Willow Weston
14 min read ⭑
“For more than 25 years, I’ve been inviting people to bring their real pain into a real encounter with Jesus — the One who runs toward wounds instead of away from them. I’ve watched thousands experience what happens when they’re given permission to stop pretending and dismissing what hurts.”
Willow Weston has always been a passionate communicator — from practicing Martin Luther King Jr. speeches as a kid to speaking from stages, hosting podcasts and conferences, and writing books about God’s love as an adult. Her nonprofit ministry, Collide, connects women from all walks of life around a single goal: to find hope and healing in Jesus. Her newest book, Collide: Running Into Healing When Life Hands You Hurt, explores how our unresolved pain shows up in unexpected — and often frustrating — ways in our lives, but that all begins to change when we run into the God who can handle whatever burden we’re carrying.
What exactly does that look like? Willow gives us a peek into her own personal experience with colliding with Jesus in her interview below. Read on as she shares about the lies from her childhood that she still wrestles with and practical exercises for abiding out of longing, not religious duty.
QUESTION #1: ACQUAINT
Food is always about more than food; it’s also about home and people and love. So how does a go-to meal at your favorite hometown restaurant reveal the true you behind your web bio?
I grew up in a cafe. My mom owned a hip little eatery that probably birthed the first hipsters, who didn’t even know they were hip. Vegans could get a really good veggie burger before they knew they were vegans. Mom pesto’d, pickle’d and aioli’d in the ’80s. Her way with food was so magical.
My mom was infatuated with camels and sponsored one named Irvine. She got pictures and letters about her adopted animal and thought it was a fantastic idea to have it painted on the side of the cafe. This mural is now a tourist attraction. You will instantly recognize it if you’ve ever watched the popular ’90s TV show “Northern Exposure.”
The cafe’s food was homemade because there was no other way. The peanut butter pie was to die for, and so were the beef tips with béarnaise and the chicken breasts stuffed with spinach cream sauce. I didn’t grow up asking, “What’s for dinner?” I grew up ordering off a divine menu.
The old coal miners and I would eat breakfast. They would cut my ham, and we would play tic-tac-toe on napkins. At lunch, the guys from the lumberyard would charm the waitresses. There was also Tom, the waiter, who was as loving as he was a party animal. During the summer, bikers would swarm the cafe. There was Zandu, a local artist who sported a ponytail under her chin, and ate under her psychedelically simple swirl canvases that hung for sale on the walls. You know the kind. You think, I could make that. This was my dining room growing up, and these were the people eating in it.
Looking back at this hodgepodge hippie hub of a meeting place, I wonder if this is the kind of spot where Jesus would have gone for a great mushroom burger and good company.
Unsplash+
QUESTION #2: REVEAL
What “nonspiritual” activity have you found to be quite spiritual, after all? What quirky proclivity, out-of-the-way interest or unexpected pursuit refreshes your soul?
I love to chase a sunset. There’s something about the hues being painted on a canvas in the sky that meets me in a way that feeds my soul. I swear I see colors I’ve never seen before. People who’ve had near-death experiences say heaven has colors we’ve never seen before. I wonder if sunsets are our peekaboo view.
Each sunset is unlike any other. The older I get, the more I have to go looking for God outside. Off a screen, away from a crowd, not in a sanctuary or a book. I can find him there, too, and frequent these places, but outdoors, I connect with my Creator in a way that hand-feeds me.
Sometimes the greatest thing we can do is go outside. Head to the water. Listen to the birds. Let the waves crash on our feet. Look up at trees that are older than you and your grandma put together. Sit awestruck at the beauty of it all.
Sure, you can feel small and insignificant, but most likely, you will feel seen, loved and held. Maybe this is why the psalmist says in Psalm 19: “The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims his handiwork. Day to day pours out speech, and night to night reveals knowledge. There is no speech, nor are there words, whose voice is not heard” (vv. 1-3, ESV).
We all yearn to see God’s face, to touch him, to hear just a word. Perhaps all we need to do is go watch a sunset.
QUESTION #3: CONFESS
Every superhero has a weakness; every human, too. We’re just good at faking it. But who are we kidding? We’re all broken and in this thing together. So what’s your kryptonite and how do you confront its power?
