Teen Boys Struggle With Body Image Issues, Too
Jim Daly
Focus on the Family
A weekly advice column written by Jim Daly, Focus on the Family draws upon a deep, abiding Christian faith to help heal broken marriages and troubled families, built on a foundation of “the power of hope and second chances.” Focus on the Family’s sound, Christian guidance gives readers helpful answers on how to navigate a steady path in an uncertain world.
Q: Our teen son seems fixated — almost obsessed — about how he looks. It's not just filtering or editing his selfies. He seems almost panicky about his physique. Is that normal?
Jim: I think most of us are aware that body image is a huge issue for teen girls. But many parents don't realize that more and more teen boys are also susceptible to body image struggles. Having raised two sons myself, I can tell you it's A Big Thing.
Studies are tracing this growing problem to a cultural shift that has redefined the ideal male body image in recent decades. Professional athletes are bigger and stronger than ever before. Hollywood used to portray superheroes as average guys in spandex. Now they're played by bodybuilders — or even entirely computer generated. Today's teen boys are also greatly influenced by social media and a marketing machine fueling the multi-billion-dollar fitness and fashion industries.
The problem isn't that teen boys are aspiring to a much greater level of physical fitness. Making improvements in diet and exercise can be a great decision. But, as with girls, problems can arise when boys commit too much of their time, resources and emotional energy in chasing results that may actually be unattainable.
If your son wants to hit the weights, don't discourage him entirely. But know that body image problems aren't limited to girls. Watch for signs of an extreme diet, radical weight loss or excessive fatigue from too much time in the gym.
Most of all, guide your son in setting reasonable expectations and boundaries that will help him find a good balance between his health and his body image.
Q: I'm concerned about my adult daughter. She's married to a good man, but she can be very unkind and disrespectful to him. It's embarrassing. I want to talk with her about this, but I'm not sure how. What should I do?
Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President, Marriage & Family Formation: It's wise to tread lightly here. We shouldn't shy away from confronting destructive behavior, but in every situation, it should be approached with prayer, humility and honesty. Otherwise, it can result in further harm instead of healing.
In this case, the pitfalls could be the alienation of your daughter, or an unintended wedge being driven in their relationship if your daughter thinks you're taking sides. Your actions might even backfire by further undermining her view of her husband (as in: "Can't he even fight his own battles?").
Making an honest assessment of your motives will help you avoid these undesirable outcomes. Be open to the possibility that your interpretation might be influenced by experiences from your family of origin or your own marriage. Also, could your embarrassment about your daughter's behavior be a sign that you're mostly concerned about how it reflects on you?
Keep in mind that it can be difficult for an adult child to accept "correction" from a parent. This might be a matter more appropriately addressed by a trusted friend or a mentor couple. Make that a matter of prayer.
If you decide that your relationship is strong and secure enough to have this conversation, express your concerns thoughtfully. Use "I" statements ("I think ..."), and resist blaming or judging. Rather than absolutes ("You are ..."), speak in tentative terms ("It appears that ..."). Remember: Your goal is to listen rather than trying to fix things. Do your best to preserve and maintain your relational connection.
If appropriate — and if she's open to it — you might encourage your daughter to seek professional help; she can start with our staff counselors by calling 855-771-HELP (4357). I wish you all the best.
Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author and president of Focus on the Family. He is also the host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at jimdalyblog.focusonthefamily.com or at Facebook.com/JimDalyFocus.
Distributed by Andrews McMeel Syndication. Copyright © 2025. Used with permission.
