how do you know it’s God when it happens?

I made a commitment to follow God as a young child, and I’ve read the Bible for most of my life. So I’ve had thousands of experiences in God’s Word. Many of them have been relatively ordinary. But when the words leap off the page and into my heart, I feel alive in a powerful way. When I feel prompted to write something as a result of what I’ve read, I sense the Holy Spirit is working.

I believe God has given me a gift of boldness. Sometimes this feels more like a burden and less of a gift, and mostly, I haven’t always known with certainty that God was prompting me.

Let me share a painful example. On more than one occasion, I’ve recognized when a couple was having an affair. In one situation, I spoke up and shared my concerns. Although I was reassured and slightly scolded, I felt like it was the right thing to do. Years later, I found out that the couple was indeed having an affair.

I felt God was prodding me to speak up for the sake of the kiddos and the marriage that was at risk. But I didn’t want to. I thought all of the same things you might think. But I spoke up because I wanted to be obedient — and still do. I want to walk in faith. I want to be led by the Holy Spirit.

And yet, it’s okay if we don’t always walk in perfect clarity. It wouldn’t be called a step of faith if we could see clearly.

Lord, reassure us of your presence and your leading so we can walk out the calling you’ve placed on our lives!

QUESTION #6: inspire

Scripture and tradition beckon us into the rich and varied actions that open our hearts to the presence of God. So spill it, which spiritual practice is workin’ best for you right now?

My spiritual practices have shifted in the past year or so due to experiencing tailbone pain (boo!). In the past, I loved waking up, turning on the lamp and sitting in bed beside Chuck while we (mostly separately) spent time with God in worship and in Bible reading.

Because lying down causes me to feel more drowsy and less engaged, I’ve tried some other things from time to time. A couple of times, Chuck and I have gone on a prayer walk in the morning. The first time we walked and prayed, I felt God move on my heart and I became tearful. I recalled Genesis 50:20 and that the enemy wants to make it difficult to connect with God through physical pain and other challenges. But we can persevere, and God will inspire creativity if we look to him with our troubles.

One of the more unique spiritual practices I have is this: To help my family and me hide God’s Word in our hearts, I create some “tunes” that make it easier to learn the Word. We recently released a YouVersion Bible plan where we share three songs to help others memorize the Bible in a fun and quick way!

QUESTION #7: FOCUS

Our email subscribers get free ebooks featuring our favorite resources — lots of things that have truly impacted our faith lives. But you know about some really great stuff, too. What are three resources that have impacted you?

Of course, the Bible is the most important book I will ever read, so a resource that helps me dive into God’s Word everywhere I go is the YouVersion Bible app. I love the diversity offered and enjoy the community aspect of the app. Especially if I’m between books of the Bible or struggling for the day, I enjoy reading what my friends and family have highlighted or found meaningful in some way! Also, making verse images is a fun and creative expression, allowing for further reflection upon verses and a beautiful way to share the Light with others!

As a kid, I read Joyce Meyer’s “The Battlefield of the Mind” and was encouraged to examine my thinking patterns and fight for my faith by the way I think. I later pursued a degree in psychology and counseling to gain insight into ways to help people win in their minds. Meyer’s book, along with others, has greatly inspired my career choice and my ministry. Craig Groeschel’s “Winning the War in Your Mind” is a newer book I’ve recommended to people on this topic! (And when I grabbed the hyperlink for his book, I learned there’s a teen version. I just sent it to my husband to add it to our Amazon cart.)

In college, I read “Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire” and was inspired to invite God to stir up the fire in my soul. I wanted a fresh wind then, and I want it now. Often, during prayer, my passion seems to grow, only later to be stifled by the discouragements I face in my daily life. From bickering children to the long list of tasks that need to be completed, the fire of my soul always seems to be at risk of being extinguished. But I’ve learned some powerfully simple ways to bring God into our arguments, meals, walks, laundry, bathing routine, drive time and workouts. God is in everything, so we can open our hearts to him even when life is tough, when we’re stuck in the mundane, or when we long for routine. Lord, bring a fresh wind and a fresh fire to our souls!

We all have things we cling to to survive (or thrive) in tough times. Name one resource you’ve found indispensable in this current season — and tell us what it’s done for you.

I enjoy taking in content on RightNow Media. I recently finished a series called “Starved” which was written by my friend Amy Seiffert. (You might need to create an account to view the series!)

Chuck and I have been trying to be more intentional about using more of our leisure time to be in God’s Word together. We’ve used RightNow Media to help with this goal. One series we’ve enjoyed is With God in Wild Places. We’re thankful for the vision behind the content offered on RightNow Media. From personal devotional time to family entertainment to small group studies, there’s so much spiritual value offered by RightNow Media. And we’re grateful!

QUESTION #8: dream

God is continually stirring new things in each of us. So give us the scoop! What’s beginning to stir in you but not yet fully awakened? What can we expect from you in the future?

You’re asking hard questions! As someone who would like a clear roadmap for the journey ahead of me, I’m a bit uncomfortable in the current season.

I want clarity about where God wants to use us, but I’m also quite tired. I’m thankful for a little bit more family time in the past few weeks, and that’s been restorative. Perhaps God isn’t showing us what’s next until our tank gets a little fuller.

Yesterday, Chuck and I made progress as we prayed and processed through some opportunities. We crossed two items off our list. Although we don’t have a clear roadmap, we feel secure to say no to two paths.

We plan to continue to write and speak, coach and counsel, and serve in ministry in various ways. I wish I had a more “certain” answer to share, but I was recently encouraged by someone much further along in the journey than me. He shared that he was unsure what decisions to make in the upcoming season. It brought me comfort to hear that he’s following God and doesn’t have it all figured out. So hopefully, you receive comfort in times of uncertainty as well. God is still good, and he’s still leading — even when we don’t see the roadmap. Today, I trust it’s there in the palm of his hand.

Earlier in our interview, Ashley talked about surrendering to the Lord negative things people had said about her in the past.

What things have people said about you that you need to release to the Lord? They may not be overtly negative things. Often, even seemingly harmless descriptions about us are still negative under the surface and can influence the way we view ourselves. Can you think of a few of those descriptions? If so, we encourage you to write them down.

Once you have your list, you can surrender them to the Lord one by one. Here’s a simple prayer to help guide you:

“God, thank you that I am not (negative description). Instead, I am loved, chosen, and wonderfully made by you. Thank you for the purpose you have for me and for demonstrating your power through my weakness.”