Fending off the lie that I’m not worthy of being chosen might be my fiercest battle. This lie has been spittin’ lies to me most of my life. My mom’s addiction found her chasing her own longings, leaving me home alone and being alone always whispered, “You deserve to be.” My father’s preoccupation with whatever it was that kept him absent always told me, “You’re not enough to stay.”
Maybe like you, their wounds caused mine. And sure, God has gotten hold of my life and has shown me I am chosen, worthy and loved. And I believe him. I really do. But on a bad day, in a moment of insecurity, in a circumstance that triggers, I am really great at time-traveling back to being that little girl and believing these mean, mean lies. And when I do, I act out of a place of abandonment instead of adoption. Fear instead of courage. Inadequacy instead of confidence. And acting out of these places not only gives these lies power, but it births more wounds.
QUESTION #4: FIRE UP
Tell us about your toil. How are you investing your professional time right now? What’s your current obsession? And why should it be ours?
What I’m working on and am honestly obsessed with is helping hurting people heal in ways that actually heal.
I am compelled by the reality that unhealed wounds don’t stay quiet.
So many of us were told to just move on. Don’t dwell. Don’t look back. Sweep it under the rug. Forgive and forget. We slap a Band-Aid on a wound that is still bleeding and call it mature or spiritual or “strong.” But unresolved pain doesn’t disappear just because we refuse to visit it. It comes out sideways. It leaks into our marriages, our friendships, our leadership, our parenting. We snap when we mean to speak gently. We withdraw when we long to connect. We sabotage before we can be rejected. We call it “personality” or “stress” or “just being busy,” but it’s often unhealed hurt demanding attention. We are invited to move on, yet no one teaches us how to actually heal.
I know this not from theory, but from living it.
I grew up in chaos — addiction, absence, instability and deep loneliness. I learned grit and survival, but I also learned what pain feels like. I’ve seen how easily pain travels — how wounded people collide with other wounded people and create more wounds. We pass hurt down like an inheritance unless someone or something interrupts it.
That interruption is what I’m devoted to.
For more than 25 years, I’ve been inviting people to bring their real pain into a real encounter with Jesus — the One who runs toward wounds instead of away from them. I’ve watched thousands experience what happens when they’re given permission to stop pretending and dismissing what hurts. We’ve all been bumping around, colliding, wounding each other and we’re in need of a new kind of collision! And what I’ve experienced in Jesus is that when we collide with him, we are left more whole than broken. I explore this idea more in depth in my new book, “Collide: Running Into Healing When Life Hands You Hurt.”
So I am obsessed with creating spaces like Collide where people can run into a God who can not only handle their hurt — he can heal it. And not only can he heal it, but he can purpose it to help heal others! I’m living it firsthand, and I believe our healing will help heal all those we collide with. And you know what that will do? That will change the world!
QUESTION #5: BOOST
Whether we’re cashiers or CEOs, contractors or customer service reps, we all need God’s love flowing into us and back out into the world. How does the Holy Spirit invigorate your work? And how do you know it’s God when it happens?
My abiding must not be born out of dreaded obligation or religious duty, but out of longing. I know in my work that I cannot give until I first receive. I cannot teach unless I am still learning. I cannot feed unless I am hungry. I cannot create unless I remember I am created. And how dare I preach unless I am humbled by the Word?
Like you, I have watched people do things in Jesus’ name while looking nothing like Jesus. They speak with passion but cannot sit with someone who is crying. They give generously yet won’t look a homeless person in the eye. They cling to religious titles while judging everyone who doesn’t live, think or worship like they do. They have big opinions from lots of scrolling but haven’t plopped on God’s lap in months to ask him what he thinks.
I often say, “If you don’t look like Jesus while doing Jesus’ work, you ought not do it.” I’m not claiming perfection — I am far from it. But this is my plumb line: if I find myself impatient with someone needy, annoyed by someone messy or too busy for someone broken, I have to stop and ask, what am I even doing? If I do something in his name, I ought to look like him.
So I return to the One I claim to work for. Without him, I am nothing. When I’m hustling on empty, I go to the One who invites the weary. When I’m trying to prove my worth instead of handing others theirs, I go back to the One who gave up his life for mine and bask in that truth. Then I ask him to help me become more obsessed with handing out worth than getting it — because it’s already been gotten.
I want to be part of miracles. I want to see lives changed. At the end of my life, I want to see that I poured the whole thing out for other people so they could know our beautiful Jesus. And I think I’ll see that but only if I keep going back to the One who gave me life in the first place, counting on him to keep giving me life, breath, energy, creativity and, most of all, love — so I can pass it on.
QUESTION #6: inspire
Scripture and tradition beckon us into the rich and varied habits that open our hearts to the presence of God. So let us in. Which spiritual practice is working best for you in this season?
The most consistent spiritual practice that has grounded me for almost 30 years is my morning routine. It’s ordinary. It’s simple. It won’t blow your mind at all. But it has done two things. One, it has created consistency with God in my life that this hippie, free-spirit girl who likes to mix things up desperately needed. I am an engineer’s worst nightmare. I like change. I like spontaneity. I don’t like doing the same thing twice. I like parties. I like loud music. I like being hyper. I’m like a seventh-grader trapped in a 50-year-old body.
So this practice I’ve done for almost three decades has not only grounded my spiritual life, but my marriage, too.
Let me describe for you how boring it is.
I wake up, as often as possible, without an alarm. I walk downstairs and sit on the right side of the couch, sideways. I put my back against the arm and stretch my legs out. I lay a blanket over them, and my mini Australian Labradoodle comes over, puts her paws on my lap, wags her tail and says, “Good morning.” I pet her, and then my ever-faithful, very consistent, completely habitual husband walks over and hands me a mug with coffee and a teeny bit of cream. I always feel so grateful and think, The day one of us dies, this will be the moment of the day we feel the burn of our grief most.
I sip my cup and think, Jesus isn’t ready for me yet. Even he doesn’t want to be with me until I wake up because, well, friend, I am a very fun person — but not until I’ve had my coffee!
Once I feel awake enough, I read. I read Scripture. I read books that point me toward Jesus. And I journal my prayers. Every day I write to God. I pour out my feelings. He can handle each one. I thank him. I hand him my worries, my people, my dreams.
This isn’t rocket science. It’s not magic. But it is. Because every day for 30 years, God has sweetly met me. Just like my sweet husband hands me a cup, Jesus hands me his presence. I can access him. He walks with me. I feel known, understood, held. He is good. When I’m scared, he reminds me he has shown up in my fear before. When I need provision, he tells me he’s got me. Our daily morning together has shaped everything — my marriage, my faith, my courage, my calling. Before the world gets me, I get Jesus.
QUESTION #7: FOCUS
Looking backward, considering the full sweep of your unique faith journey and all you encountered along the way, what top three resources stand out to you? What changed reality and changed your heart?
Oh man. The best resources that have shaped my life … where do I even start?
First: a Christian therapist. If you don’t have one, find one. Sell your right arm to find one. OK, maybe not. But truly, therapy has been one of the most profound tools God has used in my healing. It’s a space you set aside every week to give God your yes to healing. You tell yourself you are worthy of it. You open your life to someone else speaking into it. You trust that God heals what we name — and this is the space to name it. If you don’t know where to start, ask a friend who loves theirs. Or come find me. I’ll help you.
Second: the very first Bible study I ever did when I gave my life to Christ — “Experiencing God.” It feels funny to mention because it’s old, but it changed me. As an irreligious, unchurched girl who had never read the Bible before, I learned at age 21 that God speaks — and how he speaks! Once you know that, you start looking for him around every corner, and you begin seeing him everywhere. He becomes more than an idea, more than someone you heard about in church, more than someone your grandma told you about. He becomes your reality. You begin to experience the extraordinary in the ordinary, and there’s no better way to live than that.
Third: Christian community. I know that sounds duh. And I know church can disappoint you. It can hurt you. You won’t agree with everything or even like everyone. But growth rarely happens in agreement alone. Don’t we grow when we gather with people who think differently? When we have hard conversations? When we practice forgiveness?
Community has been the single biggest thing that has kept me tethered to Jesus. Hearing testimonies when my faith was weak. Sitting under the teaching of his Word. Being challenged, loved, served and seen. That kind of shaping doesn’t happen alone or by watching your favorite Christian celeb preach on YouTube.
So even if it sounds obvious, it’s not. Let’s not give up meeting together, learning from one another, loving and being loved. It’s there that we grow to know ourselves and Jesus more deeply.
Certain things can be godsends, helping us survive, even thrive, in our fast-paced world. Does technology ever help you this way? Has an app ever boosted your spiritual growth? If so, how?
I am not a big social media gal. I’ve been dragging my feet and avoiding hopping on the bandwagon. I know, I know. I sound ancient. At first, I was like, “Why would I want followers? I’m trying to make Jesus followers.” But I’m being schooled and shifting my mindset.
Online spaces can be ministry.
The way I see it, Jesus meets people where they are. He met the thirsty woman at the well. He met the woman caught in adultery right in the middle of the town square while the Judgy Judgertons were casting stones. He met Zacchaeus up in a tree, just trying to catch a glimpse.
Well… where are the people?
They’re on the socials.
If we want to impact, influence, inspire, transform, speak to or love people, we have to go where they are. If you’re called to minister to gang members, you go where they hang. If you’re called to minister to teens, they’re not at bingo night at the nursing home. If you want to impact men, you don’t go to a women’s tea. We go where the people we’re called to love are.
So instead of fighting being online, I’m embracing it with this in mind. This is going to the well where thirsty women are scrolling to be quenched. This is walking into the town square where modern-day Zachs are peeking over the crowd, wondering, Who is Jesus, really? This is standing present while stones are flying and choosing, like Jesus, to absorb some of the blows so the ashamed and the searching know they are wildly loved.
If that’s where the people are, that’s where I want to be.
QUESTION #8: dream
God’s continually stirring new things in each of us. So give us the scoop! What’s beginning to stir in you but not yet fully awakened? What can we expect from you in the future?
I just released my debut book, and I still can’t quite believe I get to say that. It’s been years in the making and required all the courage I could muster. I’m the girl who wasn’t supposed to share her story. I was supposed to stay silent, pretend, join in the denial and tell a version other than the one I actually lived. But here I am, going for it.
“Collide: Running into Healing When Life Hands You Hurt” was born out of my own story of wounds, healing and colliding with a Jesus who runs toward pain instead of away from it. It’s not a book I wrote from theory — it’s one I wrote from scars.
When people ask what I’m dreaming about, my answer is simple: I’m dreaming that this book finds the hurting. I’m running after them and cannot wait to see what God does! My biggest hope is that this book finds the one who feels too messy for God. The one who feels broken and quietly longs to be put back together again. The one who hoped they’d be in a better place by now, but just aren’t. The one who still feels angry, bitter or disappointed and doesn’t know what to do with it. The one who cries at Christmas and can’t explain why. The one who wonders where God has been in all their pain. The one whose past is still haunting their present. The one who has been in self-protective mode for so long that it’s hurting more than it’s helping. The one who wanted their story to turn out differently.
That’s who I’m dreaming about.
I’m dreaming that they would run into the One who brings wholeness to woundedness. That they would collide with Jesus and discover that he is not intimidated by their pain, disappointed in their process or distant from their story. And that, together, we would begin writing a new one.
Earlier in her interview, Willow confessed that some of the lies she still hears sometimes include “You deserve to be alone” and “You’re not enough to stay.”
What lies, perhaps from your past, do you still hear today? What does Scripture have to say about them? How can you invite Jesus into those thoughts and feelings?
Our prayer for you this week is that, no matter how strong the lies are or how often they come, you cling tightly to Jesus and his love. He will never leave you or forsake you (see Heb. 13:5).
Willow Weston is an author, speaker, podcast host, conference curator and the founder and director of Collide, a nonprofit ministry based in the PNW with a national reach impacting thousands of women. She’s also the author of Collide: Running Into Healing When Life Hands You Hurt. She has been in ministry for 25 years and loves bringing passion, truth and story into every room she walks into. Willow, a mom and wife, is obsessed with throwing parties, coffee, the beach, sunsets, kid cuddles and a good story.